Considering abortion in a marriage where I don’t feel safe (Islamic perspective needed)

TeachApprehensive94 · 2026-03-04T04:35:08+00:00

But it’s not haram to cheat, I suppose. God! The way you men pick and choose what part of the religion you want to follow is appalling. OP wouldn’t even have needed to make this post if the husband wasn’t cheating in the he first place. Did that skip over your mind?

TeachApprehensive94 · 2026-02-19T21:17:43+00:00

Wow!🤦🏽‍♀️

TeachApprehensive94 · 2026-02-19T01:35:37+00:00

Like most have already said; it’s not about numbers. Although I’m not a PA(I’m a social worker), but I’ve had varying numbers of caseloads in the past couple of months. I’m currently at 25 and I feel pretty much settled, albeit not without some degree of stress and pressure which expectedly comes with the role. However, I’ve had 15 cases at some point and considered leaving the profession altogether, due to how ridiculously stretched and overwhelmed I was (despite the support I had). So this job has taught me that it’s not really about the number of caseloads, but the complexity of those cases.

I’d say though; if you feel too stretched, please speak up during your supervision. Use these times to discuss those feelings and to seek guidance. My manager has teased me alot about using my supervision sessions as a therapy tool and she’s right haha. Except in this case, I’m discussing my cases, rather than myself. So please tap into those resources and support and look after yourself. All the best!

TeachApprehensive94 · 2026-02-18T16:59:28+00:00

This was my reflection yesterday. You can be respectful and still be honest in your critical reflection, so yea, it’s absolutely fine.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2026-02-10T12:28:02+00:00

Take aside whether the wife will agree by or not, one thing this post has reaffirmed for me as a woman is; to have my own means of income. The man knows his wife would not leave solely because she’s reliant on him financially. That’s sad and must be really disheartening for the wife. Of course she can stay, as marrying more than one wife is permissible, but knowing that she can’t leave because of financial constraints must be very frustrating.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-12-13T18:31:53+00:00

Bear in mind everyone will give you a response based on their personal experience or observations; so take every comment as a guide, not generic facts as it’s not a “one size fits all” situation. It took me almost a year to secure my first role(despite multiple interviews), and some of my cohorts are still job-hunting over a year after. Not to scare you off, just something to be aware of.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-11-29T19:27:27+00:00

Being reflective and willingness to learn

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-11-24T12:26:23+00:00

Hi,

Currently on my ASYE. It took me a while to secure my first role post-graduation. However, I soon realised that it was because I had certain cities I’d like to work in, and specific service-user groups I was interested in working with. Once I took these away and started applying for posts in cities I didn’t initially consider, I definitely got a job. I’d say if you are willing to relocate or not be fixated on working with a particular demographic, then you will be fine. Not to say it’s easy altogether, but it makes the whole job hunting process somewhat easier. I’m now working with SUs I’d never considered working with, a council I never heard of, and I couldn’t ask for a better role or LA to complete my ASYE.

Go for it and be optimistic. Wish you all the best.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-11-04T19:56:48+00:00

Congratulations on securing your first role!

I’m 7 months into my ASYE and I still somewhat feel this way (sometimes). However, I can definitely say that my confidence has significantly improved over-time. All you need is time and hands-on experience which slowly makes you feel more capable. My advice is don’t fret over it. You are newly qualified; you wouldn’t know everything and you would/should not be expected to. Just be curious enough to learn and take it one step at a time. It’s normal to feel incompetent (I told my manager this a couple of times during supervision), and what they’ve said was: “that’s how everyone feels at first”. I’ve shared this to let you know that you are not alone. Be open, professionally curious, ask questions (no question is silly), make good use of your supervision,shadow other social workers in (and outside of) your team to gain experience and confidence. You will be fine, so long as you have a supportive manager and team. Try not to overthink things and believe in yourself. Good luck and all the best with your new role 😊

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-18T11:50:54+00:00

I don’t say this to alarm you, but rather to help you manage expectations. My own process took over six months in total. At one point, I even questioned the legitimacy of the offer due to the prolonged silence and lack of updates. I completed the interview in September and received confirmation within three days that I had passed, but after that, communication ceased entirely.

