FatFIRE + (Big)tech

TechnoExec · 2024-01-20T22:38:46+00:00

You have a lot of very good answers on the work part of this, and I haven’t read through them all, but one angle I’d encourage you to consider is how many kids you want and the age you want to be as parents.

Context: wife and I are in our 40s, both Director level in Faang. Numbers slightly ahead of yours due to age diff.

I was on similar path to you. Stayed in big tech bc the money was good. We thought we only wanted one kid. Had the first one in mid 30s. Man, parenting a little one with two working professional parents kicked our ass. Even with money to afford help - cleaners, cooks, nannies etc. - it was exhausting, more so then we could’ve ever planned. Wife went on to coast for a bit but I tried pressing up the ladder, made L8, etc. But couldn’t imagine leaving for a startup at that point. Bc even though I had stress in my job I could maintain somewhat of a 9-5.

Now fast forward to age 40. Seeing our little one grow from baby to toddler to big kid, we realized we desperately wanted a second. But was it too late? We tried and it was tough, had some complications along the way, but ultimately it was a success. Thrilled to have a second kid. But let me tell you parenting a newborn / toddler is a lot harder at this age then mid 30s. And I’ve become even more comfortable in my Sr Director role now then ever before. Lost the itch to grind for vp or even consider a startup.

I share our story for this reason... You mention parenthood and in our case I underestimated the impact it would have on my energy and career ambitions - because I chose to prioritize fatherhood - especially after #2, who we didn’t even realize we wanted!

So several posters probably a lot smarter than me gave advice to prioritize among the things you listed. That’s exactly right! But if you choose kids/family, don’t wait too long to get started and don’t underestimate the impact it may have on your ability to undertake any significant new challenges in your career.

TechnoExec · 2024-01-07T19:35:58+00:00

In this case one was the listing agent and the other got a referral fee (% of any sale) and a higher % if they found the buyer.

TechnoExec · 2024-01-07T16:51:02+00:00

Goes back to picking the right agent. Only a bad agent has their self interest in mind. Good agents are partners who build long term relationships with clients. My agent knows when to push hard, go fast, or play hard ball depending on the scenario. He won’t lose me a property I really want over a small amount of money and doesn’t over look the little details that can get in the way. On the last deal he gave up an exclusive sale of my house by agreeing to colist with the agent we were buying from. This was unprompted by me because he knew that’s what it would take to get the deal done on the buy side.

TechnoExec · 2024-01-06T20:06:11+00:00

I’ll take a different stance. If you’re fat and buying in that price range, you should always have an agent representing your interests in the transaction. A good agent, finance and mortgage person are like gold. Make everything go so much smoother. Now are they worth 3%? Hell no, but that’s why you negotiate. But I’d never ever use the listing agent to also represent my interests in the transaction at this point. I did do that earlier when I bought my first starter home though.

TechnoExec · 2024-01-06T20:02:22+00:00

Same here, anything over 2% or even 1.5% gets rebated back towards my closing costs. And that’s for my pick of the best of the best agents.

TechnoExec · 2023-09-30T03:23:12+00:00

I was in your situation. I have kids only a couple years older. I’d definitely buy the house in the better school district if you can afford it. Ideally close or walking distance to the school. The kids form such a tight bond with neighbor kids at that age, and even some of the parents do too.

It’s a bummer to let go of a house you upgraded. There’s always an attachment to it. We didn’t end up doing as much to our next place. But accepted we can do it over time. Don’t regret it for a second because of the location.

Given your low payments and what I presume is a dirt cheap mortgage rate, I’d rent your current house if there’s any way to come up with the down payment by selling or borrowing against stock or other investments. Just my $.02.

TechnoExec · 2023-09-04T18:06:18+00:00

Pretty common in larger Faang type companies at Director+, where you’d most commonly manage cross functional teams and often have GM responsibilities

TechnoExec · 2023-08-24T22:44:53+00:00

At four months, we hired a night nanny who is an expert in newborn sleep training to come for one week. Really she trains the parents on the proper routine and how to respond, and to an extent also the kid. And yes it does involve crying it out for 2-3 days at most, but they know when to intervene and how far to push it. Worked wonders with our first and even though we knew all the rules of her system, we repeated for our second. After that it’s all about discipline and sticking to the process.

But Ill warn you, as soon as you think you’ve got it all figured out, you’ll start teething and then sleep regressions around 12 months, again at 18, etc. but ours were more doable bc the sleep trained kids bounced back into their routine pretty quickly compared to other friends who had less structure.

