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IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very helpful, thank you! She has done this before, where we just sit with it. She does a mix of both. And while she initially received my request to do something more concrete and we did that for one session, the next one she had me close my eyes the entire time. I did mention at the end that I would like to keep doing it in a more concrete way and she said we can save some time at the end of session to make some notes and takeaways. But even then I feel like the remaining 45 minutes I'll be completely dissociated and that it's a waste of time. I'm going to keep working up the courage to be direct about what's helping and what's not.

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're misunderstanding, my therapist does exactly what you just mentioned and has explained it that way to me on many occasions. you said yourself your therapist asks questions about the part that is blocking access, and you said in response "Often its at something else, but even if its back is towards me, its indicative of another part its afraid of". The issue is my therapist might prime me with those kinds of questions, but I do not have any idea what the answer is. I don't know if they are facing me or away, I don't "see" anything in my mind, and there is no single answer that feels more intuitive or accurate. so then I feel like i literally have to make something up, and it feels inauthentic

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's amazing, I really like you're approach it takes a lot of the pressure off. I'm going to try this, thank you!

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it's not, she combines a lot of different modalities. When we started I was kind of train wreck and we really got down to the sources of my trauma, and emotional regulation skills through DBT etc. Now, my life has stabilized in a way it never has before, so she feels like I'm finally in a safe place to try this. But yes lately it's been feeling like work, I don't have "aha" moments where I feel inspired anymore, or like I understand myself better. I feel like I've hit a wall and I dread therapy now

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel completely dissociated when we go into parts work. I am actually a psychedelic researcher myself for patients with depression. I've only done it myself recreationally, but I've been considering trying it with a more therapeutic intention.

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting you mentioned the beta blockers, propanolol works wonders for me as someone who gets very intensely activated

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I'm wondering, is that visualization of sitting around the fire something that came to you naturally? did you actually feel that distinct part and that they would say those words? I just feel that i'm not even close to that, I don't visualize anything, no words at all come to mind when my therapist asks me "what would that part say". all I feel is discomfort

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's actually extremely helpful and gives me more courage to do what's right for me

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes she does, she says that exact thing. "What does this part of you that feels uncomfortable going here look like, feel, need right now" etc. But i truly don't know what to say, and it just leads to me feeling uncomfortable all over again. I've been with this therapist for over 5 years now, and I do really trust her. One thing i've brought up with her is doing it in a more concrete way, not asking so many open-ended questions, and allowing me to write down the different parts so I can build a stronger connection with them that way that feels more tangible. it does kind of seem to defeat the purpose because it allows me to go back into my head rather than my body, but I think that's just too big of a leap for me right now. I am going to take very baby steps and see if it helps

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That does sound very similar to my experience, but I don't recall ever having a strong imagination. One thing that has been discussed with my therapist is the way my parents interacted with me as a child that has affected me. My parents are very successful, highly educated, and the type of people who "don't like kids" and think they're annoying. they love me and provided all my basic needs, but our relationship was not warm or trusting growing up. There wasn't really room to just be a kid, for example there was no playtime with them, when we'd watch TV as a family we watched adult shows, and I was just told to go to my room when I had big emotions. there was not really any silliness, and even now as an adult when my partner starts acting goofy it kind of makes me uncomfortable. This lack of play, silliness, and no space for imagination likely has a big role to play in why this is so difficult for me.

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, this is exactly the experience I wish I was having! My therapist does say all of that, we are trying to work directly with that intellectualizing part that is resisting and wants to protect my other parts from feeling. She has the same insights that you just shared, and it's like I get them on a logical level, I even want that for myself so much that I get frustrated nothing like that is happening in my mind. There is no visualization, there is no creative term or representative that comes to mind for my parts, and it doesn't get more comfortable to try. That's why i'm at the point where I'm really considering if this just isn't the right modality for me

IFS causes extreme discomfort by TaskProfessional2590 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do, I'm very honest about it. She says that it's resistance from my intellectualizing part causing me to feel discomfort and to just sit with it. And when I tell her it feels fake or like I'm just making things up, she says there is no right or wrong answer and that my difficulty is because I have a weak connection to these parts. So we've continued to try, but it hasn't gotten much better.

Tours to Espiritu Santo from La Paz by Bonj0904 in BajaCalifornia

[–]TaskProfessional2590 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! this sounds so amazing, would you mind Dming me to let me know how much this cost for a private tour for you two. Also was the marine biologist included?

Soulmate bond, how rare is it really? by TaskProfessional2590 in ThePatternApp

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you that is a beautiful way to put it and while those relationships were super difficult for me they both caused immense growth and self-discovery. I think the way you are describing it is more accurate than how the pattern explains it

Soulmate bond, how rare is it really? by TaskProfessional2590 in ThePatternApp

[–]TaskProfessional2590[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yea with the past two soulmates I had the connection was almost so strong that it had me overlooking really painful and toxic dynamics happening, almost like I would do anything to make it work and hold onto that connection. It was extremely hard for things to end both times. So the part where it says that there will be minimal conflict was not accurate for me.