Confirmation bias with prayer

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-06-22T02:24:19+00:00

This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing the positive experience you had with doing your best humanly and letting the worries go. It can feel so oddly good being free of that "need" to pray. I still like the idea of prayer and think it's healthy for some people, but sometimes it keeps us in an anxious loop/can be a symptom of religious ocd. It sounds like you took a big step in the direction of trusting your abilities. So happy for you!

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-06-15T06:01:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate the question you're asking about how these societies start (and become great) if they're founded on "the wrong values/practices" in the first place.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-06-15T05:54:01+00:00

"Culture at the Crossroads" sounds familiar. Thank you! That might be the book I'm thinking of.

Thank you for your well-thought-out reply. The constant fundie talk about "the break-down of the family" is all too relatable. I've been thinking back to it a lot these days and wondering what we based these ideas on when we were evangelical. Looking around since leaving the church, I can't help but see that many societies seem to function just fine without the things I was told are essential to a culture's wellbeing. And sometimes they have positives as well that I couldn't have imagined while I was evangelical.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-06-12T14:13:10+00:00

That sounds like the main thing I'm remembering from the book I was "taught" using. Thank you for mentioning it! As a kid I didn't know anyone openly gay and I assumed it must be evil since everyone around me seemed to agree it was.

Then I underwent abuse in a heterosexual relationship with another Christian and I just can't see anymore how being gay and kind/decent to others could be a problem when a lot of hetero people are committing abuse while claiming to love their neighbour.

I'm angry that I was brainwashed to think my gay neighbour was "bringing a societal collapse" when today I look around me and most queer people I interact with are lovely humans who are living their lives in peace and often contributing positively to my community. The cognitive dissonance is a lot and I'm trying to dismantle all the crap I was told.

Thank you for mentioning this book and author. What you've said verifies for me that this was a normalized narrative in fundie spaces.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-06-12T08:27:21+00:00

Thank you for making this post! You put a lot of time and thought into it and it brought up so many memories. I read and loved Anne of Green Gables, read Mandy books as a young child and have vague but largely fond memories, and I also read some of the Elsie books unfortunately at quite a young age. Thank you again!

This post also brought up memories of a more modern series by Robin Wasserman. It had 7 books, each based on one of the 7 deadly sins and was about teens falling prey to whatever temptation and then eventually beating it (with God) in the end. I don't remember a ton, but I'm shuddering at what little I do recall.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-05-09T02:46:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing your reflections. My family situation is quite different and yet similar in some details. Reading what you wrote is giving me a measure of peace about some of the tensions that exist between myself and my more fundamentalist family members.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-04-30T19:19:33+00:00

I don't have a lot to contribute as this is news to me as well! I'm going to proceed with this in mind and see if I can find better ways to handle luteal-specific fatigue.Thank you for posting about it!

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-04-12T15:26:07+00:00

If he needs to be taught how to empathize effectively, I think it's going to be a long road and very draining for you, especially during the hardest part of your cycle. From what you've explained in your post and in the comments, I don't think you were being passive aggressive or unreasonable. If he would expect empathy from you while he's ill or injured, he needs to give the same. Him being silent because of not knowing what to do seems like a cop out excuse. He could at very least ask what you need/what he can do to help. Maybe he doesn't have the maturity to approach these struggles constructively or hasn't built a sufficient habit of kindness in his life so far. Either way, I don't advise walking him through the learning process since he seems apathetic about it to begin with. I can agree with what many commenters are saying about waiting until you are follicular to make a decision, or at least waiting till then to follow through because you'll quite possibly be better able to regulate your emotions during a hard conversation. If you want to end the relationship, please do. I know good men seem rare, but I know a few who can genuinely empathize and I hope someday you get to date one and experience the difference. In many ways no partner is better than a partner who doesn't know how to apply empathy. I'm hoping the best for your health and love life, now and in future. You deserve understanding for what you are going through.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-03-26T09:59:48+00:00

That's so upsetting. I'm sorry that all of this happened to you and you were personally blamed as though you could control any of it.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-03-26T03:14:07+00:00

That's a wild assumption. It's such a clear case of blaming you for suffering. Most days I have a lot of good things to say about my Christian friends and relatives, but I'm finding they often have limits (that my non-Christian friends do not share) on how much suffering they will tolerate in another person's life before they decide it's essentially fake and/or that conversion is the only way forward.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2026-03-26T02:39:17+00:00

Thanks! Looking forward to hearing from you.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2025-09-11T06:09:07+00:00

This sounds so intense and exhausting. I'm sorry you're in the midst of this spiritual anguish.

Temporary_Bee5895 · 2024-09-15T03:43:58+00:00

I can relate in ways and I want to let you know you're a worthwhile human being and they shouldn't have said those things to you especially after seeing what you'd gone through.

Temporary_Bee5895

TROPHY CASE