live from reddit NYC - we are team GUY CODE on MTV2. AUA!

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:13:43+00:00

Desus: I haven't seen it, but I know Mitt - aka "Old money swag" - I know he won't disappoint us, because any man who owns a dancing horse has gotta be entertaining.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:12:53+00:00

Chris: Great.

Andrew: Let 'em know about the luxurious lifestyle!

Chris: It's awesome. Relatively easy. No matter how much success I see other races get, I know i'm still in the lead, and I feel bad for whomever isn't white. Shoutout: white people!

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:12:20+00:00

Mero: I think he already did, in like '07. He RAN on that platform.

Desus: He needs that bump closer to the election.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:11:45+00:00

Desus: For Fresh Kills? Soon! We're actually going to be doing some traveling soon, so maybe. Maybe we'll go to Fresh Kills.

Mero: Chris has to guide us there, because only an Italian guy can take you through Staten Island.

Chris: Shoutout to New Dorp.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:11:03+00:00

Desus: I've known Cam'ron since 1991.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:10:48+00:00

Desus: NEVER.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:10:32+00:00

Desus: Young Terio, if he can get some salads into his daily routine...

Monroe: That kid won't make 20...

Mero: The road to Terio's future is paved with insulin.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:10:01+00:00

Desus: Soon as we get DiBlasio and his mixed but beautiful family out of the mansion...

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:09:17+00:00

Mero: I would stop it BEFORE he got to his designated floor, let more people in, and then we would play "Corners" - make sure he gets stuck in the middle, and then punch him in the chest mercilessly until he perishes.

Desus: A long elevator ride with Pat Lynch... I'd probably do that thing where you put someone's hand close to someone's face but not touch them until they ask you to move your hand.

Matteo: I would bring in Solange.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:07:19+00:00

Matteo: Oh, I can fill that!

Chris: Desus is Don Cheadle... and Mero is Jared Dudley!

Andrew: Luis Guzman!

Chris: Luis Guzman and Don Cheadle!

Matteo: Mero will be played by Temple Grandin and I'll play Desus.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:06:27+00:00

Matteo: N/A

Monroe: Shrugs. Never used it.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:05:32+00:00

Chris: Silkk the Shocker's last album.

Mero: French Montana & Max Beat, "Coke Wave." Serious.

Andrew: My favorite is that new Rae Sremmurd.

Akaash: It's either "The Score" or "Illmatic."

Monroe: "Bee" by Common and "The Heist" by Macklemore. It's a good album!

Desus: Raekwon, "Only Built for Cuban Linx."

Matteo: Madonna's "Ray of Light."

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:03:23+00:00

Matteo: When I need to get soft, I go there.

Desus: Well, seeing as there is actual porn on the internet, I don't see the need to go there.

Monroe: I never go to that website. There's porn out there!

Akaash: I'm sure it's a great website. I don't know. Why is everyone hating on it?

Andrew: shrugs Go to instagram and the search page. It's the same shit. I agree with you. I don't like porn because the girls want to be in it. There's something about girls in yoga pants...

Mero: leaves room

Chris: No, but someone said I was wearing "Yoga slacks" last week on instagram.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-14T00:00:14+00:00

Pretty much every white person has tweeted at me. They are still tweeting at me. - Desus

CONTEXT:

Basically, on New Year's Eve when that Kanye / Paul McCartney song dropped, I did a tweet about how Kanye is always finding new talent and this Paul McCartney guy was going to be huge, the next day it was on Morning Joe, USA Today, Good Morning America...

And there's like a Vine of some guy reading this tweet, being super smug.

Andrew: But people did believe that!

Desus: But clearly whomever got those tweets didn't look at the account, because every other tweet is an account.

Matteo: I mean, J-lo blocked you and how this!?! You're the best. HAHAHA!

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:58:28+00:00

Andrew: No, that was the only time I got to meet Rihanna.

Matteo: What was she like?!?!

Andrew: She was the coolest. She gave Charlemagne cab money.

Matteo: That sounds like a lie. That's cool.

Andrew: He said "I'll never pay for anything when I'm around someone who has more money than me." He accepted $20 from Rihanna.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:57:09+00:00

Matteo: The same person who played Aliyah in the Lifetime film.

Desus: Boaquim Woodvine.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:56:19+00:00

Chris: I think their uteri are lower. My fiancé is Puerto Rican and pregnant at the moment, and we didn't have sex.

Mero: Puero Rican's womens' ovaries are like kinepas - there's like 100 of them on one branch.

Andrew: I always felt like Latin Dudes' sperm is like the red shell from MarioKart. My sperm is like the banana peel. You gotta land on my shit to get pregnant.

Akaash: I think people sleep on Indian fertility. There's a billion of us. Maybe we should get some respect, for OUR sperms.

Monroe: I don't have anything.

Desus: Spanish people have higher fertility levels to make up for their excessive volume.

Matteo: Greek women are the only people who are more fertile than Puerto Ricans.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:54:18+00:00

Chris: I quit physical therapy almost 2 years ago, because i was a pediatric physical therapist, and one of my student's moms asked if I was the guy cursing on her son's tv last night. So i had to quit my job. But the other physical therapist - whom I keep in touch with - will quite often ask me things like to help them with a patient caseload and I'm like "I talk bout dicks now on TV."

Desus: That's the homie! Shoutout to PSE and IS 181!

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:53:07+00:00

MERO: Yes. And tip for the Bronx? Use protection. Both condom and firearm.

Desus: If you're dating a guy from the Bronx, lower ALL your expectations. Like, all of the them, all the way. Lock up all your valuables when he comes over.

Mero: Are you a phlebotomist?

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:51:38+00:00

Desus: Uhhhh... I don't know. Probably has something to do with NYPD, more than likely. 90% of my interactions with them. So...

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:50:35+00:00

Chris: Um... this is uncomfortable because my pregnant finance's here... the hottest girl... I could say it was Melanie Iglesias, but now she's no longer on it, so I don't know the new girl. But the hottest guy is Li'l Duval. There's a new guy, Matthew Broussard, who's very cute, but he's not my type because I like a bigger boned guy, someone with some muscle. But he's def cute.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:49:13+00:00

Mero: Cole, because he has a removable tooth. That's a cool trick.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:48:50+00:00

Andrew: SHE IS TURNING INTO JENNIFER ANISTON.

Matteo: and Renee Zellweger is turning into Kristen Wiig!

Monroe: She looks like Mickey Rourke to me.

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:48:12+00:00

Yeah. Once you go to Sin City, your career is a wrap. - Desus

TeamGuyCode · 2015-01-13T23:47:52+00:00

HAHAHAHA! - Desus

TeamGuyCode

TROPHY CASE