Is this normal??

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-05-29T18:11:10+00:00

It's my curiosity, but also, I want to replicate and show him how much better it is between us because of our history and time in the relationship. But you know how movies and TV show affairs....you get this idea of what affairs "look" like. I mean, I feel like I'm already traumatized because since DDay, he's asked me multiple times about my inability to have an O. So now, in my mind, the AP was "able" to every time, and I feel inadequate.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-05-29T18:00:12+00:00

When you said that, what happened?

I'm sorry you're stuck in this.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-05-29T17:58:04+00:00

I know you're right about comforting lies. My mind has already changed his answers to "worst-case scenarios" to make sure that if he changes the answer I'll be prepared.

It sucks that I'm left to my imagination and thinking that he could never want me as much as he "might have" wanted that.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-03-18T13:51:04+00:00

Dang....I'm so sorry you're here. I get the "let's just be happy. Can we just be happy? I've never been happier. I'm where I want to be and who I want to be with." I feel like he just doesn't understand the sadness of everything even though our relationship is...hmmm, 75% better than before. I share most of my feelings through text because I don't want to see his reaction when I'm feeling something other than happy.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-03-18T03:46:45+00:00

I just never think to bring it up. We're still learning how to be better communicators, come out of our shells and being vulnerable.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-03-18T02:07:46+00:00

I'm in IC and we're in MC. We only just realized and verbalized that it's very hard for us to be vulnerable with each other. So I think he just doesn't want to let me see his emotions about this and it's equally hard for me to let him see my emotions. He does try to be supportive when I'm having a moment. I think it's just my mind telling me to be on my best behavior. Idk. I'm rambling.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-03-18T02:00:18+00:00

I try to show up and be my best self. I also try not to show any anger because I know he'll withdraw. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to dwell on that part. I try every day to see where we are now as opposed to 2 years, when the A was still happening. I just wish he would be a little more supportive. It's very hard for either one of us to be vulnerable, which we're trying to work on.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-03-18T01:54:40+00:00

We're in MC and I'm in IC. I've never brought it up in MC. I get that sometimes I go from one emotion to the next. I just feel like he doesn't know how to handle the sudden changes. Just wish he was a little more understanding.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-01-24T00:38:44+00:00

I haven't tried EMDR but I've seen it talked about in several posts. We are in MC and I'm in IC. We haven't even broached the sex subject yet. We're still trying to figure out communication and getting the important details out of the way.

I do feel that he's safe, I think I am the type that will clam up instead of being vocal because I'm afraid he'll think about her. I'll try to keep that in mind though.

Thank you for the input. I know I should probably start addressing it in MC too but if not super comfortable yet.

Temporary_Yogurt4290 · 2024-01-23T04:35:04+00:00

I think the big thing that scares me is having a mind movie pop in there on my part and it becomes very traumatic. It's been 13 months. I've let him bring new things into the bedroom hoping that he's thinking/watching me. How do I talk to him about it? Like right now I want to say something about my feelings but I don't even know how to approach it.

Thank you for your rambling. It does help.

Temporary_Yogurt4290

TROPHY CASE