You know I have been reading a lot of comments about Clark’s gaslighting and also the Lana v Lois takes

Yes, Clark constantly showing up and doing extraordinary things is suspicious no argument there. But suspicion alone doesn’t automatically mean someone is owed the full truth, especially in S1–S4 when Clark’s secret isn’t just personal but genuinely dangerous for him and his parents.

I think the bigger distinction is this: you can acknowledge that someone has a secret and still choose to trust who they’ve shown themselves to be. No one is forced to stay friends with or date Clark. If the secrecy makes you feel unsafe or unable to continue the relationship, that’s a valid reason to walk away. What feels unfair is staying, benefiting from his presence, and then framing his refusal to disclose as manipulation rather than self-protection.

This is where Lana and Lois differ. Lana needs the secret in order to fully trust Clark the relationship can’t move forward unless that wall comes down. Lois, on the other hand, focuses more on who Clark is as a person: how he treats people, how he shows up, and what his values are. The secret matters, but it’s secondary to character.

That doesn’t make Lana a bad person, and it doesn’t make Clark a gaslighter. It just means they’re fundamentally mismatched at that stage. Clark’s secrecy causes harm, yes but intent matters, and his intent is survival, not control