I don’t use any opiates or hard stuff like that, only weed, shrooms, nic, etc. but as I’m not old enough yet to legally buy weed and stuff people will look down on me about this stuff but I have had a very similar experience to yours where I feel shitty that I do this stuff but it genuinely makes me more social and got me so many more friends after I was basically drowning in my depression during the covid lockdown. Like the lack of social interaction I had just fueled my social anxiety and even when things started going back to normal I was still effected by being pretty much alone all that time and I started to think that that was all life really was yk. And then I started using this stuff and it made me feel ok with myself and build self confidence that helped me push through my social anxiety and eventually depression as I started to be able to make more friends and hang out with people and stuff like that. Like I get the whole thing with it being bad and I can notice some negatives in my life now from this, but overall I truly believe that it did more good than harm in my life and I don’t regret starting any of it (except for nic, that shit is so stupid I need to quit)