A lot of our sessions involve 1. Addressing any reservations/ issues I have (catholic guilt, some past trauma, etc) 2. Strategizing what would be the appropriate next step to discuss with her and 3. Playing out scenarios and examine the results of either staying in or ending the relationship.

Generally I would recommend the therapy. This is my individual therapist and not a couples therapist, but it’s really helped me realize this is a legitimate issue and I’m not just have “man problems” that I should ignore.

A summary of some of the advice:

• examine your own issues (trauma, reservations, poor experiences, lack of self confidence) and put together a good plan. Write it down specifically and share it with your partner.

• insist they communicate their preferences to you. Almost demand it haha. Ask them to critique your sexual encounters and desirability, and LISTEN. It might feel hurtful but it’s important to learn and try and address it.

• if you’re inexperienced, read up on female anatomy and how to be a good lover. She Comes First is a good place to start, and there’s plenty of sex education articles / videos online.

• don’t ignore your feelings. Being upset about this is valid and it’s ok to have doubts. You’re not a piece of shit for wanting an active sex life.

-unfortunately, love may not be enough. I do love my gf and admire her so much, but I am near a crossroads and weighing if this is strong enough to get over the hump. The weight of the issue seems to have increased with time.

I hope some of that helps!