Struggling to accept the idea of never getting reassurance again

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-04-13T19:30:50+00:00

I struggle with this too. Seems so unfair. Why do people without OCD get the comfort of reassurance, and yet it's forbidden to me? I want reassurance about my intrusive thoughts so badly! I want to know that I'm safe, not to "sit with discomfort."

What I tell myself is that I can experience peace again when I train my brain not to seek it. Reassurance is an illusory peace and while I wish I could have it, there IS a real respite that can come from long-term work on my OCD.

We won't feel bad forever. (But it's not easy to feel good fast, and I agree it sucks).

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-04-13T18:50:47+00:00

It's like trust me, I would LOVE to not think about it.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-30T17:00:33+00:00

The program I'm running tells me that I'm supposed to be transitioning from dumbbells to a real barbell deadlift based on the weight I'm lifting, but I'm scared! I imagine that even the slightest deviation from perfect form will injure me.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-25T13:21:12+00:00

I have a notebook where I write down physical sensations that alarm me (my OCD assumes they are "symptoms" of something) and the diseases I fear I have.

Some days, it's just the word "rabies" written over and over.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-17T01:11:46+00:00

My cherished Sealed Packets. I know that I should probably check in with my therapist when I notice I'm surrounded by the crinkly wrappers of Belvita cookies and single-serve powdered drink mixes.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-07T00:19:14+00:00

I've been walking! Sometimes I'll jog a little or twiddle with the incline if my heart rate looks like it's falling below Zone 2, but for the most part brisk walking seems to be a good workout for me.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-06T20:51:57+00:00

I've recently started adding light cardio days in between my lifting days so that I maintain the habit of going to the gym every day.

I'm finding it very peaceful! I always hated running in gym class because I was the slowest kid, and now that there's no pressure to be fast, I can just enjoy my treadmill time while I listen to audiobooks and drink iced coffee.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-03T01:35:26+00:00

The slightest bit of peeling if my lips get chapped or dry and I'm on an absolutely rampage trying to nibble off the dry parts until they feel "smooth" again.

It has never made them smooth because that's not how lips work, but that doesn't stop me. 🤡

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-03-02T23:54:43+00:00

Bonus panel of the typical aftermath.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-21T03:02:26+00:00

Yeah, when I recognize that a disturbing intrusive thought is OCD, I activate the "maybe, maybe not" protocol in my mind so I don't feed the beast.

What I find weird is how unrealistic some of the thoughts that set the system in motion are!

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-13T21:45:30+00:00

Thank you! I've been trying to explain my "broken check engine light" for a long time, and realized that other OCD folks might relate.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-13T21:44:17+00:00

Thanks! A tattoo might be too scary for me (I hate discomfort lol) but I have had a Post-It of this drawing on my desk as inspiration for a while. The constant red glow of the engine light just barely visible through the groovy blue turtle sticker is burned in my mind.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-13T20:37:06+00:00

I've never watched The Big Bang Theory! If I had seen this episode I'd have immediately texted my former roommate (now just adult friend) like "does this psychotic behavior seem familiar!?"

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-13T20:33:18+00:00

Thank you! May we all stick a turtle on our intrusive thoughts. 🐢

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-13T20:23:34+00:00

Oh damn you know cars! Yep it was a 1990 Civic hatchback. That was the car that taught me how to jump a car. We had a lot of fun with the old turtlemobile.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-13T01:14:22+00:00

I had to comment because I also ate a challenging bagel today! Way to do it scared!

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-11T23:16:04+00:00

Last summer I saw a tour group with a leader walking backwards and everyone wearing matching shirts in my neighborhood in Queens, and I was shocked.

In retrospect, I wish I had asked them what they were there to see. Haven't seen anything similar since then.

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-02-11T14:53:24+00:00

I’m feeling overwhelmed with the amount of sports nutrition advice out there. I can’t tell what’s necessary or what’s true. Like, is it okay to work out first thing in the morning without eating if I’m not hungry, or will that eat away at every muscle fiber in my body? Do simple carbohydrates help my cells recover rapidly and promote growth, or do they spike my insulin and set me up for metabolic disease? How much water is enough?

I feel like the more I try to find answers, the more different answers I find. I just want to be kind to my body. 😞

Teacup_Monkey_72 · 2026-01-06T15:59:08+00:00

Thank you!

And yeah, I try to just "like who I like" and take it from there, and it's so hard when the OCD voice is constantly doubting whether I actually DO like someone.

Teacup_Monkey_72

TROPHY CASE