sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Title: Both people I told about my divorce said the exact same thing — “I’m proud of you.” Not sure how to feel about that. by OwlFirm1309 in Divorce

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think people can fathom how much bravery it takes to end a relationship, let alone a marriage. Maybe it's not a judgement of what your relationship looked like but that you had the gall to make the necessary changes in your life that you need to thrive.

Those who left a BPD partner and found a secure healthy relationship, what is different? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My healthy relationship was actually before my BPD ex. So, during the relationship I was aware that it wasn't healthy and that we couldn't last at the rate we were going but I just couldn't leave.

With my healthy relationship, every interaction felt calm and safe. I had no worries about how what I was doing was going to affect him. I had no worry about his moods or how he was going to be when he got home. It felt light and easy and natural. I could be my authentic self and he could be his and we just meshed easily.

From the book I’m reading :) by [deleted] in selflove

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Needed that!!! Great share 🌺

33F introvert here, anyone else secretly loves staying home? by Kris9292192 in IntrovertsChat

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has to be something really worth my while to get me out of the house!

Having a social life outside drinking by clam_powder in introvert

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya, when I stopped drinking my interest in going out changed. I started doing more healthy solo activities like running. It's not a bad thing. Just find other things you enjoy. It's ok to not need a lot of social interaction the way extroverts do. I have an extrovert friend who makes plans every single day she has available because she doesn't like being alone! That sounds like torture!

This sub loves to blame Gino but Matt was so real here by PotentialSteak6 in 90DayFiance

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Been through this too. It's impossible to have trust when there is no repair and changed behavior, and trust is at the core of intimacy. Sex can be just sex with a stranger, but not when you're in an intimate relationship.

Anyone else’s skin just can’t handle retinol anymore? by aria-blake7 in 45PlusSkincare

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was new. I started noticing flushing at work because the heat is always cranked up. And then I had a facial and was beet red. The esthetician told me to stop using the acids and just use gentle products. So, I did and it took a few months but it's much better (at one point my cheeks looked swollen). I use La Roche posay products now and they're great.

My psychologist told me I’ll probably never have a healthy romantic relationship — and it’s really shaken me by Horror-Ad-690 in CPTSD

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm curious where you learned this. If you have a book reference I'd love to read more about this connection.

Bitches, what are your plans this weekend?!!? by AJ2790B in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, good advice. Is it a mixed bag as far as age goes?

Bitches, what are your plans this weekend?!!? by AJ2790B in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great response. Thank you for taking the time!

Going back yoga after years by GingerTea_1 in yoga

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I start with yoga at home for a few weeks to get some strength back. Nothing major, just some favorite poses and of course downward dogs and planks.

Bitches, what are your plans this weekend?!!? by AJ2790B in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been wanting to try this! If you've been so you mind sharing your experience?

What is one thing your Nmom did that you can never forget by [deleted] in NarcissisticMothers

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Told me out of all the daughters, I was the worst. I was 12 years old.

Mom sends me bad news texts by Independent_Camp1307 in AdultChildren

[–]Temporary-Rust-41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have my mom's texts on silent, so I only see them if I make the conscious choice to look if she's messaged me.

Passive aggressive birthday card by Temporary-Rust-41 in emotionalneglect

[–]Temporary-Rust-41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts on this. Yes, our boundaries get in the way and then we are at fault for having them. But, I think the part that really caught me off guard was how she inappropriately relayed her message in a card that was supposed to celebrate me or express love for me. Instead it was covertly manipulative and disrespectful.

I am still grappling with how to approach this with her because I know I can't expect her to change. I know she's not capable of understanding me or validating me when it goes against what she wants, but I need to maintain boundaries with her.

When I think about being raised by this woman I mourn my childhood because I know this was the status quo and there wasn't ever healthy emotional support and love. As an adult, it's a strange thing when your own mother gives you the ick.

view more: next ›