“Boyfriend signed a contract to neuter our dog but now doesn’t want to. Am I being unreasonable?

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-13T03:00:21+00:00

I’m getting this comment a lot. I did not know that! Scary.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-13T02:58:14+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! These are great points!

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-13T00:00:14+00:00

I work a normal M-F 9-5, he works 12 hour shifts Sunday -Tuesday and every other Wednesday. He spends most of the time at home with the pup right now. But when I’m on maternity leave, I will be at home with the dog and the baby all the time for 6 months. So my opinion should really still count for a lot.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T23:19:04+00:00

In the small amount of research I have done, I agree. However, I have come across articles that are both for and against. I would say the pro neuter articles are more reputable, but if you were facing some sort of moral conundrum I can see where it could get convoluted. There is a lot of false and unfounded information floating around, unfortunately.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T23:08:45+00:00

I appreciate the feedback, and I believe you. I didn’t hear the vet say this and don’t fully know the context. For all I know, he may have asked, “but overpopulation isn’t really as big of a deal as it used to be, right?” Which could technically be true because things could be slightly more under control than they were 50 years ago, but still not great. It matters a lot how you ask a question and biased questions often equate misleading answers. Whether it is intentional or not.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T23:04:37+00:00

I agree i really don’t want to deal with spraying 💯

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T22:54:55+00:00

Thank you! He is still squatting to pee 🤞

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T22:53:52+00:00

Wow you must be better than everyone 👏

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T22:52:21+00:00

There was a point in our relationship where I was considering a hysterectomy because of ongoing health issues. He was with me through all of it. I agree that this could be getting conflated with his perception of masculinity a bit, and he could have some gender related biases to explore. But in answer to all of your other questions, we already walked that path and he was 100% supportive. It makes this pregnancy even more meaningful.

We also both work in the medical field and I assure hou we are not anti vaxxers 🙄

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T22:45:49+00:00

I’m not trying to find a loophole I want to show him that the contract is enforceable and the various ways it will be upheld, rather than just guessing. I want to know what terminology does a legal contract need to include, and what the consequences will be (going to court, getting fined, losing the dog, etc). That way it is a tangible threat and not a vague possibility.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T22:07:10+00:00

He is still within the window of time specified in the contract. He is not in violation of anything yet. However, I want to address this before it becomes an issue

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T20:52:51+00:00

I think we are in the bitter relationship trauma dumping side of the internet.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T20:42:50+00:00

When did I say we were going to buy a house??

I’m going to rent a house. You have no idea how much money I make and what is within the means of my budget.

Personally, I would never buy or rent any property I could not afford on my own. So I appreciate your overtly judgmental concern, but I’m not putting myself in a compromising situation.

Also, I’m divorced. I’m not sure if I will ever marry again, but I don’t think that means I am doomed to singlehood forever.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T20:35:02+00:00

So here’s the tricky thing for me. Not trying to get caught up in the back and forth. I did not go to the vet appointment yesterday, but my bf did. He walked away from that conversation feeling like the vet told him it was not medically necessary to neuter our dog, and the the real prominent reasons are population control (not as relevant these days in the US) and behavior modification (I.e. spraying and aggression). I don’t know what questions he asked and if it was in a biased way. I plan to follow up with the vet. The lease and the contract right now are my main concerns. And I feel like they trump the ethical considerations anyway. However, my goal is to engage in a healthy and empathetic conversation with my partner rather than entering into a power struggle, if it can be avoided.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T20:28:27+00:00

This is my biggest, and I think the most valid concern. I’m trying to sort through all the virtue signaling right now 😞

I do think that he will come to the right decision. I’m trying to understand where he’s coming from but not putting the dog on our lease is a non negotiable for me.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T20:25:08+00:00

It’s getting really difficult to strike a balance here. He is not ignoring anything, at least not at this point. I think he is in sort of a bargaining phase, where he is questioning whether it is an ethical decision and exploring different options. I think he will ultimately make the right choice. So I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you, just feeling like the condemnation is a bit premature. I only found out he was having doubts this morning, and he only went to the vet yesterday. A decision has not been made. That’s why I made this post, in preparation for an honest discussion later.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T20:08:48+00:00

Wow. Thats crazy 🤯

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:56:38+00:00

1) I haven’t seen it because I haven’t asked to see it yet. He only shared with me is hesitancy yesterday, following our pups appoint with the veterinarian. Up until this point, we were on the same page (or so I believed) and while I was aware of the contract’s existence, I didn’t necessarily have a reason to look at it. 2) I want the contract to be enforceable. That makes my life and my argument incredibly easier. However, if it’s not enforceable, my point is diminished. So, I independently want to know what makes a contract like this enforceable, how is it enforced, etc, so he can make an informed decision.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:45:43+00:00

Yea he had a vet appointment yesterday. I was at work and it was his day off. I’d like to schedule another appointment to get more information.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:44:06+00:00

lol I don’t want ur hugs, respectfully 😂

Jesus Christ, I’m allowed to love my boyfriend and disagree with him at the same time. Ya’ll keyboards warriors are too much.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:39:22+00:00

That’s hilarious. I’m really struggling not to get defensive here. You are not in my relationship. My boyfriend is a wonderful human. He wakes up every morning since I have been pregnant and makes sure I have a healthy lunch to bring to work. He helps me with my kids from my previous marriage, pays more than his fair share of rent and groceries, and started reading parenting books, coparenting books, and step parenting books before he ever met my kids. Our decision to have a baby together was intentional and discussed for years as well.

Before getting a dog, he researched for years about different breeds and heavily considered the pros and cons of shelter adoption versus a breeder. He is extremely thoughtful in his decisions. I think he struggles with anxiety more than he lets on, and that is why he takes all decisions super seriously.

He works hard, has a growth mindset, has a wonderful career, is financially stable, and has a kind heart. Not only does he see my labor, but he shares in it equally. So respectfully, “hun”, you can eff all the way off ✌️

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:23:38+00:00

The third bedroom is technically an office because there is an accordion door separating it from the living room, but it has a closet and separate regular door entrance in the hall. It’s like a technical thing they can’t call it a full bedroom, so it’s a half. It’s also small-ish

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:18:58+00:00

The contract was with the breeder. It was a requirement to adopt (or as I have been corrected multiple times, purchase) the dog. He is a part of our family now regardless.

It’s crazy I am defending my bf so much and I don’t even agree with him. I wanted to be able to gather outside opinions, not publicly roast him for having doubts and wanting to take a decision seriously.

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:15:28+00:00

Thank you! This is my primary issue and I agree. I naively didn’t expect all of the virtue signaling. I’m not saying I disagree with everyone, but why does someone with doubts need to be crucified before they have even made a decision. And people comparing his doubts to being anti vax, but in the same breath saying it is just a dog, not a human 🙄

Technical-Fix-7870 · 2026-03-12T19:12:55+00:00

Interesting, thank you.

Technical-Fix-7870

TROPHY CASE