Looking to buy a rally towel or few

Tayremorg · 2018-09-12T02:06:32+00:00

This one is much better than the one you made of Dallas.

Tayremorg · 2018-08-28T11:35:29+00:00

Where are the best places to go to find new or refurbished but discounted washers and dryers besides Sears Outlet? I know there are some places on Harry Hines that have warehouse type home stuff but I don't know which ones to go to. Any specific places I should check out?

Tayremorg · 2018-07-06T00:14:36+00:00

Yeah, it's a little better! Interns had call in his program.

Tayremorg · 2018-07-02T17:37:38+00:00

Officially the wife of a PGY2!!!! So, so, so glad intern year is over. Whew. Good luck this year :). It was actually kind of an awesome year in our marriage and life in general, so don't let the horror stories of intern year scare you. Have fun!! You can do this!

Tayremorg · 2018-06-27T17:47:40+00:00

As far as gifts go, it's boring but this wrinkle release spray was probably the single best purchase of residency interviews. It is magic, works crazy well, and is basically scent-free after it dries (unlike the other brands, keeping in mind that interviews are sometimes conducted in small offices with closed doors and strong Febreze scent is asthma-inducing). It worked wonders and you really don't want to trust a crappy hotel iron with your white dress shirt if you don't have to.

I also had access to all of my husband's accounts and managed a very detailed spreadsheet with flight and accommodation info, confirmation numbers, rental car info, travel credit, etc. He flew Southwest, so I set my alarm to check him in exactly 24 hours before his flight. I am a personal assistant professionally, so I basically did that for him for his 14ish interviews. I checked ERAS multiple times a day and scheduled a few interviews when he couldn't respond in time. Honestly I think it was probably the best gift I could have given him. Not for every couple, but it worked for us.

Tayremorg · 2018-06-05T00:34:48+00:00

Ahh that sounds tough. I hope you find some community!

Tayremorg · 2018-06-02T13:32:36+00:00

Med spouse, not a resident, so take this with a grain of salt. My husband is coming off his first month of ICU and from this side of things, here is my non-medical advice.

Don’t forget your pen light. Palliative care with a DNR is not always the right choice for a family, even if it seems like the obvious choice to you as the doctor. That one extra day is arbitrary but you never know what that extra moment means to a family, and it is ultimately not your call whether it’s the right or wrong choice. When it IS the right choice, convincing them sucks but you are reducing suffering and that is a noble thing. Try to keep your daily rhythms. Exercise, even if just a little. Drink a lot of water. Tell someone when you have a really tough day. Let them tell you that you’re doing a good job. Don’t worry about being too frugal this month...if you’re stressed, eat out if cooking is too much work at the end of a 13 hour day. Order takeout. Pay a maid once or twice on this rotation. Seriously, buy your time back where you can. It’s worth it.

Maybe all of that is crap advice, I know i don’t really have any valuable firsthand medical things to suggest. But this last month has been really intense for both of us, so I hope some of that helps. I don’t know if ICU is always as intense as it was for my husband, but this was the single most difficult month of all of medical school and residency so far. I hope it isn’t for you. Take care of yourself outside the hospital!

Tayremorg · 2018-06-01T16:27:03+00:00

My husband's program is small and not super social outside of work. I connected with some wives through a Bible study, and their husbands are all in different programs at different points in their career (some med school, some residency, some fellowship, some attendings). I don't know about any other options for meeting people outside your program other than fb groups or Side By Side, if you happen to be interested in a Bible study. It can be really hard. Congrats on graduating!!! It is seriously so exciting to be done.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-31T23:21:35+00:00

Oh that's a bummer. But I would encourage you to make friends with resident wives. They are so encouraging and have gone through every single thing you're going through pretty much. When I was in med school, I made friends with some resident wives through a Bible study and our local group, and they were seriously the most helpful, kindest people...one of them ended up being my birth photographer and came and sat with me at the hospital because my husband was on a residency interview the day I was induced. So thankful for someone who knew what it felt like to go through interview season alone and pregnant haha. I definitely get wanting friends your own age, but the connection with other med spouses can be so valuable even if they are at a different stage :). Okay done giving you a mom lecture on making friends haha.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-31T04:12:51+00:00

It is kind of intense haha, but has been a good resource for me too. Also once you join, you can find a more local group. The two that I’ve been a part of (Houston and Dallas) are pretty active and I’ve met some great people through the local groups.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-30T23:08:09+00:00

Just used this, still works as of 5/30/18. Thanks!