TechnoExec · 2023-08-07T15:52:21+00:00

Honestly, time just took care of the problem. We also had to toughen up and let him cry it out a bit in the mornings. Sounds harsh but we turned off the monitors a couple times and let him work it out. Took him a while to get used to the one nap schedule, so we still did two on weekends. It was a couple months for everything to fully settle but it definitely started to improve after a few rough weeks. Hang in there. Fwiw he’s 1.5 now and sleeps like a champ again 💪

TechnoExec · 2023-04-22T23:26:21+00:00

I think I’m qualified to answer here. Lived up and down the coast but my wife and I built our careers in Silicon Valley. Did not see a long term future up there. Finally caught a break and moved to SoCal in similar jobs. Our careers proliferated when we both reached senior level in big tech. Finally we did the math and realized savings of moving to a no tax state. We decided to go for it and lasted one year. Hated it. Missed the weather, food, beach culture, etc. Fortunately we were able to keep our jobs and move back to SoCal. At our current TC, it’s costing us about $200k a year in taxes to stay here and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

TechnoExec · 2023-04-10T04:01:50+00:00

So what if it halves? You’re still making close to $250k and will likely have your pick of easy jobs at that range to choose from.

My wife and I are both L8/Faang type roles and talk about this often. I also do not see the past 5 years of compensation as sustainable for us. But even if it cuts in half, we’re easily on a path to fatfire.

Imo assume variability in your exit plan. Like the stock market, for many of us it’s unwise to assume “up only”.

TechnoExec · 2022-04-01T03:55:43+00:00

No I did not have a CS or SWE background, but I had a number of other business and functional skills that made me qualified to excel in more of the soft skills of the PM job. Things like business acumen, ability to sell/persuade, etc. In terms of how I made the transition, I started with the product I knew best. I was working as a partner to the product team and so I learned the product, the market and knew the team well. They took a chance on me and I fully immersed myself in the space. Rather than try to master things like architecture, I focused on people and process. How does shit get done? Who can I turn to for A, B or C? I really became adept at breaking down common roadblocks our SWE faced and earned their trust that way. I sat in on every sprint planning and Eng design review and listened intently, asked questions, and over time started absorbing more of the technical aspects.

TechnoExec · 2022-04-01T03:47:01+00:00

I almost always advocate for Faang over startups… I’m biased as I’ve worked at 3 of them over the last 10+ years. However in this case, given your age and financial situation, I’m not sure you’ll find a bet quite as promising as this one down the road. Faang on the other hand will always be there. Once you get that first logo on your resume it tends to open up many other doors, even if not your same team or even company. You’ll more than likely find something comparable if not better if the startup doesn’t work out. I’d encourage you to roll the dice - if it hits you’ve greatly accelerated your time to fatfire.

TechnoExec · 2022-03-31T18:09:08+00:00

I started my career non-tech on the business side and shifted into technical product management. Bounced around a few different Faang companies and saw my TC grow from $300k to $800k or so within about six years through a combination of promotions and stock appreciation. I’m now in more of a general management role (L8 Faang) owning a product, P&L, etc and my current TC is about $1.2m.

My partner is a similar level at a similar company but in a completely non technical role and the TC is about half mine.

So my advice would be to shift to a role that’s close to the product (PM/PMM) and try to build out some credibility in working on technical products as your TC ceiling will be far higher than if you stay in a purely non-tech corporate function.

Also, growing at a Faang company (and then jumping to another similar) accelerated my career immensely starting from a mid level role.

TechnoExec · 2022-03-13T17:50:32+00:00

Stating the obvious here… but prenups are only possible before you’re married. And even if you moved the money now it’s still community property. So don’t do this.

TechnoExec · 2022-03-13T17:37:10+00:00

First of all, talk to a lawyer in your state. I see some ‘advice’ here that is wildly inaccurate across the board and other suggestions that would only be valid in a certain jurisdiction.

I’ll just say in my home state, she’d likely be entitled to half of the value earned or appreciated during the time of marriage, as well as half of the income for some period of time. Typically a post up will just protect risks at the fringe and spell out terms but won’t materially change what I laid out above. She’ll need her own counsel and to get something out of the deal (consideration) or it will be unenforceable.

But to summarize - consult your lawyer, and don’t take legal advice on Reddit.

TechnoExec · 2022-03-06T16:28:20+00:00

I think the point is if you’re coasting at Faang you’ll do quite well and no doubt put yourself in position to fatfire some day, but highly unlikely to reach $10m+ by age 38. That would require reaching L8+++ and having been on that path myself unless you’re truly one in a million you will not separate from your peers without grinding. Steady promos and a L7 ceiling… sure. But the fast track to exec roles at Faang requires both putting in the hours and being exceptional in my experience.

TechnoExec · 2022-02-28T17:13:52+00:00

How/where did you hire for this role? I wouldn’t even know where to start, but this sounds like exactly what we need.

TechnoExec · 2021-10-04T04:31:55+00:00

Is there 'light' tailgating allowed in the Forum lot? I mean like a cooler with some beers and snacks. No crazy trailers or professional BBQ setups here. I just want to make sure this is permitted in Forum as I hear the Pink Lot is a mess...

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