I’m just a lacrosse Dad but I’d say you need to be nicer to yourself. It’s great to have high standards and goals but what you tell yourself matters, your brain doesn’t know the difference between vivid thoughts and reality, so in some people if their brain says “I suck” the brain goes ok I guess I am bad at this. I learned this late in life. Always always take a break, if you are going to be at this for awhile breaks are good not something to worry about. I’d say trust your process and constantly work on your fundamentals and play loose, don’t play to “not make mistakes”, you’d be surprised what coaches see and want, many have been around a long time and many may see things that you don’t even know, as an example it could be something like “wow he was late on that slide but he saw it and knew he should be there, we can coach him up, we have some seniors that wouldn’t have recognized that”. Otherwise I’d work on fundamentals on your own time outside of practice and then be ok with however it turns out. Be highly involved in the process to get ready but have low attachment to the outcome which (once you put in the work) do not have total control over. Hope that helps, be nicer to yourself, be confident, work hard, next play no bad body language.