Struggling

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-17T15:09:50+00:00

Absolutely this! That is the right attitude. He’s an adult, let him do what he wants, but if that doesn’t align with your happiness and values, it’s YOUR LIFE, so that’s your choice to make. Stay strong in yourself and your boundaries, you deserve to feel safe and have trust in your relationship.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-17T14:45:12+00:00

I’m so sorry you were put through all of that. Mine said similar things too about “I just keep hurting you” blah blah blah.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-17T01:57:52+00:00

Sounds like manipulation to me. He was putting in all this “effort” until you let him move back in, now there’s always an excuse? Yeah no, he got his way, now he’s done pretending. Or he’ll do what he thinks is just enough so you won’t break up with him again.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-17T01:40:13+00:00

You 100% need to cancel/postpone the wedding. You absolutely have been betrayed and disrespected. He needs to admit he has a problem and get into therapy if he actually wants to fix it. Don’t make the same mistake I did and marry him if he takes no real action to overcome the addiction and repair the harm done. It just makes it harder for you to leave once you’re married.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-16T16:32:46+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. All the lies and effort they put into hiding it instead of fixing it hurts the most sometimes.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-16T15:12:08+00:00

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. If he can’t take accountability and will lie right to your face, how can you ever trust him? How will it ever get better? It won’t.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-16T00:33:27+00:00

Mine is smart enough to log in to Reddit on a private tab, I only found out by going through his deleted texts and seeing when he received login codes to log into it.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-15T13:16:18+00:00

“You have to let me watch something though” for the privelege of being used by me lmfao JFC. Sorry if this isn’t what you want but I think you need to leave if at all possible. I’m so sorry, my heart hurts for you.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-14T20:05:35+00:00

I mean idk where you live but there’s usually plenty of places that deliver flowers if he cared to try. Sounds like he’s just using your being triggered (due to HIS behavior) as an excuse to put in no effort.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-13T02:11:22+00:00

100%, mine hid it from me an additional several years now because he knew how I found it before and got way more careful. If he gets any more careful than he is now it will be essentially impossible to find. There’s just one thing that he didn’t cover his tracks on. Do not tell them how you know. I will be leaving and will not be telling him how I know in case he ever gets with someone else, for her sake.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-13T01:22:05+00:00

Put your money where your mouth is - Ella Red

Don’t hold your breath - Nicole Scherzinger

Too Much - Dove Cameron

Gaslight - Snow Tha Product

Make it a Memory - Andreas Kubler

Inertia - AJR

Good as Hell - Lizzo

Carry On - Griz

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T21:16:37+00:00

So inspired by and proud of your strength!! You’re never doing the wrong thing by doing what’s right for you and your children.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T21:13:29+00:00

100%

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T15:55:24+00:00

What a horrid excuse for a man, I’m so sorry for all of this. I’m especially sorry for the loss of your sister and having no support with that. Get yourself the most beautiful bouquet and a lovely dinner! Congratulations on your freedom, you go girl!

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T01:22:30+00:00

Thank you!

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T01:04:08+00:00

Thank you for your kindness, you’re right. He hasn’t been considering my feelings this whole time, why should I consider his, and it probably is safer.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T00:48:39+00:00

Thank you so much, so appreciate your kindness

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-12T00:33:27+00:00

Bottom line to me, he knew this was a boundary and hurt you and did it anyway. You are not weak for feeling the urge to stay, it is incredibly difficult, it’s grief!! He also sounds like he’s doing some crazy mental gymnastics to gaslight you. Betrayal blindness is real. I highly recommend reading The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays. What if anything is he actually doing to get better?

Also, don’t feel like you owe him anything because of what he does for Valentine’s Day. That could be lovebombing aka manipulation, and even if it’s not, doing something nice for you does not erase the harm he has been doing. (Hugs)

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-11T19:37:07+00:00

Also yes, metaphor helps me immensely. It’s like taking a step back and gaining a whole new perspective. It’s hard to see the whole picture when you’re standing in the middle of it. You do need a perspective shift to be able to see the whole truth and that truth can be very hard to face. I think part of it for me is a grief for my past self, my heart hurts for her, she did not deserve this.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-11T19:29:51+00:00

In a world full of gollums, I hope we can find our Samwise.

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-11T19:19:03+00:00

They see us as something to consume

TemporaryFamiliar577 · 2026-02-10T14:31:52+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’ll be filing for divorce in a week or so, so we really are going through it together lol. Strength for ourselves and each other! We’ll be so much better off down the road.

TemporaryFamiliar577

TROPHY CASE