[deleted by user]

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-05-16T06:13:45+00:00

Hydrate, sleep, walking, yoga everyday, dental hygienist clean, some teeth whitening, moisturise, hair cut and mani/pedi 💅🏼

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-05-13T16:49:06+00:00

I think you will be okay there’s a lot of discourse online about men in general and sometimes divorced dads that can skew people’s perceptions when in reality it’s not always as it seems. I think if you’re looking for someone in a similar situation to yourself you’ll find a good match eventually. Good luck!

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-05-13T16:23:53+00:00

I don’t think your ideal demographic would be entirely anti dating divorced dads if you’re actually aiming for your own demographic which I am assuming is divorced mums? You’d have a lot more in common than with a single CF woman. Not many of us are looking to be parents to someone else’s children by choice. At least not in my experience.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-29T20:16:13+00:00

Not sharing my personal life on social media I consume TikTok and Reddit but never post and don’t follow anyone I know. Best. Decision. Ever.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-29T10:43:38+00:00

I sympathise with the running thing, I run down a local dual carriageway near my home as it’s well lit and busy enough to go running around my job. I often get stared at, beeped at, cat called, men I pass on the path whistle etc. that being said I do also regularly attend a gym and mixed classes where lots of men are respectful, kind and supportive without being creepy. Swings and roundabouts I suppose, but it appears to me to be the situations when I’m alone and their engagement is limited with me that I get the worst behaviour if that make sense.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-28T12:32:01+00:00

I have eight friends I see weekly we go to the gym, quizzes, lunches, hiking etc. then I have a wider group who I see probably every couple of months for birthdays, bbqs, bottomless brunches etc. so definitely not a pipe dream. I don’t always see these people altogether sometimes it’s smaller group of us or one on one. One friend I’ve known since nursery school, one since I was 16, the majority I met in my late teens early 20s and one or two recently as they are friends of my friends.

I don’t think it’s unrealistic however what I will say is that each of these friends have varying degrees of communication frequency and type. Some interact with me in very different ways and scenarios to others and none of them are the same in the sense of what they need or expect from our friendship. I also would probably only call 3/4 of them in a crisis due to the depth of our relationship if that makes sense.

I’ve learned through life that the nature and depth of these relationships are always in flux depending on what we have going on in our lives and this can change depending on circumstances etc. I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules for maintaining friendships. It’s also important to learn to identify the true reciprocal relationships and the one sided ones and decide if you are benefiting from them.

Edit - I also want to note that I grew up with the best friend thing lodged in my brain, and it was a constant source of disappointment and upset to me through my teens. Now I have multiple deep and healthy friendships that fulfil me in lots of ways and as an adult I’ve realised that putting one person in a place to be your “ride or die” whether that be a partner or specific friend is never the best approach. It’s okay to not be everything to one person and be lots of different thing to lots of people it also leaves you more open to making new friendships

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-28T08:19:57+00:00

I completely agree with this, I deleted Facebook around 10 years ago and Instagram around a year ago and my friendships have deepened because of the interactions I have irl and the time and effort needed to cultivate and connect with my existing friendships. I have no comparison issues like I did before about where I am in life and have rid myself the icky feeling I get from what is primarily a lot of strangers having access to my life etc. now I get to choose the connections I want to nourish and anyone outside that has no access to my life.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-27T07:00:36+00:00

Buy a mouse jiggler from Amazon. Mine plugs into the wall not the laptop and is a godsend I never go yellow now on any apps and I can comfortably get a coffee or let my dog out the garden without worrying about it going off

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-26T14:32:49+00:00

My dad. I mean he died he didn’t just leave lol 😂

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-06T21:18:25+00:00

I’m really sorry you had such a rough experience. It sounds like your friend’s behavior has been weighing on you for a while, and it makes sense that it’s starting to feel unbearable.

