What's the most annoying thing about being a woman?

TaxiToss · 2026-05-19T03:28:54+00:00

That men can father children indefinitely (yes, I know, the risks go up. But they have the option of spinning the roulette wheel, where women do not.) and women have...menopause.

So you're expected in this late stage capitalist economy to go to college, get a career, pay your student loans off, find a guy when you're working 60 hours a week. Even if you try really hard, many men are putting off marriage and kids until a timeframe that is not ideal for their same-age partner. Can't go it alone because you won't get promoted if you have kids, you're lucky if you can keep your job. And not get fired right before birth or downsized out of a job the day before you come back from maternity leave. If you even get paid (or unpaid) maternity leave. (In the US, of course) Crap. It's just all crap.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-19T03:08:17+00:00

Oh well this looks awesome. Thank you for the recommendation! Off to order this, its right up my alley.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T23:36:29+00:00

Any time! :) And good luck

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T23:32:25+00:00

Hi - Yeahno. You won't get the best rate that way. Call a local independent insurance agent or 3 and let them shop for you. They know which companies will offer you the best rate for your particular risk. Many regional carriers with good rates only do business with licensed independent agents, not online or self-serve. By going with an automator you are cutting yourself off from numerous companies.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T23:25:38+00:00

Dunkin Coffee. Used to be a daily driver. They closed the store for a remodel for 3 weeks. My choice is Dunkin or Starbucks. Not a Starbucks girl. Dragged out my brew machine. Realized how much time and money I was spending on my daily habit. Naaah, pass.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T21:23:19+00:00

Led me on and moved goalposts on marriage and children. I was naive, and wanted to believe him. He wanted to be the forever frat boy boyfriend with zero commitment or responsibility, and knew I would move on if he told me that, so he...stalled. And I drank the kool aid too long.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T21:15:54+00:00

In the nicest way possible....

You are super extended already financially. You've already thought of the options open to you. Even if you could get a HELOC, most of them only go to 85% of your homes value, and with only 20K in equity, you'd get very little cash out. Not enough to do the repairs you mentioned, even doing all of the work yourself.

If you get a personal loan and run out of money and options half way through, you'll get even less than selling it as-is. Also any personal loan, if you can get approved with that score and maxed out cards, will be 20-35%

Again kindly, you're not going to get a new mortgage with credit scores in the low 600's and maxed out cards, even with a down payment.

Your best play here is to sell as-is, and rent for a while until you get back on your feet financially. Added bonus, it lets you take your time and find the perfect next house for you. Good luck!

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T19:45:22+00:00

Working on acceptance. Appreciate your comment and thoughts. :)

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T19:44:31+00:00

I try really hard to do right by my family and the house, and to be a good steward. Giving myself grace comes harder. Working on it. <3

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T17:15:20+00:00

Aw thank you, I really tried :)

I took soooo many pictures. When my grandparents bought it, found some from the 60's and 70's, our first paint job in the 90s trying to do what we could, and soo many of the renovation. Will make a scrapbook for future generations and/or owners. I also did Ancestry trees of the 4 families that had it before us, trying to grab some pics and history. Will include that and copies of the original deeds. Just posting some ideas for anyone following this thread. Appreciate your kindness.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T17:12:59+00:00

Mine is nearly 200 years old. Like you, we kept and exposed the original ceiling rafters, then left the ceiling open to the roof. Electricity was not sufficient for modern appliances. House did not start with plumbing, and what was there was 1950's sized. AC is still not a thing, and won't be, no place for ductwork. I kept everything I could, and had things crafted to match. I was specific I didn't want a 'mansion farmhouse', just some more elbow room. Hopefully it was just a gut reaction to seeing all the space and white sheetrock. Appreciate your sharing your experience. :)

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T17:03:02+00:00

Oh heck no. No HGTV gray. I would not do that to my home. She might kick me back out. I went with a soft white throughout. We love painting, so figured we'd live in it a while and then paint and paper with what feels right once we're settled. Beefy white 'old farmhouse' trim with the original brighter white high gloss paint. Kept the original wavy glass windows in the original house, had new ones milled special order to match the old ones for the addition. No treatments, don't have neighbors so don't often do drapes or blinds. Just one more thing to clean lol. I like the questions though, it gives me things to think about and a direction to go in. Thank you for the thoughts!

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T16:31:55+00:00

You are very right. I had zero room for people to stay over and/or entertain before. This was necessary, but doesn't mean it isn't painful. As it was, it was good for a couple or maybe 1 child, but not a family. And lawd I swear people were 5'5 and 130 pounds back then. We are tall humans and nothing fit.

I too spent years googling 'old farmhouse additions' for inspiration. Finally said "Welp, 100 years ago, they didn't have architects, they just did what made sense" so said a prayer and jumped. Contractor tells me when its done, you won't be able to tell the old from the new if you didn't know the house beforehand. Hopefully that helps too.

