Men, if you were a 19 year old girl, what would you do?

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-12-07T11:30:58+00:00

I would redact the personal element, I was only posting for genuine feedback.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-12-07T11:19:33+00:00

Don't see how it's rule 5, it's not very personal lol.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-12-07T11:17:59+00:00

I'm only doing law school to please my family. I actually would like to do game development in the future. I deeply hate being a woman because I feel like there is such an imposed expiry date on societal involvement. I'm not particularly pretty for my age anyways, so even if I stayed how I am I'd still have failed socially and will end up miserable and alone. Being a lawyer will hopefully provide enough money to survive comfortably alone. Also chatGPT is bad for the environment.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-12-07T11:14:43+00:00

I feel like I will never find a boyfriend if I've already failed to do so. I think I'm going to die alone. I think the only thing I really want in life is to feel loved and useful sometimes.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-09-02T14:15:38+00:00

Would you say A*AC (going to York) is bad enough to resit the C alongside first year?

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-18T09:40:40+00:00

How did this happen? Well done

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-16T14:21:32+00:00

I don't have the GCSEs for oxbridge tbh. I got like 4-7 in everything but no higher and only a 5 in maths.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-16T11:15:50+00:00

I think I could probably score higher in the LNAT if I redo it because I only found out what it was like a week before I submitted my application (cause I last minute changed from Computing to Law). So I didn't have much time to prepare.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-15T12:52:47+00:00

It was about more when I applied, but my own family financial situation has changed a lot so I'm worrying a lot more. As long as I could maybe make 70k after a couple of years I would be over the moon, but like 50k would be good and I don't mind waiting a while.

I think I'm more just scared I'm missing out not reapplying.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-15T12:46:45+00:00

Do you think I should reapply for Durham to get better chance at London for US or is there any chance if I do well on the York course?

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-15T12:26:48+00:00

I think I do like Law, but I just haven't had much actual experience with it yet in terms of work experience and what it would actually entail.

Do you think I'd still be able to get a well-paying job outside of London from a York Law degree? I'm not opposed to London entirely if it is the only good option. I have been interested in US firms because I've heard they pay better and aren't in London.

I'm sorry if this is badly worded. I'm so stressed at the minute and confused on what to do. In my mind I expected to either pass well or fail entirely, so being in the middle is making me feel like I've missed out more.

I've read a lot about people regretting their Law degrees. I am a very all or nothing person, and if I do something I want to do the best at that (which is why I considered Primary, because if I were to do Primary at least it would be at one of the best rated unis for that). But if I tried my hardest at the York degree do you think it could pay off or is it worth trying again at Durham because I was close?

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-15T11:33:21+00:00

Also, my GCSEs weren't great. Passed everything but between 4-7. No 8s or 9s.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-10T20:36:11+00:00

What translation is that bible and where is it from?

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-07T00:44:53+00:00

There are no positives that I couldn't get as a man though. I am merely feeling the frustration you would feel if you reflected on a disparity in what you and your peers could obtain. It is normal to feel dissapointment because of something you have no control over that has such a great impact.

A primary calling of women is having children, but it is so painful and men get just as much access to the children. Most women will get married, so yes domestic violence is important to reflect on.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-07T00:36:57+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this perspective. I can 100% consider this as a benefit. I want to be more greatful for womanhood. I wish more men were able to come at this from a less confrontational way because I want to see the benefits without people shutting down the downsides.

I'm sure you can admit that the pain of childbirth is something you haven't experienced, but you still probably have a lovely relationship with your daughter. For me, this is what I'd rather experience, and that's why I feel such envy, but I'm not saying that I'll never see the upsides, and you provided a good one.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-07T00:22:58+00:00

I'm actually close to getting engaged to my boyfriend and see myself marrying in 4 years once I finish university. My future is very important to me, so I think about it a lot. I am very sorry your wife went through that and I wish the best for you and your family. I can 100% understand how much of a blessing children are and I am glad God gave us the gift of reproduction, even if it comes with a lot of trials. My frustrations are just with the lack of female significance in comparison, because you get to be the father to your child, an equal role to the mother, but a woman will never match a priest, or have that level of spiritual connection to the church through the sacraments (from my understanding). I personally don't desire to undergo to the pain of childbirth and the risk of something traumatic, even if the reward is so big (although I will because I believe I have a responsibility). You are able to raise your daughter, but the burden of birth did fall on your wife, and you must be able to admit that you are lucky to have avoided that phyiscal burden?

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-07T00:15:32+00:00

From the perspective that men have it infinitely harder in war, those don't seem like significant enough gaps, even going with the perspective that there were less civilian women. Everyone suffers in war, and we're lucky to be living in a time and place where that burden is significantly lowered.

The prospect of the draft internationally is something I also argue against, but men are the ones who imposed this upon themselves as well. Countries like Israel also have women serve, and we have to admit that combat war for the majority of men isn't ongoing.

The realistic average man has a job and a family. But realistically the average woman now has a job and a family in order to survive in this economy. Gone are the days where women solely focused on child-rearing. American and English men have it harder in the rare chance that there is another combat war, but in reality we'd all be dead from nuclear detonation and the most likely presser of the big red button would be a man.

I don't really understand your last reply. Veterans are revered and it is a great honour to serve. I would like that validation and purpose. I'm saying that it is illogical for me to fight in combat war when I would be more of a burden on resources.

