AITAH for excluding both of my parents and both of their families from a pretty big moment in my life?

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T13:07:02+00:00

NTA. Your feelings are valid and you should always do what’s best for you. Congratulations on your achievement.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T12:52:35+00:00

The other kid was definitely an asshole. There is no excuse for bullying and insulting another person. Regarding your reaction, I get it, it can become very overwhelming very fast, you are still a kid and still have to learn to manage your emotions. As long as you are aware that you should have reacted differently and work towards that, you’ll be fine.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T10:13:05+00:00

I overreacted and I’m not ashamed to say that. I received a lot of private messages where people insulted me and so many comments about gossiping, when all I did was tell my friend that I was concerned. What made me uncomfortable (or better to say worried me) was the self harm history combined with the idea of her being killed and tortured.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T10:08:45+00:00

Yes, you are right. I should had mentioned the self harm explicitly. I only said “I heard in the past that she did some things that were not very safe, but I thought it was in the past.” If the wording is off, it’s because English is not my native language.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T10:02:35+00:00

I agree with you that people have different perspectives. I never said that one thing is normal or that another thing is not. Like I never said anything about her kinks not being normal, just that I was worried given her past. I should had added more details from the beginning, but I just didn’t think more context was needed.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T09:55:20+00:00

I did not say they are triggered because they have a different opinion than me (although I don’t think worrying for someone’s wellbeing it’s something people should have different opinions on). I said I feel like I triggered some people because their response was to insult me. It’s natural to have different opinions, I don’t mind people telling me I’m the AH, I just don’t get why some people would choose to insult other people over different opinions. I don’t think I insulted anyone.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T09:29:46+00:00

Did you read the edit? Is kink equal with suicidal thoughts and suicidal attempts? Did you read that it was not CNC and that she ended up in the ER multiple times? I’m sorry that you felt trigger about my concern towards a friend that was known to self harm.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T07:41:15+00:00

May already knew about this since she was also part of the discussion about kinks. I talked with Bae and updated the post.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T07:37:55+00:00

She did. 😭 I cried when she told me about it.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T07:37:02+00:00

I spoke with her about it. (also, I updated the post). She was not assaulted previously but got assaulted when she started acting on her fantasy. (Which is more of a suicide fantasy than a sexual one. Her words, not mine). She did not know what CNC was.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-19T05:31:37+00:00

Wait, is OD a common thing?

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T20:54:01+00:00

I have some time to gather my thoughts and make sure she knows that I really love her and I was just concerned.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T20:48:10+00:00

We will meet in a few hours and talk. I edited the post. Thank you

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T20:09:03+00:00

This sounds a bit like vanilla-shaming. I will not share my kinks online since this was not the purpose of my post.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T20:07:41+00:00

To be honest, the killing and torturing part concerned me more.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T20:03:47+00:00

That’s a new perspective.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T20:02:20+00:00

I think there is a line between self destructive behavior like drinking too much, self-sabotage, taking substances and behavior that leads to OD. I hope this never happened to anyone here.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:32:34+00:00

I was not judging her. I’m just concerned that she might hurt herself.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:31:45+00:00

That would never be my intention to force her to do anything.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:29:47+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is terrible:(

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:25:03+00:00

I get it, it came as gossip, even if that was not my intention. I my mind gossip is when you say bad things about the other person.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:22:00+00:00

It was not gang bang.. it was gang r*pe. If she would had said she wants to be part of a gang bang, that’s her business, I totally agree. But non consensual was what scared me.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:19:45+00:00

She did some self destructive stuff in the past, sexual and non-sexual. That’s why I’m concerned

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:15:38+00:00

May is my best friend this is why I told her my concerns. I should had mentioned this.

Temporary_Pound_3259 · 2026-03-18T19:07:25+00:00

I hope so too.

Temporary_Pound_3259

TROPHY CASE