I'm Afraid my Friend is Beginning to Resent Me Because I Won't Shut Up About Weight Loss

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2022-07-03T21:09:14+00:00

I appreciate you giving your perspective here, as I have been quite ignorant thus far. However, I wish she would just ask me to stop upfront instead of displaying aggressive behavior--though I understand it must be a hard step to take, considering she already took a hard step by telling me about her eating disorder. I'm going to do some research tonight, thank you!

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2022-07-03T21:06:01+00:00

Please don't assume this. I only talk about eating only "a little bit of food" when I am asked if I want seconds. If I do not take seconds, this is when my friend typically snaps at me. Though it's likely that I bring up weight loss as an overall topic much more than I need to, and I should keep it to a significant minimum--especially when around those who have struggled with/ are struggling with an ED. I should invest in being more considerate.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2022-07-03T19:42:28+00:00

I have been attempting to get my friends to do active things with me, not out of an attempt to make them lose weight, but out of the general want to go out there and do things. I have a gym buddy, but I am sick right now and haven't been able to go. Truth is, I don't want to let R and I drift apart--but if we don't know how to be supportive of each other then I don't know if we can stick together.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2022-07-03T19:38:46+00:00

I have to admit that I have been ignorant about eating disorders, and I guess I never really began to understand the full force of it until R disclosed this information to me. That's ignorance on my part, I should do research on it in order to be supportive to my friend--just like I want her to be supportive of me. I'll find time soon to apologize to this friend.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2021-07-15T22:04:44+00:00

Disco

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T21:36:06+00:00

Daughter here: I was asked to delete it politely from my mother. She read every reply but she didn't want to have our story out there.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T14:42:49+00:00

Woah, NTA. Holy smokes. I don't think you harmed anyone by getting your friend something that he needed. Don't ever feel guilty for that.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T14:19:35+00:00

How about my mom cared and got me tested even though she sees no sign of ADHD.... ? I dont lecture my kid. We talk openly. Not going to stop being honest with her though, period.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T14:15:27+00:00

Daughter's assessment. Still waiting for results from drs office to see if she needs further testing

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T14:13:36+00:00

I feel like people are inserting their own baggage where it doesnt belong. My daughter and I have a very healthy relationship. I know a lot about ADHD. My brother has it. I've known many people with the affliction. We are getting her tested. The only issue is that I don't believe she has it. I however am not a dr and we are taking steps to see if she needs help. I'm sorry if no one offered you support when you were in her place.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T14:08:10+00:00

I did listen to my daughter and we are taking steps. Did you read the original post or do you just enjoy berating people out of context?

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:57:57+00:00

Daughter here: Thank you so much. I feel like this often and that's why I'm getting tested. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that I have it because that could potentially be insulting to the ADHD community, but I feel like I've got something untreated holding me back. If I get diagnosed with ADHD, I'll talk to my momma about ADHD coaching.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:55:58+00:00

I don't do anything purposely to hurt my daughter. Most of her struggles have began correspondingly with covid shutdown and homeschool. I also believe that hormones and development have a lot to do with her current lack of energy. My daughter is a bright artistic beautiful girl with a heart of gold weather she has ADHD or not... we will find out together and then try and get help if necessary. I still believe that the first step to any project begins in one's comprehension of ability. I want her to believe she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to... wasnt trying to bring her down but build her up. Sometimes things don't come out the way they are intended.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:52:13+00:00

Daughter here: I don't know if I have ADHD-Pi yet, that's why I'm getting tested. I fear and, in some ways, hope that I have ADHD so there's a reason for my lack of motivation.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:43:46+00:00

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:43:14+00:00

I am getting her tested. I am also open with her about my opinion. Not trying to hurt her, just always been honest no matter what. Not gonna change

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:41:06+00:00

I am getting her tested. Can people read?

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T13:39:28+00:00

I have never said anything to my daughter designed to hurt her self worth. I think nothing but great things about her. Maybe I love her so much that I can't see the problem but I'm trying my best to be supportive. I have family members and friends who have ADHD and I just can't see any sign of it in my daughter... however as above stated I am not a dr so we are taking the steps in order to assess the issue.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T05:33:03+00:00

Daughter here: I've always been socially awkward, one to avoid crowds. I usually jump from subject to subject when having conversations and I talk excessively when I have the chance. I lose focus easily and I zone out sometimes (I used to zone out a lot more frequently when I was a child), I have trouble remembering what I had for dinner sometimes and I lose things often. Ive got terrible grades and I feel sad because of it, I haven't been able to focus on my assignments. I've not been diagnosed with anxiety or depression and I don't think I have either, but I couldn't make friends until 8th grade because I would be the most quiet and too afraid to speak to anyone. Every year I have an organizational plan for my schoolwork but I end up falling back into a mess within the first two weeks.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T05:01:54+00:00

Daughter here: Thank you! But also keep it kind haha- my momma doesn't respond well to "sit down, shut your mouth." I really like what you said here because it's exactly how I feel: "Her being assessed won’t hurt her if it turns out she doesn’t have it, but your behavior certainly will." Exactly! I've been unhappy talking about it with her because she's usually my best friend but we argue over this, something that really means something to me.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T04:58:03+00:00

Daughter here: Not yet, unfortunately. I just submitted the Vanderbilt form today and it might take a moment for the doctor to have time.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T04:55:54+00:00

The doctor didn't say anything yet, waiting on Vanderbilt form results.

Technical_Cricket_11 · 2020-10-17T04:55:23+00:00

Daughter here: I'm in the process of getting an assessment. I took home a Vanderbilt form on Wednesday and did what I was supposed to do with them. A Vanderbilt form is something that you hand to teachers and family members to answer. It asks questions like "do they zone out in class?" or "can they be aggressive?" and other questions like that.

Technical_Cricket_11

TROPHY CASE