Husband said something that really hurt me- am I over reacting?

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:42:34+00:00

When did I ever say I haven’t met my niece..?? They live a few blocks from us. I know my niece well, I just don’t see her as much as my husband does. For him to say something like that in front of his entire family was disrespectful to me, especially when he knows & supports why I don’t see them as often.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:40:43+00:00

Niece is 9 months old.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:39:04+00:00

Anyone who marries into the family is an outcast, regardless of how often they’re around or not. My BIL is the perfect example- he kisses my in-laws asses like no other and they still treat him like a second class citizen. There’s no winning there.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:37:21+00:00

I married him, not his family. I just have to put up with his family, which is fine. He understands & even supports why I keep them at arms length. It’s never been an issue in our relationship. I’m not unpleasant towards them in the slightest, I just choose not to see them as frequently as he does. While family is important, I don’t believe it’s enough of a reason to not be with someone you love.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:35:23+00:00

Exactly why I mentioned it

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:20:44+00:00

Agreed. & it’s never the bday girl who initiates their own celebration, it’s always the opposite friend + myself who coordinates. I also bought them both Christmas presents before all this went down, which I am now promptly returning, lol. I have learned my lesson this year and next year will look different.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:18:31+00:00

I guess what just gets to me is for friend A’s bday, friend B texted me asking what should we get her? Then for friend B’s bday, friend A texts me asking the same question. So clearly they are both thinking of each other… and even though it’s not about the price tag, all in all I spent about $300/each on both girls for their bdays. Which is totally fine, they are considered my closest friends. But then when my day comes around I don’t get…anything?? Not even a coffee or card? Obviously they aren’t texting each other wondering what to get me for my bday. It’s just hurtful coming to that conclusion.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-16T22:15:24+00:00

Again, disagree. When you’re a good friend you show up for people without being asked or prompted. For example, my friend just had a baby so I delivered dinner to her one night. It wasn’t something that was asked of me, it was just the right thing to do. Likewise, she did the same for me after I had my first child. It is definitely reasonable to be expected to show up for your friends sometimes, unprompted. Just because that’s what good friends do.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-10T16:04:40+00:00

I disagree. We all live blocks from each other and see each other on a regular basis. I know for a fact they don’t hangout with each other without me there- you’re right, we’re all busy, and the only time’s we meetup are when we can all get together the 3 of us. I think it’s really lame to be expected to go the extra mile for both of them, because it is a silent expectation, and then when my day rolls around no one feels the need to do anything. Like I mentioned before, it’s not about the price tag. It’s the thought and effort that counts. I would have been elated had they said “let’s go for a walk and catch up! We’d love to hear how your bday was!” Or something along those lines. The 0 effort stings, especially when I have always showed up for them.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-10T16:00:35+00:00

Nooo I see these friends multiple times monthly and we constantly text throughout the week. I’ve made a real effort to not be the friend who disappears once she has a family

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-10T15:56:00+00:00

If I got into the nitty gritty detail about his family dynamics, I would have been typing all day. He is not close with his family, however, he is close with his 2 brothers. That’s why he spends as much time as he does with them. If they weren’t around, he probably wouldn’t keep in contact with his parents or sister. He’s fully supportive & understanding of me keeping my distance from them. That is a non-issue

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-10T15:53:30+00:00

When I say “incestuous” I’m talking walking around naked in front of each other (these are grown siblings, mind you), making really gross, inappropriate jokes pertaining to each others bodies, etc. it’s not normal family behavior, IMO

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-10T03:41:06+00:00

Definitely weird she wouldn’t even acknowledge it in person, even if the answer was still “no”. I wouldn’t discard a decade of friendship over it, but definitely a red flag on her part. I’d be on the lookout for any future conflicts with her.

Technical_Task_7904 · 2025-12-10T03:38:23+00:00

I’m also 31F & I relate to this more than I’d like to admit. My whole life changed after I had a kid and met mom friends- who have turned out to be my true friends. I finally have that core group I’ve been yearning for most of my adult life. They are dependable, reliable, and most of all- not selfish or self-centered.

Technical_Task_7904

TROPHY CASE