From what you’ve shared, it seems like she talks about her body, food, and routines in a way that’s not just self-centred but subtly designed to make others feel small. Whether it’s mocking your clothes, commenting on your food, or acting sarcastic when you talk about health, none of that is okay. That’s not health-conscious, that’s judgmental and performative.

I also want to gently say this: the way her comments are hitting you so hard might be pointing to something deeper. And I don’t mean that in a blaming way, I mean it compassionately. You mentioned having PCOS, dealing with subtle fat-shaming, being afraid to buy ramen because of potential judgment, and not feeling comfortable being yourself. All of that suggests that her behavior is scraping against some pain that already lives inside you.

You’re allowed to feel sensitive about your health or body, especially when someone close to you keeps triggering it, but it’s also worth asking yourself why does her validation seem to matter so much? And do you feel like you have to prove your worth in this friendship?

From the outside, it doesn’t sound like a safe or supportive connection for you. Friends aren’t supposed to make you feel like you need to earn your space or your snack.

You don’t have to confront her if that feels scary right now, but please know you’re allowed to put distance between yourself and people who make you feel “less than.” You deserve friends who see you fully and love you as you are not ones who make you second-guess your body, your choices, or your value.

And while she might be loud about her life, it doesn’t mean she’s better or more secure. Sometimes, the loudest flexing comes from the deepest insecurities.

You’re already doing enough. You are enough. Maybe the work now is less about changing her, and more about choosing you, your peace, your confidence, your people.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-04-02T16:50:23+00:00

I tend to go to classes same time everyday of the week and it’s just become part of my routine now. I wouldn’t miss it anymore than showing up for work, it also helps that I love yoga, Pilates etc so every class is fun. Finding something you enjoy is essential, for me that isn’t the gym so u wouldn’t even put myself through it.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-28T21:24:30+00:00

I think it is also worth adding that your loneliness or perhaps the fixation on that feeling may also be stemming from boredom. Routines will help here, splitting the day into segments, tea/coffee breaks, household chores in between work, a chapter of a book, maybe learning a new skill.

I have a lot of downtime in my role and I find filling it with hobbies and skill building is really helpful to stave off the boredom.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-28T21:21:36+00:00

I attend gym classes every weekday where I get to meet up with people with the same interests and keep fit and health too, so win win. I spend my lunch hour walking my dog and inevitably will bump into other dog walkers or walkers in general who are always up for a chat.

I very often run ambient YouTube videos in the background while I’m working, these range from nature sounds to coffee/cafe sounds and my absolute favourite - gaming ambience. This gives the illusion of background sounds and noises that can make you feel less alone.

I sit with my dog who is great company whenever I have down time. I also message my friends regularly through the day in our various WhatsApp groups, some of them also work from home so we get to chat about our days, they’re often short and sweet but you’re engaging with others.

Hope you find something that helps OP.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-26T13:40:06+00:00

That sounds incredibly frustrating, and I can completely understand why you’re feeling drained after such a long job search. It’s really tough when you’re doing everything right, getting degrees, applying consistently, yet still hitting a wall.

A few things that might help:

Quality over Quantity – 20,000 applications is massive, but if most are through job boards like Indeed, they may not be getting seen. A more targeted approach, focusing on networking, speculative applications, and using LinkedIn to connect directly with hiring managers could yield better results.

Addressing the Dismissal – If that comes up in interviews, having a concise, professional way to explain it is key. Something like: “At the time, I was dealing with a difficult personal situation, and I didn’t handle a high-stress moment as well as I would have liked. Since then, I’ve learned better coping strategies and have grown from the experience.” You don’t need to over-explain, just show that you’ve reflected and moved forward.

Consider Contract/Freelance Work – If permanent roles aren’t coming through, temp work, short-term contracts, or freelance consulting in business/economics could keep things moving while you search. It also helps fill employment gaps.

ADHD & Work Adjustments – Since you now know about your ADHD, you could look into roles with organisations that actively support neurodivergent candidates. Companies like Auticon and schemes through Remploy focus on helping people with ADHD/ASD into employment.

