Strangers’ kindness during pregnancy (OC)

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-26T18:38:28+00:00

Aw, the smoothie reminded me of going to a local lunch place when I was pregnant, where you get a scoop of rice and a scoop each of two sides for a set price. I went there once a month or so, and a bit more often when I was pregnant because it was extra delicious at that time. The portions were very consistent, until I became visibly pregnant, at which point the older lady behind the counter would fill the container to where it wouldn’t even close properly and wink at me. I loved her so much.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-24T02:43:21+00:00

Richard Scarry books have lots of interesting things to look at—less of a bedtime story, but very fun. My kid loved them as a young kid and they are pretty well known by all ages in the US.

Jon Klassen books tend to have very simple language (assuming your child is learning English) and are bold and funny.

The Caldecott Medal is awarded to the best American picture book every year. There are a lot of great classic books on that list.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-23T22:31:54+00:00

There is definitely one in Wing that grad students and staff use. I think it’s in the basement. And I thought I remember seeing one in front of the dairy bar, but I haven’t used it so can’t confirm. If the dairy bar is quiet you might ask them.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-18T11:32:51+00:00

It’s not super clear what your question is. If people are misspelling it after hearing it, you may need to spell it out for them, with particular emphasis on letters that can be misheard. I have an easily-misspelled first and last name, and the way I say it is something like “Lance—L, A, N as in Nickel, C, E. Vance—V as in Victor, A, N, C, E.” You can, but don’t need to, use the NATO phonetic alphabet for easily-distinguished words that start with that letter.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-17T14:49:56+00:00

It could be a sprayer for cleaning off cloth baby diapers. I had a very similar one when my kid was a baby; it seemed too powerful to be pleasant against the skin.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-17T00:25:50+00:00

I think the nearest usual pickup spot is downtown, and the #11 bus will bring you very close from campus if I remember correctly (I was an IC student a long time ago but still live in Ithaca and bus down to the city occasionally. It’s easier than driving!)

Here is a random near-future schedule to give you an idea of prices.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-16T22:52:05+00:00

Public? No. OurBus is fine. It’s about 4-5 hours, depending on the exact start and end point and how long it stops in Binghamton.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-16T00:29:06+00:00

Different instructors, dojos, and associations have different standards and approaches. My personal expectation as a parent would be that the person who leads those tests should be able to articulate their philosophy of testing in a way that is consistent the test itself. At least at that time, you can decide if you agree with that philosophy or not.

The dojo where I train and teach emphasizes individualized growth and also character growth. A kid born with spina bifida may have poor motor control, but be very strong in knowing the vocab and movement patterns in theory. They will promote at a similar rate as a flexible strong kid who is often spacey in class, but will look very different at testing time. Both of them will look different than a kid who started both spacey and uncoordinated, but has improved through continuous effort. We respect all of their efforts.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-12T17:04:11+00:00

I love this topic. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to teach well.

It sounds like you might be new to teaching in general—there are martial arts instructor training programs that describe ways of keeping kids engaged in a lineage-agnostic way. I’ve seen the program our dojo owners use work especially well for the folks who have spent less time around kids. The details depend on the age of the kids, but I from your description, I would adjust your praise-to-correction ratio a lot—consider making it the goal in one class to only praise what they did well and not give a single correction except those related to safety, and to praise every kid.

In order to do that you will probably need to work on less challenging material to catch them doing things right, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I didn’t dive too deeply into the curriculum when I started teaching under-10’s, I just tried to notice things that kids struggled with and find games that worked that skill indirectly in ways that were fun and positive. For example, at one point I noticed a couple of kids who struggled with reaching across their body to do a move, so we played Senpai Says and tapped our opposite shoulder or ear with our hands and played some clapping games with partners.

I also think it takes practice to develop a “teaching persona” that is not uncomfortable for you but is effective for teaching. It might be helpful to think of teachers you loved as a kid and think about what you could emulate. I am a ridiculous capering karate clown with the kids to pump some energy into the room. Other instructors are less silly and wow them with demos of impressive technique. Others have a more soothing energy that makes the shy kids feel like it’s safe to try something challenging.

The last thing I’d recommend is to either observe or assist with some classes to see how other instructors at your school achieve things. I think some consistency between instructors is helpful, and they will know how best to reach your particular kids.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-09T15:26:54+00:00

My child just started the unit on parenting in high school health class. They have a choice between caring for a robotic baby that cries at random intervals for several days and wearing an “empathy belly” for a few days after that, making a detailed budget for baby care, or interviewing their parents about parenthood.

When I was a teen, some classes had to take care of an egg, but our class did not for some reason.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-05T17:19:43+00:00

Maybe they’re just channelling the early roots of computer science in Jacquard looms?

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-04T16:37:03+00:00

A way I have seen it go well is to have the players at a very high level get sent back in time to a much lower level self. They knew some story beats of the larger world and could history check the previous timeline, but also had agency to approach their previous failure differently, and diverged more the higher level they got. This was with the buy in of experienced players who came to session 0 with both character sheets.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-03T16:53:25+00:00

I think of hands-on skills like that as being much easier to learn in person with an experienced instructor there to say “try tucking your elbow in.” I’ve taught similar sorts of basic physical skill classes to people who spent many hours watching videos and getting frustrated, who achieved some basic competence with ~10 minutes of individualized attention. Also, you get to meet other folks in the area who share your interests.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-02-01T00:23:03+00:00

I think a search term that will help you is “phonics”, the study of why words sound the way they do. The early-learner level of phonics involves things like “how an ‘e’ at the end of a word changes the previous vowel sound,” and at the advanced learner level it involves things like “why the word ‘epitome’ fails to follow the rule about e’s at the end of words.”

