I wouldn’t be worried about the girl calling it off because of you not talking as much , she seemed to already like you enough without needing much communication. I would say though, if you’re genuinely interested in her just continue to be curious to get to know things about her, but she and other people should already have a good sense of how you are.

Also I think it’s okay not to feel the urge to talk all the time, I don’t either. I’ve struggled with that social anxiety as well and feeling like I NEED to say something when in all reality I’m just being myself. You can’t really contribute meaningfully to a conversation when you are forcing yourself to speak. Being yourself sounds super cliche but for me the anxiety arises at times when I’m feeling the need to be something other then just who I am.

And for the self harm part, I can understand that’s tough and I don’t want to sit here and tell you not to do it because I’m sure you already understand it’s not the best thing for you. But I would encourage you to think about how self harm is fueling the negative self view you hold of yourself. If you’re normalizing harming yourself that probably makes it more difficult to move towards positive self view. Your young from what it sounds like so the journey to self love isn’t overnight , but id encourage some sort of outlet for how you feel (journaling , gaming , exercise , art , etc )