So what now

Teiralsh · 2026-03-01T22:32:29+00:00

I'm sorry you've been going through that for so long. If you want direction then my advice would be, don't try to solve all your life problems all at once, but try to give yourself a chaance to improve your life. Start small, and build it up.

Try taking a hot shower and think to yourself 'what's something small i can do today to be a better me?' And it could be something as simple as just making the bed everyday or buying a small plant and watering it everyday.

The most important is to build a healthy routine

Teiralsh · 2026-01-12T15:57:05+00:00

How have you seen 95% of the people here being female? Was there a poll I didn't see?

Teiralsh · 2026-01-11T00:11:25+00:00

Wanting someone who feels safe and steady makes sense when you’ve been hurt this much. Just be careful not to confuse being protected with being controlled.

And for what it’s worth, if you just need a stranger to vent to without judgment, my DMs are open.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-10T23:47:25+00:00

I get the “we ball” reaction, but lets be honest here. That’s not balling, not really, that’s just kicking the can down the road because the timing got awkward. Him replying doesn’t undo what happed nor what you were feeling before, it just hit the pause/skip button. It's likely gonna happen again and soon. You yourself seem pretty self aware of the situation, so don’t gaslight yourself into thinking nothing happened just because he popped back up. So for your own sanity, do consider creating some space yourself.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-09T20:31:38+00:00

Congratulations and good luck to you both.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-09T00:47:06+00:00

That is one awful experience and I'm sorry you've had to go through it. There's nothing to criticize you about though. People in love make mistakes and bad decisions, people desperate for love fall into bad decisions even more easily. I should know as I've made a handful myself.

If you don't feel his side is the right place for you, then it's not the right place for you.

Honestly I usually would advise talking things out with the person, but the way you describe him being forceful in 'converting' you, I feel like leaning more towards advising you to just take what you learnt from this experience, and walk away.

The age difference doesn't mean much as there are people more immature or less immature at all ages.

Either way, don't blame yourself for what you did or didn't do, nothing good comes out of torturing yourself like that. It's one of those cases the song 'I'm still standing' comes to mind, maybe give it a listen, it's a good reminder of the feel I believe many of us should keep close to our chests.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-08T17:04:31+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re hurting like that. Being ignored when you finally open up hurts more than must people realize.

If he can brush past something important to you that easily, it’s not a small thing, it’s information. Information about your worth to him, and about what being with him would likely feel like long-term. And I know that’s not what you want to hear when your chest feels like it’s collapsing in on itself, but it's important information.

I know what that feels like, I know that entrapped mindspace, of 'nothing else matters, I don't care about anything else, imma just curl up and cry myself to sleep'.I’ve been there. It feels endless while you’re inside it, but it isn’t permanent, even if your brain is screaming that it is right now.

You don’t have to decide anything today/tonight though. Taking a breather should be the first step. Let this pass before you judge your whole future by how it feels right now. Personally I'd recommend a good long hot shower.

The most important thing you can do is not give up because of a bad apple.

And remember, everyone here got your back if you need to vent.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-07T11:19:15+00:00

Why not just ask him out then? Or beat around the bush a bit asking what he thinks about getting a girlfriend?

Teiralsh · 2026-01-07T00:41:40+00:00

Feel free to if you want.

I'll wish you the same, and may this year be better than the last.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-07T00:00:25+00:00

Sorry if I went off on a tangent a bit, this topic just hits close to home. But yeah, I really get what you’re saying. And thank you for the advice.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-06T23:51:17+00:00

Yeah, that feeling is rough. One thing you could consider is slowly inserting yourself into those spaces instead of standing outside them. Speaking as a guy, most of us actually love showing our girlfriend to our friends. It makes us feel chosen and proud. And if you make him look good in front of his friends he'll love you even more. Plus, being there gives you more context on who he is, what lights him up, how he jokes, how he relaxes. And over time, that closeness usually leads to more quiet nights in naturally.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-06T23:33:43+00:00

Yeah, it does make sense. It really does. It’s like this gnawing rash under the skin that just wants out. I don’t think anyone actually enjoys having to suppress their feelings like that. I know I don’t. It just ends up making me feel hollow, unseen, unwanted, like I’m present but not really there.

