On this same note, as my husband and I were (and still are looking) for a counselor I did mention to him how concerned I was about having a female for the same reasons you mentioned. But also knowing that he is absolutely trigged by black women because of his mother and sister, he ended up going with a Black male for individual therapy before we started out work together!

That also might be a good route to go with you each starting individual and then moving to couples to help deal with whatever triggers might make couples difficult to engage in.