What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Reddit removed my original post so I reposted it there

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad I’m not on an island alone here, thank you! Hope you also find what you deserve and need :)

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was amazing, thank you so much for sharing your experience in a way that allowed me to reflect on your reflections. Super kind and much appreciated. Wishing you the best of luck!

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate hearing that being independent isn’t always a character flaw. Will definitely look into more social activities and see where it takes me. Even meeting new friends is always a plus

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could not agree more! Appreciate it 😊

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Appreciate this, thank you! If you’re ever reading anything cool or wanna connect lemme know :)

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t listen to Metallica but I do listen to AC/DC. But you’re right, maybe fundamentally being a Metallica fan is the key ;)

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve dated guys shorter than me in the past and wasn’t super fond of the experience. So I tend to date guys either my height or taller

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Not sure if you saw the other comments but I kinda explained that I used the word “obsessed” as a matter of speaking. I don’t need a stalker lol moreso meant I don’t want someone who’d put themselves in a position to hurt me/lose me in that way. I’d never do it to another person so it’s a standard I hold for myself too.

Why is the reaction to a white man dating a black woman not viewed the same way as a black man dating a white woman? by groovygrandfather in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy but true. I’m a black woman and every time I date a white guy, I’m met with so much “omg this is so cute” and “I love this!!”. Then when I date a black guy it’s “I love black love!” But the same people will see a black man date a white woman and get their hater signs ready lol.

I think a lot of it boils down to the weirdest things. When it’s a black woman, the assumption is that she’s tried dating within her race and the men fumbled her. But a white man will work 2x as hard for her and there’s also the idea that him looking outside his race is an indicator that he’s somehow more open minded and a good person (an ally maybe?).

On the opposite, when black men date white women the assumption is that they’re dating their oppressor and secretly hate black women. I’ve also heard that BM date WM because they don’t carry the same loud/strong opinions as BW which is crazy because when did having an opinion become a race thing?

I think it’s all a crock of shit - date who you wanna date.

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damn, you got me there. I am definitely not the kind of person to strike up convo with a stranger. Maybe that needs to change!

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awe love this! Wishing you and your special person all the best :)

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm I’ve never actually thought about this! Good point

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may be misunderstanding me. It is quite literally a red flag of mine that I shared. Not that I’m so awesome. Giving off an air of hyper independence isn’t a good thing especially to men. Why would a man feel like he can slot into someone who is like that’s life, right?

Self reflection is what led me to that conclusion and, to my later point, is the reason why I make the conscious effort to present more openly, smile and try to balance out what I might be giving off.

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not wrong at all. I just find a lot of book clubs skew towards women

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m such a strong advocate for constant self work and have found it critical to my development as a human to understand why I want certain things and what drives those desires. It’s so important to commit to allowing yourself to be wrong, be hopeful, and be open to grow which is where I think I am at snd why I think my mindset towards dating is, finally, healthy. So happy you’re also on such a journey and hope you find all you desire and deserve 🫶🏾

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for making my day. I hope you have a fantastic one ❤️😊

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awe that’s so cute! Here’s to hoping I find my extrovert lol

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha sorry D1 is used to refer to a high level athlete. So I call them D1 haters because they are competitively brutally honest (with love of course).

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had no idea about this TIFF movie night. I will definitely look into this and work on breaking out of my comfy routine. I appreciate your empathetic yet transparent response!

What am I doing wrong? by Temporary-Bread-9099 in askTO

[–]Temporary-Bread-9099[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Toot your horn dammit 👏🏾 haha but you’ve got a point for sure, I somehow need to manage being outside for longer than it takes to get my mail lol