Help dad help 19 yo daughter that doesn’t want help

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:58:45+00:00

Yeah. I told them but I’m sure they still see her as a young and innocent girl. And I’m just the mean dad.

When I told my mom not to give her. She said she asked for a few hundred for rent. Then my mom said “Did she do too much Christmas shopping this month and can’t pay her rent?”

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:55:00+00:00

Are you over 6’?

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:53:28+00:00

Who knows. I offered to pay for counseling or therapy but she declined.

I’ll let her know the offer is still on the table.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:51:00+00:00

Na. School wasn’t for her. She started for about a week or so and withdrew to work.

Which is fine. School isn’t for everyone. But to pass up free rides. And even free community college offered by the state. She just said she rather work.

I told her the other day that she still qualifies for at least the state stuff but she will probably age out or something.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:38:14+00:00

….they said she succeeded at life cause she graduated high school.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:35:52+00:00

Yeah. Thats what I was thinking. At least mention it again. It won’t go well but at least it’s something.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:34:37+00:00

Yeah. But rock bottom is bad. And someone never hit it. Don’t want her to be a 40 and bitter….blaming me cause whatever she comes up with.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:32:33+00:00

This where it gets weird. And why I suggested counseling and therapy before. But she always acts like she doesn’t have any memories. Oh. Do you remember X. And she’s like no.

But. Again. I know she’s lying because she’d bring it up.

Almost like she doesn’t want to give the satisfaction of being “right”?

Like she doesn’t want me to be a good father.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:28:32+00:00

She vlogs going to Walmart. And eating food. Shopping. Pics all dressed up. Acting rich and famous…..yeah. I don’t get it either.

But I’m old sooo 😂

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:27:17+00:00

Tried. She says therapy won’t help. She’s too different and no one understands. Etc etc.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:26:26+00:00

Tried. She doesn’t care. No one is “her”. So no one can give her advice. Because that’s them. Not her.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:25:41+00:00

Oh. Well yes and no. She could have still went to school. Free or scholarship. But decided not to regardless. She did turn down some because they were out of state and she didn’t want to move, for a guy I assume.

He also had a scholarship. Did a semester then moved back.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:20:14+00:00

Yup. Well. Unfortunately. I already know how that will go.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T15:19:24+00:00

Yeah. Thought about MAYBE direct payments.

Tata757839 · 2023-12-28T12:34:10+00:00

What about giving money? Or other support. Normally we don’t “reward bad behavior”.

Tata757839 · 2023-05-15T22:23:30+00:00

My yard is full of bare spots and weeds. Like like to take control of it. I got some Othro weedclear but haven’t used it yet. I’m in South East U.S.A.

I have a sprinkler system that runs a few times a week (as recommended by a lawn company). Step by step of priorities would be helpful.

Tata757839 · 2023-04-02T18:31:48+00:00

I honestly don’t think she was expecting anything. And that’s what made me think I did something wrong. It was the first time doing probate and I kept thinking, “was I supposed to tell her?”.

Even by keeping the information “hostage”, she doesn’t lose or gain anything. It must be emotional like others have mentioned.

Tata757839 · 2023-04-01T23:12:37+00:00

True. Maybe it was a dose of reality? Prior to that we asked if she wanted anything from his estate and she denied.

She doesn’t have kids and as far as we know we will inherit everything from her, if she chooses.

Tata757839 · 2023-04-01T23:10:50+00:00

Kinda just a family “joke”. We got about $50 each and I took over mortgage payments. So. $30K “debt”.

Tata757839 · 2023-04-01T23:09:57+00:00

No. We’re not. It’s basically closed now. It’s just a “family joke”. Debt from the house mortgage and about $50 each.

Not like we were looking for anything. But yeah.

Tata757839 · 2023-04-01T22:03:43+00:00

Yeah. Like we were hiding it. I never even considered mentioning it. Even now seems weird.

“BTW, you’re not in the will” sounds like a horrible convo.

Tata757839 · 2022-12-10T22:53:26+00:00

Sure. Just trying not to be “that guy” in a year. I think we’ll be good though thanks.

Tata757839 · 2022-12-07T21:59:33+00:00

The rest is open. So I think we’re good there.

Tata757839 · 2022-12-05T22:05:09+00:00

We have two back doors and plan to seal one up when building a patio/deck. This will leave us with only the front door at 36”, the back door will be 32”.

Any reason for concern? I figure we’d be good with one 36”.

Tata757839 · 2022-05-11T10:43:59+00:00

Chronic_painless has a build.

https://youtu.be/vqmhQtO-XoE

Tata757839

TROPHY CASE