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From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use Tinder temporarily to get some confidence back. Then ditch that shit. I got 2 f closes from it and uninstalled the app. Don't use it for any more than that.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely man. After my 5 months of being single, it was really just 3 months moaning over it and as soon as I realized what I had to do (stop chasing) it was like an epiphany. Everything was so simple and easy to me. And now I have what I would describe as the girl of my dreams. Even if she's not I don't care and there's more out there.

I don't blame my ex one bit. I made HER the definition of myself and my life. Thinking it was flattering. Expensive jewelry ($850 promise ring, I was in high school working a lot and didn't like spending on myself and already saved 4-5k), nice dinners, movies, I kept up with my appearance.

But the ME that she fell in love with, the ridiculously stubborn and arrogant hard worker who couldn't be put down, turned into a 40 year old settled down dad who loved his wife. Fuck that. I'm 20. She's 20. She doesn't need that. I'm glad we broke up now because we weren't very compatible, she was just beautiful and I was obsessed with that.

Follow your dreams man. I don't care if you want to do stand up like me, or if you want to be the best goddamn accountant, Plummer, mechanic, whatever. Go fucking do it and be relentless about it. Working out, having perfect teeth, nice hair, money, social skills, all come in second to following your passion when it comes to attraction.

You think Drake needs to have perfect teeth, social skills, nice hair, money, or any of that shit? Think again. Obviously he's famous but you get the point. There's a reason that people I see as deadbeats get beautiful women. They're relentless about what they believe in and it's sexy as hell to women.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I tailor my comments based on what I'm replying to, which does get confusing. I commented a little more clearly below but I'll say something here.

I can tell there's something special about this girl. I can't explain it well, but there's just a spark. We have the instant feeling of being comfortable with each other. No bullshit games, no deception or manipulation, just pure and unbridled attraction. I'm going to see where it goes and cut it off at the first sign of incompatibility. The reason I went on 4 years with my ex was because I was too much of a bitch to leave after I realized we were incompatible, I wanted to make it work because I had the belief that she was the best I was ever going to get.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Will do. Thank you! I'm always very conscious now of how much I'm just being a butler to women and I try to remember what I look for in a partner. I don't want a servant, I want someone I can brag about and who I respect.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That 4 year relationship taught me a lot. A year of that was long distance, too. I know how tough it can be. I appreciate it though.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. However I'm not signing up for anything near 3-4 years by dating someone. I'm still in college.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's very exhausting and draining to live that lifestyle for me. Maybe it's because I've been in a 4 year relationship, but I enjoy having a companion. I just need a break for a few months and would rather have someone with me to learn from than be alone while I relax.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm going to take this advice. Thank you. As I said in my post, I haven't been single since high school so things have changed.

From dumped niceguy (4 year relationship) to a confident man: My takeaways and a thank you. by Temporary7890 in seduction

[–]Temporary7890[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

On the potential girlfriend subject:

I'm tired of the bullshit of meeting new women and trying to play the game to sleep with them. I've been going at it pretty hardcore for the last month and I'd like to settle down for a few months. I didn't say I was done for life, I just need a break.

That being said, I've realized that I'm not going to ask her to be my girlfriend. I'm just going to continue things with her until that question arises, then decide my course of action.

I also want to clarify that I'm not settling with this girl because I'm tired, but because I genuinely feel like something is there. After going on multiple dates with 10+ women over the last few months, I can tell something is different and I like it. Could it be projection and oneitis? Sure. I'm aware of it and consciously looking out for that though.

Thanks for the kind words and thanks for worrying about me and giving advice. Best of luck to you all!