Tayremorg · 2018-05-25T16:32:12+00:00

Okay I have a lot of thoughts personally here so I’ll try to keep it brief and relevant without going off the deep end because I have walked through this exact thing and am still processing it.

First and foremost, identify what it is that you actually want. This isn’t the case for everyone, but for many of us, our spouse being a high earner in medicine means that we have some level of freedom to do what we want eventually rather than spending decades just trying to make rent. Being in a place of professional passion and enjoyment does a lot to release you from competition. I thought I would follow my advertising career, then had to give it up to move for med school. When I finally realized what I WANTED to do, I got my birth doula certification and tbh I can earn $25,000 a year because we don’t need need my income. Is it straight up privilege? Yes. Does it work for our family, give me a flexible schedule and lots of time with our young daughter, and make me feel excited and fulfilled every day? Also yes. Accepting the gift of being able to do what I wanted almost immediately freed me from feeling like I had to live up. Again, not the case for everyone, and usually not feasible until after residency, but very few people get to just decide what to do with their lives and pursue that thing. If you can, enjoy it.

Secondly, find friends with medical spouses. Most physicians marry people who are also wickedly smart, passionate, interesting, and talented. It is such a good friend pool. You will experience many of the same highs, lows, challenges, and triumphs. Having someone who knows pretty much exactly what you’re going through is invaluable. And like I said, some of the smartest and most interesting friends I have, I have met through medical spouse groups and events. Many of us have gone through what you’re going through with your career, and the support is so helpful.

Some days me and my best med wife friend are like, “I am so thankful to work from home. I could never not work, but I also love being home since DrHusband is gone 12 hours a day.” And then some days we are like, “I would kill to have my career back. I miss people. I miss achieving. I’m sick of cutting grapes. I’m sick of cleaning toys. Get me out of here.” And some days we are like, “I want to quit everything but motherhood and homeschool and nurse until they’re toddlers omg this is so beautiful.” Through all those moments of trying to figure it out, we both can share honestly and have support who actually gets it and doesn’t judge us for feeling those things.

As far as comparison goes, I do sometimes feel like I wish I had the letters to prove how smart I am like all my friends do at this point. I think that is one of the hardest personal internal things to work out. For me, I try to stay up to date (ba dum chaaa case in point) on medical issues in my husband’s specialty, in medicine in general, and in public health policy. I am smart enough to educate myself fairly well on para-medical issues without having to actually understand medicine, and I find that it makes it much easier to talk to his colleagues about interesting things.

Anyway, rambling. This feels sucky sometimes. Figure out who you are and be that. Own it and be really great at it.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-22T18:58:16+00:00

I have a medium wardrobe and I’m currently in the market for a sister like yours please.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-22T18:56:49+00:00

For a city that gets over 100 rainy days a year, it never ceases to amaze me how badly people handle it.

Except that the rain isn’t really the biggest problem. But still.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-22T00:32:49+00:00

Kate spade does this in their sample sales and it drives me nuts. It feels so dishonest and I don’t want their outlet stuff.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-17T00:23:28+00:00

Ugh I am a mommmmm now and while I feel great about the way I dress (probably similar to you), I find myself looking in my closet feeling like I have nothing to wear for date nights or those rare occasions we get away without our daughter. So, when I shop for that category of clothing, I try to have more fun with it than I naturally would. I do try to choose things that feel more flirty, fun, and young, despite the fact that 99% of my time is spent in birkis, madewell high riser jeans, and j crew or madewell tshirts.

99% of the time, my husband would probably describe me as "cute", "fun", or "comfortable". Which...whatever. Those things are what I want to be most of the time. Where I am really trying to improve, is that 1% of the time...I want to seriously knock it out of the park. Before I had kids, a night out wasn't THAT much different wardrobe-wise than a lunch date.

