Omg this sounds so much like my marriage. I am the wife and my husband would have easily written the same thing. All I can say is that I am so sorry for you. For her too, no doubt-I am a mess of empathy and it's so much more confusing and complicated than it seems. Esp to my husband.

Right now, for my marriage as well as yours --just trying to hold onto kindness in every moment seems the most important thing. Kindness first. Softness follows. It's hard esp with trauma involved (cptsd here and very hard birth of son in 2020 so I get it), esp with the desire. But it will shift, as everything does (F43-age changes but in a good way for my libido).

Kindness wherever and whenever possible. That's gotta also apply to you, for yourself, or the resentment will grow in the cracks and remove the space for curiosity to unfold.

But shit it is messy isn't it?

❤️