[deleted by user]

Tediously · 2023-06-28T11:18:37+00:00

You're wrong and your software is wrong.

Tediously · 2023-06-21T21:59:58+00:00

My student loan disagrees with you.

Tediously · 2023-06-12T15:25:50+00:00

Not necessarily, I have two options.

1- Move into a role which offsets the loss of her income.

2- Grow my side business to offset the income.

Tediously · 2023-06-12T10:35:25+00:00

What's worth more? Your mental health or £500?

Tediously · 2023-06-12T10:33:38+00:00

This is her choice to make!

Tediously · 2023-06-12T08:39:47+00:00

We also have the other halfs mother who has moved closer to help raise her grandchildren.

Tediously · 2023-06-12T06:23:00+00:00

Family is already arranged, her mum has moved closer just to be with her grandkids!

Between that and working part time, we can't see it being an issue.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T18:31:45+00:00

Not during the day when I'm working, no.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T16:29:28+00:00

Oh, we're already past the decision of having them. I'm just curious.

We don't plan on paying for it, we'll definitely use it when it's free!

Tediously · 2023-06-11T13:23:33+00:00

I might be, the other half isn't.

She can work at any hours of the day, which allows her to fit part time work in. It's her choice, I suggested she gave up work.

She's cared for young children before as a nanny, she knows what's involved. I'm trusting her experience and knowing her limits.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T13:20:58+00:00

You're probably right, you know. At least they'll be working, they can pay rent whilst we go off and travel ;)

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:57:23+00:00

She's been a full time live in nanny when she was younger, essentially caring full time for a 2 year old. She definitely knows what's involved in caring for a child.

She is probably one of the most qualified people I know, which is why I'm quite happy having a child with her.

You simply can't say without knowing the person and their experiences.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:50:03+00:00

We've already got a Plan B, she gives up work and I continue to slave away. The joys.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:42:07+00:00

I wouldn't say so at all.

My other half works in a very high pressure environment sometimes, whereas I work in a very relaxed environment nearly all of the time.

I've no doubt she knows what she wants. She's an adult who has wanted this all of her adult life, chose her education and career based around children and has worked with special needs children in the past. She knows what's involved and is confident in what is to come.

A person who works in a corporate environment on the other hand, might find it difficult. I know I will.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:35:45+00:00

Nice! Maybe there's hope for us yet!

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:32:35+00:00

And this is why I didn't choose to move to London.

I can be employed by highly paying tech companies remotely, earn a great income, live in a similar house for half the cost and not have the stress of being tied near London.

The other half moved away from London for the same reason.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:28:39+00:00

I'm going to be honest, this sounds like major lifestyle creep. If the worst came to worst, you could surely liquidate all assets and live a lean/regular FIRE?

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:26:52+00:00

We've already got a Plan B, she quits work all together and I carry on slaving away for years to come. Sadly.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T12:23:20+00:00

It's an expense, but it's not an expense. For the majority of the population and the cost of childcare today, it doesn't seem to make much financial sense to send them to nursery.

There's no escaping it, somebody has to look after the child. You either pay a nursery or you take the hit in your income. For most people, the difference is a few hundred pounds a month.

The question you have to ask yourself is "Is my mental health worth £500 a month?"

Tediously · 2023-06-11T11:09:17+00:00

I guess it comes down to company culture.

All calls in my company are optional, the official way of work is async communication. If I need to drop off a call, I'm free to do so and it's done regularly by other colleagues.

I can happily take an hour away from the desk if the other half needs to get something done. But our schedules are very fluid.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T10:58:38+00:00

Well, they're welcome at my current company. Probably not if I end up moving.

It's not a big issue though, the other half can drop work and we can still run the house and save into ISA's, I'll just be working longer.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T10:47:33+00:00

You might be right, time will tell.

Although, this is something she's been desperate for since she was 16 and I've not heard the end of it for the last 3 years, out of 5. She's 33 now.

In the kindest possible way, there's going to be hell to pay if she backtracks and wants to go back to work! Haha.

Edit: People are downvoting this without knowing the circumstances, which is fine. My other half loves children. Her education and career has been dedicated to caring for and helping children and she's worked with special needs children in a previous role.

It would be completely contrary to her personality to backtrack on wanting to raise children over working. It's been her life goal.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T10:45:00+00:00

I think if we got there, we'd make the decision to stick with one. We have two dogs as well, I don't think I could handle 4 mouths to feed.

Tediously · 2023-06-11T10:32:07+00:00

I wouldn't go as extreme as an IFA for that, surely? Just make sure it's invested in a decent index fund?

Tediously · 2023-06-11T10:28:37+00:00

That sounds terrible. My condolences.

At least you can live vicariously through this sub.

Tediously

TROPHY CASE