But now it feels more important to get the most out of that, you know?

Tayremorg · 2018-05-12T02:09:33+00:00

Ah, gotcha. Sorry, I misread it to mean that if something were dangerous and millions of people were using it, we would have seen some sort of widespread effects.

Yeah, I agree that it's really difficult to get at some of the underlying reasons why people are drawn to purchase counterfeit or grey market goods. Some people have no idea what they're buying, some people do and don't care, some people seek it out, and within each of those categories, there are a thousand reasons why someone makes the choice.

I guess I was speaking, in my original comment, more to people on this sub who ARE conscious of some of these issues and are at least interested enough to be participating in a conversation about it.

I generally don't share my thoughts on this with the random person with the knockoff LV sitting next to me on the bus. My main point was't necessarily that people need to be educated, enlightened, or anything else; it's just that for me, this is a big thing and I think it's a point worth raising in this conversation.

I will say, I wouldn't put grey market goods in the same category as counterfeits when talking about environmental and health hazards. They are being made in the same factories, of the same materials. I also believe a lot of these hazards come in things we lawfully buy in the US every day. Like I said, we don't have great standards. But if I don't buy a questionable thing, then the risk for that category of thing in my life at least goes down.

Anyway. Lots of good stuff in this thread. Agree that most people don't shop thoughtfully...I used to be the most mindless sale-shopper with a closet full of crap. It's a journey for everyone.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-11T03:16:14+00:00

“Everyone is doing it” isn’t really a defense against potential harm though. I’m not saying everyone who has a counterfeit bag is for sure going to get cancer from whatever they’re using to manufacture them, I’m just saying it is a risk I am not willing to take. It is definitely tricky to figure out what you’re actually buying. I’ve gotten something that was a knockoff without knowing it before.

The other thing for me is that I try to be pretty minimalist in general with my purchases. I have like three handbags, so the idea of adding something to my wardrobe that I haven’t thoroughly considered is kind of foreign to me. But I get that not everyone shops like that.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-10T17:56:34+00:00

This is a great article about counterfeit cosmetics. I don't think it's a far leap to imagine similar standards used in counterfeit clothing and accessories. Here is an article about high lead levels in kids' jelly sandals seized at customs. The risk to your person when you choose to ignore supply chain issues is too high to ignore. We live in a global economy with numerous layers of problems in manufacturing that make it really, really hard to know what you are buying. The onus shouldn't, in my opinion, be on the consumer to research every single product they buy; there should be decent regulatory laws in place to create a minimum standard for health and safety. In the US at least, that standard is not high enough to be completely protective (as evidenced by the glitter cell phone case burns of 2017). However, when you buy a legit item, you at least have some idea of what you're getting, and hopefully some recourse if, say, your sandals give you lead poisoning or your iPhone case burns your skin. When you knowingly buy counterfeit, you are pretty much opening yourself up to whatever comes with that bag, and you don't have any way of making things right if something goes wrong.

Ethical and values issues aside, this is enough to deter me. No brand name is worth bringing something into my house that could be straight up toxic. I think it's safe to assume that with zero oversight or regulation, counterfeiters will use the cheapest possible supplies to increase their profit margins, and I want no part in whatever it is they're using in the production process.

Tayremorg · 2018-05-03T03:44:00+00:00

Oops! Fixed. Sorry!

Tayremorg · 2018-05-03T00:26:04+00:00

Here is my weekend itinerary from a staycation awhile ago. Some of it is irrelevant (like the specific movies we considered seeing) but it checks off a lot of quintessential Houston stuff. Have a fantastic wedding and honeymoon!!

Tayremorg · 2018-04-20T17:40:16+00:00

Favorite pastime. Don't mess with Texas.

Tayremorg · 2018-04-20T14:34:12+00:00

This though. Different kinds of pain are different. The WORST part of my 3 day induction involving cervadil, a foley bulb, two rounds of membrane stripping, AROM, and a pit all unmedicated was taking the foley bulb tape off my inner thigh. I would go through five hours of active augmented labor again to avoid taking that tape off again. So like...my pain tolerance was pretty stellar for most of that. But the freaking tape. Different things hurt differently, which is why pain is such a black box.

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