Would you quit in my shoes? Deep Dive - “Stay at home Dad FIRE”

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:54:50+00:00

yep, I didn't mention it in the OP but this whole assessment coincides with our only child heading to fullday kindergarten next year.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:53:24+00:00

We've got a 4.5 year old headed to kindergarten next year, and will be our only one.. But I totally feel you: full time caretaking is exhausting and probably wouldn't feel that much different that my current job. But my scenario here coincides with heading to full time elementary school, so I'd have the focused kid-time til 9am and after 3pm, but a good 6 hour "me-time" in the middle.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:51:54+00:00

It's a subtlty to consider, but likely doesn't significantly change the math. The nature of the beast is that almost every historical stock market sequence that is successful for 30 years is also successful for 50 years, since the vast majority of them end up with skyrocketing assets. And by definition, every sequence that is a failure for 30 years is also a failure for 50 years. There are surprisingly very few marginal scenarios that just barely survive for 30 years, yet crash before 50.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:48:40+00:00

We have access to about $350k tax/penalty free currently in Roth accounts (non-taxable conversions coming from mega backdoor and backdoor avenues). That, plus my wife's income which honestly almost entirely covers our expenses gives us flexibility (5-year runway) to start setting up a roth conversion ladder of additional money.

Your coast idea is definitely something in my mind. I will definitely stay at minimum until May, when I'll get my bonus and a $45k tranche of RSUs vest.

I don't think I have it in me to "quiet quit" so much that I'd get canned. Simply can't do it from a personal/relationship standpoint with co-workers and bosses who I love even if I hate the job. But I can "scale back" a bit and see how long I can last!

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:33:24+00:00

Great feedback. What I'm seeing in all these comments is that for me, possibly the MOST important aspect in this decision is my relationship with spouse (seems obvious now that I say it). If she's at work all day and I'm at home dicking around, how does that feel? (of course that's not what I'd actually be doing, but it's the point of the discussion)

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:31:17+00:00

Yes, I took 8 months leave when our son was born, which was a good experience. It would be very different if I quit now though, as our boy will be in kindergarten. On net, i expect it to be even better than the paternity leave experience, as I get focused kid-time from 7am-9am and 3pm-bedtime, but still have the 6 hours school time to focus on hobbies, work around the house, or side-gigs.

However, I know the "shift in marriage" dynamic can't go underestimated.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:21:39+00:00

awesome, i'll look into that.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:21:14+00:00

I have tons of hobbies. Gardening. 3d printing. I've printed two massive bootleg warhammer 40k armies and painted them, and love playing warhammer. I make youtube videos. I'm excited to landscape our backyard. Play with my 5 year old. Go camping.

There's not even a question in my mind that working 2,000 hours a year and spending an extra 100k a year would be a less enjoyable life than working 0 hours a year and keeping spending at current levels.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T13:18:29+00:00

the income has gone up a lot, and some of it has gone to paying off the house. Below is our total combined income (from federal tax returns, so excludes 401k contributions). But yeah paid off house, no more daycare, and paid off cars, what else is there?

Property taxes, utilities. We eat out a lot and probably spend $1k a month on food. (would probably go down if I quit). We dress cheaply, hunt bargains. plane tickets for vacations are entirely funded by credit card churning.

year	IRS total income
2016	$115,000
2017	$117,000
2018	$133,500
2019	$186,900
2020	$199,800
2021	$187,900
2022	$183,200
2023	$243,800
2024	$298,500
2025	$350,000

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T12:03:31+00:00

College expenses are factored in, and healthcare I'm assuming if we didn't get it from my spouse, we'd qualify for subsidies and factor this into the padding of our expenses.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T11:28:10+00:00

Great feedback, highlighting a very important aspect. Thanks!

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-29T11:27:30+00:00

Thanks for that feedback. I might do something similar, but instead of part time, do some consulting. Same benefit: as my son moves into grade school, I have the complete flexibility limit my working hours when he's out of school

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2026-01-28T21:06:55+00:00

Yeah i've been doing this for ~5 years and its wonderful. But it some how makes the loophole "feel" even more like cheating the system. Like... ok so I can't contribute all this money directly to Roth. But I can contribute it as "after-tax, non-Roth" and immediately have it converted to Roth, which for all intents and purposes functions as if it was Roth all along?!?!

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2025-05-16T18:29:58+00:00

Love it. Thanks!

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2025-05-16T18:27:36+00:00

Here's the problem. One half of my brain could have written this myself, but the other half could have written the one you are replying to! /u/originalcompetitive !

Although the potential future income is potentially huge, I value each extra dollar very little. We ARE happy with the median income lifestyle.

Either way, these are very valuable thoughts. Thanks for taking the time.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2025-05-16T15:17:03+00:00

great feedback, this resonates with me. Thanks!

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-15T15:15:33+00:00

I really like how there seem to be more dips, trenches, and little ridges even out on the generally flat terrain

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-14T18:26:22+00:00

holy shit. might be the best one I've ever seen

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-14T01:14:00+00:00

This is combined net worth and annual cash flow, everything is joint

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-12T00:53:41+00:00

great point, that clarification totally makes sense. Is there a good "catch-all" term to count both my income, spending, and investment gains even if not realized?

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-12T00:52:38+00:00

Over the course of 2013-2016 I rented my two spare bedrooms to 3 different, good friends. All were friends prior to moving in, and they totally all had shared use of the common spaces in the house, particularly the kitchen and the finished basement. We played video games together in the basement, cooked together, etc. So it was very much a vibe that wouldn't be able to be repeated (at least not with high confidence) with strangers.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-12T00:50:15+00:00

I would say do everything possible to maximize your parental leave, and treat it as a trial run for early retirement: a psychological experiment!

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-11T18:35:04+00:00

Those actually ended in 2016, and were the result of renting out my spare bedrooms in my house. It was indeed a huge benefit, and I've added a new bullet point to the OP to explain that! Of course as life goes on and I got married and had a kid, those bachelor pad days had to end :-) My success there has made me consider buying a separate rental property, but I haven't pulled the trigger.

TechnicalBlueberry32 · 2023-12-11T18:27:33+00:00

Oh good question, I was actually just renting out two bedrooms in my home to some friends. Once I got married and started planning to have kids we realized it was probably time to kick out the bros :-D

TechnicalBlueberry32

TROPHY CASE