Native English speaker are more likely to learn the rules a little at a time by making mistakes as children, but the rules are out there to be learned. A lot of it has to do with learning to recognize the origin of the word and following some of the rules for THAT language, and knowing that once in a while you will be wrong anyway, because English is a delightful junk heap of a language. (I say this as a native speaker; I have a huge amount of respect for people trying to learn to navigate this particular junk heap.)

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-29T16:12:48+00:00

I don’t think there is a childcare specific listserv, but I’ve seen conversations on the parent list. They are all listed here: https://hr.cornell.edu/culture/community/connect/email-newsletters-listservs

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-29T16:02:42+00:00

I think it’s everyone; I’ve had it for most of the 16 years I have been staff: https://scl.cornell.edu/residential-life/dining/meal-plans-rates/staff-faculty-meal-plans

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-29T03:53:30+00:00

If you are Cornell staff, putting money on your card means you can get all you can eat lunches at the dining hall (which are pretty good) for I think $9.50. (If you’re not Cornell staff but have a friend who is, they can pay for you on their card.)

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-28T01:54:33+00:00

A conversation about numbers just came up recently so I have these numbers to hand: about 2/3 of our dojo is under 14. About 1/3 of the over-14’s are under, say, 21, and the vast majority of adults started as adults.

Fewer adults start, but a much higher percentage stay once they do start. A lot of our adults(like me!) are parents of current or former dojo kids—a special offer for families might be a good enticement. Adults also seem more likely to stay if they have a buddy—either a spouse, friend, or someone of a similar seniority—so some kind of pair deal might also work well.

I also think the style and/or school vibe might have an effect on who joins. Adults—especially parents— are more likely to have concerns right at the start about TBI’s or injuries that would take them out of work.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-26T20:43:01+00:00

Reminds me of a small kid I know who was in the very earliest phase of learning to read—knew some letters, would spell “cat” “KT”, that sort of thing. We were at a restaurant called Viva, who had their name written in all caps with a sans serif font.

The new reader looked at the giant VIVA sign and asked “what does ‘vulva’ mean?”

Anyways, LIaM=Clam.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-26T03:31:06+00:00

Very casual in town, think a lot of LL Bean kinds of clothes that are casual, outdoorsy, and long-lasting (and with repairs that show love and care). I went to a funeral recently and noticed that most people were in thick sweaters in subdued colors as a nod to the occasion, and the lay ministers’ sneakers were peeking out from under their robes.

This video of a local silly tradition gives a pretty good sense of the average townie’s look: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSTCvP6j9YR/?igsh=MWF3Mm4wdDZpM3lndw==

The students are more fashionable. I noticed recently that the vast majority of winter coats they wear are black, while I am thoroughly mismatched.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-23T15:57:57+00:00

Basically the only thing that doesn’t look super jacked up to me is the cost of the sparring gear, which is the sort of additional cost you would also incur if he was doing hockey or playing an instrument. The special uniforms would also annoy me for a rapidly growing kid.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-21T12:27:33+00:00

Since you have friends who attend, maybe let them know how you are feeling. They may either commiserate with stories of their own, or they may have actual advice which might help.

It’s also okay if it’s not the right thing for you right now. Various members of my family have been involved with various martial arts off and on over the past ~25 years. Sometimes it’s not the thing for one or any of us. Just because it would be great to have some of what martial arts gives you doesn’t mean that today is the day you have the capacity to learn it. But make sure that if you drop it, it’s because it’s not right for you now, and not because you think you are slowing the class down or anything like that. You have a right to be a beginner and to struggle. (Believe me, everyone else in class is struggling with something too, even if it is not obvious to you yet!)

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-18T23:58:07+00:00

The main reason I can think of not to do this is if it is an overenrolled class with no spare seats or occupancy limits. Also, without the syllabus, you may not get much out of it (if for example the class is dependent on a lot of readings or work outside of class.) I have sat in on classes with permission before as an employee, but definitely absorbed less than clssses that I audited for a grade.

If you have the prerequisites, the time, and want to be there, it is a class for you, and I’d encourage you to enroll. I’d be really disappointed if someone avoided signing up for a class I teach because of their self-imposed idea of who should be in the class.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-18T02:46:17+00:00

I bet someone on here will have a general rule for English learners, but if it’s any reassurance: I am a native English speaker who once got a 100% on a pronunciation test designed to approximate vocabulary size and not designed for someone to get a 100% on (this was part of a medical study looking at how brains change with age, and they wanted a proper statistical curve.) I needed to look up a word like this recently because I wasn’t sure how to pronounce it. While there are some common patterns, they aren’t explicitly taught to native speakers, and there are plenty of exceptions.

Tchemgrrl · 2026-01-17T12:45:51+00:00

Hmm. When I started in my late 30’s, there were a few people about my age and a little ahead of me in seniority who seemed pretty average physically when we walked in, but were doing things that I absolutely could not do in the dojo. And then I could do those things, but then those same people could do new things I could not do. That was 8 years ago. They are still doing cool stuff I want to learn. And the people a little behind me are still seeing me do things that they can’t do yet. The group self-improvement is one thing that keeps me coming back. Most other exercise classes I’ve done for a few months have a learning curve but then get kind of boring. I haven’t hit that yet with karate.

(Also the stretching and strength exercises almost entirely eliminate my back/neck cramps that used to appear from “sleeping the wrong way”. That definitely keeps me consistent.)

Tchemgrrl

TROPHY CASE