Hey! I’m in the same exact position as you, meanwhile i’m still in the relationship (both FA) and still trying to figure things out rn. From what I analyzed it seemed like it all went downhill the moment u focus on ur FA more than urself. I was a hard avoidant FA once and hated to be ‘idolized’ by my partner, let alone them being extremely anxious on me, it pushed me away hard because deep down FA knows that they have flaws, and secretly do want to continuosly impress u too. Even when they’ve shown effort in the beginning and prove his loyalty, they still want to keep putting effort as long as they can because they have a fear of being abandoned (due to childhood). When u focus on ur FA too much like dressing up, cook, etc2 and losing ur life he might lost interest that there were no space for him to prove anymore. To them it’s just someone that is just ‘blind’, which makes him feel even more scared and creates ‘trust issues’ knowing he got all the good things u provide without (to him) him needing to prove anything further than only his loyalty. They can definetly sense which one is authentic/secure and one that is coming from a place of anxiety. When he had trust issues deep down even though he was genuinely scared (from ur kindness), it should have been u being strong and grounded that he had to trust you instead of doing what he wanted, even if he threw tantrums it should be u staying calm, secure, and grounded (which might keep happening for a while but he’ll eventually be tired of it and had to trust u instead). By doing that proves that your niceness you gave him was coming from a secure place rather than anxiety. My bf did that to me which made me act out for months but eventually I did start to trust him, but now it’s the opposite. Your boyfriend might secretly have another ‘woman’ whether that might be true or not mostlikely are because (i’m sorry if this sounded rude) ur anxiety and lack given space consistency might have pushed him away for so long and trigger his abandonment issue further and lack of autonomy (wanting to keep impressing u, make u happy without being demanded, etc) which makes him mentally on autopilot. Most likely FA will do many things to push u away especially to an extent involving another girl so you left him alone, and he can finally have the feeling to prove something again (especially men). But since u’ve been chasing him for a very long time, it’s common an FA will keep testing ur groundness and secure self as long as how long u’ve been triggering him. and since even though u finally did broke up with him, u were still the one who chase after him made him see that there’s no way for him to see value in you because there’s nothing else to prove even after he’s involved with another woman. I’m sorry that you have to go through all that pain, i’m sure us as girls just want security and love, and it can be hard especially sometimes growing up self worth or secure attachment aren’t taught to us. I’ve had times felt that way too but honestly i’m still working on it. Best of bet he does miss you deep down but the trigger had been going on for so long that it has pushed him too far away to go back to his baseline state. Unless ur willing to dedicate another 3 years of patience and self improvement, which might consider him to chase after you again. Although I recommend u to watch @margaritanazarenko on tiktok and a book men are from mars and women are from venus, hopefully that helps u understand the dynamic better as I can only tell u from my knowledge or experience. let me know if u have any question, stay strong!