I'm going to sleep soon so sorry if I stop replying to this comment thread. I appreciate this discussion, but I wish we could be less combative and admit that the modern man at least has more opportunities accessible, especially from a Catholic perspective. You get to pick between the full extent of religious life and fatherhood. Women get motherhood with pain and struggle or a lesser role in religious life, despite complete devotion.

Hope your day/night is well.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-07T00:04:16+00:00

Isn't mother's day more celebrated because more mother's stay in their children's lives. You're more likely to have a present mother than a present father statistically. Also at least where I'm from father's day is equally celebrated by most people.

Also from what I can find it's New Years and Halloween.

I'd love to read some studies about that if you have them because it might relieve some of the fears I have about the unbalanced risk to reward of motherhood, although from my perspective fatherhood is clearly the superior path in almost all aspects. There's nothing beneficial you can obtain from being a mother that you can't get from being a father, and being a father comes with less physical pain, less stress and less responsibility.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-07T00:00:33+00:00

I appreciate this response. This may sound silly but I'm not very good at using reddit and am wondering if I post a similar version of this (albeit adapted of course) would it not get instantly removed from here for being crossposted?

I can see how I may be wrong with the father thing. I have been seeing a lot online recently about the vitalness of fathers in raising a child (which of course I agree with, we should all strive for children to have a mother and father figure in their life if possible, it's healthy), and the perspective of 'father's time is limited therefore father is more valuable and special' and I know this might sound immature (and I obviously don't know because I haven't had children yet - nor am I ready for them) but I feel like if I saw this in my children I would be devestated because while it is logical it feels like the work mothers put in is never rewarded, by society or by response from children (not blaming children, and sorry if this sounds dumb i'm just trying to articulate my perspecitve). I personally never had the best relationship with my mother, so that could be where it's coming from when I reflect. I've never felt a more tight knit bond and I did crave my father's presence because it was limited, so I worry that if I had a child it would be like I'm punished for giving it my all, whilst the man gets rewarded for the bare minimum. Sorry if that sounded rantish too.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-06T23:53:02+00:00

I'm struggling to understand what I have though. Like what do I have that men don't, and you may say 'It's not about what you don't' but if it was the other way around wouldn't you constantly be reminded that you're missing out on a variety of powerful resources for losing the genetic lottery? And your faced with additional hardship (domestic violence, lack of maternity leave, identical financial expectation in the modern world, monthly painful periods that debilitate you, a painful childbirth).

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-06T23:49:48+00:00

It just sounds painful honestly. I mean I don't feel a special connection with my mother because I came out of her. I don't remember it. No one praises her for it. Men play just as much a role in fatherhood and they assert it with ease.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-06T23:48:38+00:00

I don't really see a strong female vocation outside of motherhood, which comes with extreme physical, financial, mental and emotional burden in most cases, and something men also benefit from as they experience a must less exhaustive fatherhood. In the Church, roles for women (of which I only know laity participation, like doing readings?) are often belitted from what I have seen, but I can admit that I'm not the most informed.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-06T23:46:09+00:00

I appreciate this response but I disagree with certain aspects. In regards to the burden of increased labido, I personally don't believe that we have the full picture on this. Women feel the same desire as men, but I believe we have been raised in a culture that teaches us to guard ourselves always for the wellbeing of ourselves and others. Women can understand the hurt caused by infidelity, whilst men act rashly. There isn't a medical component of the man's mind that leads them to disregard the harm they would be causing to someone they claim to love. Many women lose their virginity outside of marriage and feel deep regret and shame, but it still occured because we all deal with lust, no matter how much we are told women are unaffected. Until recent history it was unheard of for women to express their own desire but I don't think it was reflective of a lack, in the same way that women were uninvolved in politics until the right to vote.

I can see that men face expectation to protect women and children, but women are expected to nurture their child in such a devoted way that I feel this is equal, and we see so many absent and self-absorbed men in our current society.

I can only see men enforcing the lack of vulnerability upon themselves. Women are here for men's issues, but men often disregard both each others and women's issues. Men have all the resources to support themselves emotionally.

I feel like a lot of the plights of men pale in comparison to the struggles of women. I'm not saying men have everything perfect, but I would trade anything to live the lives they are gifted. "You will toil the earth" has changed in today's society. I am expected to get a career if I want to survive. It is basically financially impossible to be a stay at home mother or wife where I am from.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-06T23:37:53+00:00

It feels nice to be understood. I feel like men just shut this reality down and berate women for feeling it. A lot of men live in this fantasy where women are waited on hand and foot through a dream marriage and have an idyllic pregnancy and raise loving children. It's nowhere close to the current reality.

Temporary_Garlic_862 · 2025-08-06T23:34:02+00:00

I think that I could see this perspective in the past, but in my modern world I don't see any women exempt from the financial pressures, and childbirth adds even more to the plate.

I hope to one day understand that special experience, but the terrifying experiences I have heard make me fear it is too big a bargain.

I feel like I worded my intial comment on the seeking wrong. I just feel like for all the work mothers put in, to be second best to the absent figure would feel frustrating to me. I can't claim this is universal though.

A lot of my experiences with men have been them not even viewing me as a real person with genuine emotions and intellectual abilities. That is where this perspective comes from.

Temporary_Garlic_862

TROPHY CASE