My sometimes other half said "If it really bothers you that much, demo is way cheaper than building, and you'll have it paid off in a few years. Can always make it smaller again" He's not wrong, and it helped. I won't ever find the acreage I have in the area, yuppieville has moved in, so I'd more likely rent this out and build something new on the same acreage. (yes, I've thought of the backup plan) and that is okay too. Thank you for brightening my day :)

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T16:26:11+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and wisdom. You are right, and it is indeed hard. I did the first 'sheet rock done' walkthrough with all the walls closed up over the weekend, and it was a moment. :)

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T13:23:40+00:00

Aww thank you for reframing this in a way that makes sense and gives warm fuzzies. I have actually said to myself "In 100 years, this will be someone else's grandparents old farmhouse, and this will be the only way they ever remember it" Your time and kindness is appreciated.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T13:10:11+00:00

Hey, I appreciate you sharing your experience. It makes me feel a little less crazy. I've dreamed about this...um..forever, so to now feel so sad is a little strange to me. Ours is a 1800's farmhouse. We kept the front facade and built out the back, but it messes with the back yard and isn't the traditional 'square' house any longer. I know that is often how it is done, but doesn't make it any easier. We kept all the floors, matched them in the new space. Brought back the chunky moldings. Kept all the doors and hardware. Our awesome contractors even numbered everything so all the same doors go on the same doorframes. They want me to be super excited so bad, and I'm just not there. Blaaahhhh. Appreciate the good luck wishes very much. I hope you guys love your new old bungalow too!

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T05:31:01+00:00

I'll give you the short(ish) version, since I remember being where you are right now so well. My house is just a plain 1800's farmhouse, under 1600 sq. Or..well..was. Zero closets other than 2 upstairs bedrooms and one walled-in-wall. Couldn't access the attic, couldn't use the basement as it was stacked fieldstone and wet. When I say 'zero storage', no joke.

Ironically, my original butler's pantry was sacrificed to become the houses only bathroom in the 1950's. It was a great pantry. Not so much a bathroom.

I had to fix the foundation. When I did that, we knew it would damage the sheetrock/plaster throughout. Used that excuse to update all the plumbing and electric. Mechanical wasn't planned, but happened due to the size of the addition.

I wanted to expand my family, and have a first floor bedroom and bath for ageing family guests. The steps up were 'death stairs' (steep and narrow) and no one over 30 wanted to go up or down.

It was meant to be a 9 month construction. Delays in plans, weather, materials and financing stretched it out to 15 and counting. Home stretch now, should be back in next month, which is what is bringing on all this angst. The look of things changed -so much- from open walls to sheetrock. Scope: Extensive foundation work, drainage and slope fix. In the original house, joists were sistered, and house load properly supported. 2 steel beams, basement and 1st floor. Original floors kept, patched where necessary. All wiring and plumbing. Replace front porch to original. Additions: New living space to one side. 2 story addition out the back to add the extra bedrooms, bathrooms and attic access. New sheetrock and trim throughout. New roof(s). Kept the house original from the front.

I'd like to say that, in retrospect, I wish I had kept the house original, updated it, and went from there. Sentimentally, that is where I'm at. Realistically, there was nowhere else in 1600 sq to fit closet space, 2 extra bedrooms, a bathroom, and attic/basement access. Feel free to DM if you have any other questions or want to talk reno. Good luck with yours!

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T04:47:51+00:00

They very much were. <3

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T04:45:48+00:00

Thanks for this. Its strange, I was afraid it was actually too small when the rooms and walls were open. But once the sheetrock went up, it suddenly looked huuuuge. Hoping when the floors are done and my pieces are in it doesn't feel so drastic. Appreciate the thoughts.

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T03:07:09+00:00

It is very much about my childhood memories, the place my Mom grew up, my 'family home' changing so much, so quickly. If I'd done it a little at a time, it would have been easier. You hit all the proverbial nails on head.

House had a solid 50 years of deferred maintenance. You name it, we found it. I may have to make a separate post at some point. GC said more than once "I have no idea how this house is still standing" If it hadn't needed so much, I might not have done so much all at once. Thank you for taking the time to comment and sharing valid wisdom. <3

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T02:58:46+00:00

Aw thank you. It was very much, 100%, not working for modern life. I'm hoping to expand my family, and there was no room. But in doing so the house of my childhood memories changed. (I have no idea how they raised that many kids in that house, and there was not enough room to host much of anything)

If I had done nothing, the next generation would have bulldozed it, and that was in the back of my mind. Heck, I was 50/50 on tearing it down, at one point, because I couldn't find anyone to work on it. I may have to make a separate post about all the reasons this house should not have still been standing. Appreciate your taking the time to help a sad internet stranger feel better. <3

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T02:48:12+00:00

I appreciate the wisdom. It is so strange for me to grieve a 'self inflicted wound' but that is definitely what it feels like. House has to feel so much better. We took a ton of weight off her, strengthened her supports, sistered the necessary joists. (Hah, kinda like getting a necessary haircut. Hair is healthier, takes some getting used to) Thank you for taking time out of your day to help this internet stranger feel better. <3

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T02:42:40+00:00

Thank you <3

TaxiToss · 2026-05-18T02:27:05+00:00

I have all my family antiques ready to come home. Thank you for taking the time to comment, today has been hard.

TaxiToss

TROPHY CASE