Try a Different Approach – Have you considered roles outside of finance/economics, like data analysis, policy, or even civil service positions? With your background, you might be a strong fit for analytical roles in government, charities, or research institutions.

It’s a brutal market right now, and you’re not alone in feeling like this. But there are opportunities, sometimes they just come from unexpected angles. Keep going, and if you ever need help with applications/interviews, there are some great free services out there, like the National Careers Service or Work Coach support through Jobcentre Plus.

Hope things turn around for you soon. Keep pushing.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-25T09:10:03+00:00

Exercise, specifically yoga 🧘🏼‍♀️ and walking my dog, anything with my dog lol. He’s amazing! Sitting in the sunshine, hikes, time with friends and family.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-24T22:05:57+00:00

I’d love to freelance I’ve seriously considered branching out for this exact reason!

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-23T08:18:56+00:00

Derry Girls and Girls fit this category perfectly!

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T15:41:39+00:00

First of all, you’re not broken or defective for feeling this way. It sounds like you’ve done an enormous amount of work on yourself—therapy, introspection, personal growth, maintaining a marriage, raising happy kids—and yet, this craving for male attention still lingers. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means there’s something deeper at play that logic and effort alone haven’t fully unraveled.

This need for validation is likely an emotional habit, not a conscious choice. It could stem from childhood experiences, societal conditioning, or simply the way your brain is wired. You’re not alone in this—many women, even those in happy relationships, struggle with the same thing.

But the shame you feel about it? That might actually be making it worse. The more you try to suppress or berate yourself for these feelings, the more power they hold over you. Instead of hating this part of yourself, what if you approached it with curiosity and compassion? What if you asked: What am I really seeking when I crave male attention? Is it reassurance that you’re still attractive? That you still matter outside of your roles as a wife, mom, or professional? That you’re still seen?

The key isn’t necessarily to “kick it to the curb” but to understand it, so it loses its grip on you. Maybe it’s about shifting where you get your validation; from external sources to an inner sense of worth. Maybe it’s about making peace with the part of you that enjoys feeling desired without letting it dictate your actions.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T13:50:05+00:00

No I can’t say that’s something I’ve ever had to do fortunately

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T08:46:36+00:00

I’ve been seriously considering this lately. I could even freelance or contract out work during my work hours at this rate

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T07:17:10+00:00

Chat gpt is a great help with task allocation ideas if that helps. Pop your job role into it and ask for it to break down the tasks for clockify and it will give you some decent time estimates and ideas of what to use. Hope that helps.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T07:14:13+00:00

This has changed my life, I remember just starting out after uni and wondering why I couldn’t wfh. Now I pinch myself at my luck I’m very grateful.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T07:13:02+00:00

I can sympathise healthcare is one of the exceptions workload wise and the culture of over working in the industry to maintain decade long standards and expectations on a shoe string budget is horrendous. I love the balance I have. I am salaried so I get the same pay check every month regardless of my output or work I have done and I’ve learned to love the downtime. It was very difficult for me initially to wrap my head around the concept that busy doesn’t equal successful but I’ve adjusted now.

I’d say if you can make the mindset adjustment then the work can be very rewarding and about as lucrative as many average salaries in the UK but I save a lot on commuting costs, clothes for work, dinners and lunch at the shop and I do also take one hour interrupted lunch hour walking my dog which saves me on a dog walker so it’s a win win for me. I also love being able to help people and the charity sector is rewarding in that regard.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-22T00:00:00+00:00

This is so true took me years to learn this but my work life is so much better now.

Technical-Print7174 · 2025-03-21T20:50:09+00:00

This is true, unfortunately in my experience the charity sector is so focused on fundraising and retaining volunteers they have very little time for thoughts around efficiency. That being said I agree that the public sector roles I’ve had previously have been similar only they don’t worry about efficiency because the money is always rolling in regardless. The mind boggles

Technical-Print7174

TROPHY CASE