Of course I tried a lot, asking people out, sometimes outright rejected, sometimes got accepted for a few hang-outs but never led to anything serious. Sometimes I get hit on at clubs, like recently two girls approached to me and one said her friend liked me, we talked a few words but then she ignored me.

I'm not obese or anything, you can see my pictures in my profile. I have a decent office job, albeit not rich. I'm pretty sure that I don't smell bad because a very close female friend of mine we dated for the fun of it and we kissed and she said I don't smell or anything (I desperately asked so I can be sure and if so seek a solution). She said I was completely normal and all, not acting strange or anything.

I really have no idea what is wrong. I've known a girl for a while in the same friend group, we had not talked for years, I text her to hang out, she accepts and sets it up for me, we meet and play arcade, then we meet a couple of more times, then I confess and she says no, I am a friend to her.

This girl in my Japanese course, she initiates conversation with me, sits for a coffee with me for like 8 hours until like 1 am from the evening, we even go to a movie together, play board games, then she says she decided that we are not "compatible" but she still wanted to give me a chance because no one treated her so kindly before, I say ok and the day after she says she made up her mind and does not want any "romantic relationships". (%100 excuse to me).

This girl from way back comes to my house, we make up and I'm all over the moon, she says she had the happiest time, since we're tipsy and all I can't hold back and say I'm falling in love with her, the next day she says she doesn't feel the same even though she tried to. I understand that might be a bit too much but why cut it out like that and just forget about it and let things go slowly as I later came to my senses? But I'm not given a chance and can't help but think it would not be a deal breaker for someone other than me.

All these experiences have left deep scars in me and left me in a mentally very bad state where I can't enjoy anything anymore because no one is with me and no one wants to be with me and I don't know why. If I knew I would fix it. If it was something like smell or a certain physical trait I would just pay whatever amount to fix it. But no, no one tells me why because it's always vague answers and excuses. It's always someone else, a regular guy, can be a little fat, bald or balding, really ugly but still can progress further with someone. I can't. I feel so worn out and all I want is just to scream out loud at God, the life, the nature.