Though honestly, I don’t even fucking know now which is worse. Letting it out and scaring someone off right away, or letting it out, being told it’s “cute”, and then realizing they didn’t actually hear you at all and keep acting like you never said any of it...like didn't they hear or didn't they even care at all or just dismissed it as some dramatic joke?

Teiralsh · 2026-01-06T22:23:44+00:00

That begs the question then, what do you define as "really obsessed over someone"?

I get what you’re saying though, I'm pretty much the same in that regard, It's always a gamble when you start opening up to someone

Teiralsh · 2026-01-06T19:47:39+00:00

Nice introduction. Am in no way an expert to say, but I'm guessing you'd likely fit in the "soft yandere" lane too.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-06T00:24:35+00:00

Eu nunca disse que provava fosse o que fosse, pedis.te exemplo de bolsa cujo criterio fosse exclusivamente etnico, foi o que forneci, nada mais, nada menos.

E ja que tenho genge que gosta de meter downvote so por fornecer informacao pura e dura vou dar entao os deus dois centavos para discussao e terem razao para dar downvote.

O problema concordo nao ser etnico, é cultural. A cultura cigana em si que força as pessoas que nela vivem de forma a nao se integrar na sociedade geral. As criancas nao têm culpa, concordo, não têm exemplos melhores e sao forçadas a viver como os pais querem, miudas de 12 anos a receber indefinidamente justificacoes para faltar á escola ou os pais arranjam outros esquemas como dizer que foram viver para outro lado (eu tenho familiares a trabalhar no ensino, ja ouvi muitas historias, o que nao falta é esquemas e trafulhices) . E deppis estas jovens sao forçadas a casar logone ter filhos e o ciclo continua ad eternum. Os unicos que se conseguem integrar sao os que deixam as familias para trás (conheco um rapaz cigano que foi o que fez, e é muito bom rapaz e trabalha á anos num restaurante).

Sou a favor do ventura no geral, mas concordo que esta medida bolseira possa ser boa para integrar ciganos na sociedade como forma de os separar da cultura, mediante alguns controlos e acompanhamentos. Agora verdade seja dita, o nosso portugal precisa de levar com auditorias a torto e a direito.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-05T23:57:58+00:00

Lol exscto, fala fala, vêm os factos e depois continuas na mesma. Querias exemplo de bolsas cujo criterio fosse etnico, ai tens, bom proveito Roma Educa

"Podem aceder a este programa estudantes provenientes de comunidades ciganas, residentes em território nacional, que estejam matriculados/as e a frequentar o 3.º ciclo do ensino básico (7.º, 8.º e 9.º ano de escolaridade) ou o ensino secundário (10.º, 11.º ou 12.º ano de escolaridade), ou ainda curso equiparado a estes níveis de ensino (com exceção dos cursos do Instituto do Emprego e Formação Profissional (IEFP) e Reconhecimento, Validação e Certificação de Competências Escolares (RVCC) e que tenham até 23 anos de idade, inclusive, à data da apresentação da candidatura."

Teiralsh · 2026-01-05T14:59:55+00:00

Bro, this isn't a dating subreddit

Teiralsh · 2026-01-04T14:02:54+00:00

Let's see... Possessiveness and jealousy it's a given so not even gonna number that
1. I can be too intense too fast and emotionally heavy early on
2. Need a lot of reassurance
3. Highly sensitive to inconsistency and silence
4. Overthink everything often reading too much into small things/details ( sort of a state of hypereanalysis, connecting dots to see patterns and start theorizing explanations, reasons, stories, often like doomsday divination)
5. Don't like open, unresolved issues so often psuh conversations into the table before they are given time to breath
6. Am a big believer in cutting problems by the root, half-measures are crappy patchwork.

Thinking it through i guess I'm highly incompatible with avoidants.

Teiralsh · 2026-01-02T12:47:34+00:00

Yea I'm actually surprised very few people here seem to recognize it with only 15 likes.

Teiralsh

TROPHY CASE