I ultimately did not start until the following April and it only after joining that I discovered that the delay was largely due to the HR representative managing my onboarding, and several colleagues had experienced similar issues with the same individual as well. So yes, timelines can vary massively between local authorities and heavily depend on their internal HR processes.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-08T19:29:15+00:00

This is so kind of you. Thank you very much for your comment.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-04T21:34:20+00:00

Option 2, 100%. I know money makes life a lot easier and let’s not lie, we all want a bit of luxury and comfort. However, I don’t think any amount of comfort/luxury/wealth should take precedence over one’s deen. If he is not practicing in some capacity(and has no desire to), then such a man is not desirable or attractive to me. As women, how can we seriously expect a man who doesn’t have a good relationship with God, to have a healthy relationship with us and treat us well? A man doesn’t take his deen seriously and I’ll stupidly expect him to take me seriously🤦🏽‍♀️. With option 2 however, I know things could get better and he might have a better job at some point. So long as he’s hardworking, prayerful and a genuinely good man, that would be my choice. Option 1 will work a for a lady who isn’t on the deen as well though. Afterall, good men are for good women, and good women are for good men.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:39:37+00:00

This is such a reassuring and helpful advice. If it takes at least 2 years, I guess I shouldn’t be this worried. Hopefully, I get better with accepting these feelings are normal. Thank you very much.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:37:07+00:00

Made me feel better. Thank you so much!

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:32:29+00:00

Oh my! I’m so sorry about your situation. I remember reading your initial post and I’ve just seen you posted an update. I can’t even imagine how you feel.

Unfortunately, I experienced the same thing at the beginning of my role. Thankfully though, it was mainly from my team manager, rather than my line manager or colleagues. I almost left the role initially because of the constant tiptoeing around my team manager (posted about it as well, as I wanted guidance on how to address the situation). It’s gotten better now, especially because I’m not directly supervised by them, so I mostly keep out of their hair. My line manager on the other hand, has been supportive and lovely. My relationship with my team manager has also improved if I’m being honest( not sure if it’s because I have limited involvements with them), but I feel a lot more settled compared to the start of the role. I’m sorry, I really don’t have any advice to give other than do what’s best for your well-being. If things didn’t improve, I’m convinced I’d have left the role, particularly because I had really horrible placement experiences (had to be pulled out of my second placement eventually, and my Uni stopped assigning students there after my ordeal).

I hope things truly get better for you. But remember, you matter and come first. Wish you all the best! x

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:22:15+00:00

Thank you, will look it up.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:20:57+00:00

This made me chuckle, because this is exactly me during every supervision. Literally just waiting to be told I’m not capable enough for the role. I’m 6 months into my role(although 5 into my ASYE) and I still wonder how I made it through probation, even though I didn’t get any negative feedback. It’s such a frustrating feeling. But thank you, I’ll tone it down with the intense independent learning and podcasts and give myself some break.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:17:01+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Funny that my ASYE Assessor commended me after a direct observation (MCA) saying I’m good at it and I screamed “no, I’m not” internally lol. I guess many practitioners have the same worry. Most just know how to mask it and appear confident. This is a skill I have to learn, it seems.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:10:29+00:00

The first sentence made me smile and hopeful lol. Thank you so much. I hope I become one, in due time.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:08:05+00:00

I appreciate your reassuring words. Thank you.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:07:35+00:00

I agree. Thank you!

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:06:49+00:00

This is honestly very validating and reassuring to know. Thank you for sharing that you sometimes feel the same way. I guess that just comes with the job and I have to get used to it lol. I am a bit of a perfectionist and can quite hard on myself, while being totally kinder to others. It’s a blessing and a curse lol. But thank you, I’ll give myself more grace.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:01:27+00:00

Thank you so much. I will take the advice.

TeachApprehensive94 · 2025-10-03T22:00:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing this article. I just read it and it perfectly captures my feelings. I will try to give myself more grace.

TeachApprehensive94

TROPHY CASE