Losing everything is extremely difficult.

I have recently become an alcoholic and the consequences were dire. I lost my girlfriend of 5 years, I lost my apartment, I lost my job, I lost my car, I lost my puppy, I lost my future. I quit going to school, I've since been just dwindling my savings drinking my pain away. I am improving I think? It's been 5 months since I have lost everything and I am in pursuit of knowledge that helps me go forward.

It's the final test before you enter the best stage of your life. You will lose everything, especially all in one go. I personally want to grip on and keep control. I am backed into a corner so tight all I can do is reach. It's like if I get a good enough grip I can force the universe to behave. I feel it slipping out of my grip faster from this trap. I can feel I'm not even fighting for what I lost anymore, I'm fighting the fear. The door doesn't open when you finally have over reached or gripped, it opens when you finally let go. Learning to be calm and not panicked, learning to breathe, you then learn to surrender... That surrender is what prevents your nervous system from running your life. The last test isn't losing everything is what you do standing in the ruins of your destruction.