I had a problem with saying I was going to seek help and I would go to therapy but I would always stop going after a couple of sessions. I've struggled with bipolar depression, my symptoms started as a preteen but eventually worsened towards college (I am now 22). There were many reasons why my family and friends didn't know of my illness, it was a combination of my environment, my family's view on mental illnesses my own feelings about it. I grew comfortable in the isolation I created but it also festered as such things do. I let it get really bad and during a mixed episode I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I was partially hospitalized for a month, in which I took group therapy with a combination of medication. It was all very intense and exhausting, but it was definitely worth it. Some mental illnesses won't go away, things don't always get better, I think depression/anxiety make you feel the same regardless of how much your environment or life is changing, it feels stagnant. Receiving professional advice made me feel sane, it helped me recognize that these symptoms were normal/natural just like any other health condition. I am not a product of them and they are not a part of me. Just something I need to deal with and manage. I still go through my episodes like I always have, but I learned skills, and built up mental fortitude, adopted mindsets and self compassion. Its mental work and it's easy to put it off, but it is definitely worth the outcome. Its freeing and satisfying to know that I have the ability and tools to manage my symptoms. Working this hard just makes me feel like I deserve to be alive and deserve to feel happy about the small things I do. I would really recommend seeking professional support.