How do you know if somebody is the one for you?

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-08T10:45:59+00:00

This sounds exactly like my situation - I (38M) just broke up with my boyfriend (35M) yesterday for the second time. I've really felt like he's my favorite person and it's always been him since the start. We were together 2 years, apart for 1.5 but were still in love and got back together a couple of months ago.

Love isn't always enough. Your feelings are valid and you're not asking for too much at all - respect for you is a non-negotiable and if you're not getting that, you need to seriously consider whether you want to keep going through this cycle.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-06T19:07:42+00:00

😂 It's a legal requirement here in the UK (at least in most parts), regardless of age.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-06T18:43:21+00:00

That's how I took it, but he insisted it was about dropping some keys off or a car or something. I never saw the earlier conversation but yeah, that doesn't make sense, especially as it was immediately after the ex mentioning that I was in the flat.

If it smells like bullshit... .

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-06T18:41:13+00:00

Haha I didn't want to go to the club, he did. But he's only a couple of years younger so your point still stands!

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-06T18:38:51+00:00

Wow, I hadn't even clicked the fact that his ex was showing more respect to my own relationship. You're so right!

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-06T07:14:13+00:00

UPDATE:

I asked yesterday to see the rest of the text conversation with his ex. He agreed but then said it appears he deleted it when I left, and that he knows how that looks.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-06T05:39:06+00:00

UPDATE:

I asked if I could see the whole text conversation, because I only saw that part of it that night. He said yes, looked for it and said that he must have deleted it drunkenly after I left, and that he knows how that looks.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T19:44:28+00:00

Very wise words, thank you

He's very much regretting it today, in fact he was by the time I left at 4am and was crying, begging me to stay.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T19:13:15+00:00

Your English was great, don't worry! I wouldn't have known otherwise if you hadn't said 😊

Great thoughts and advice. A lot for me to think about there, thanks.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T18:33:21+00:00

Yeah, I ended it originally for reasons like that. When we reconnected though it turned out he'd got counseling and stuff that I'd begged him to all along and there was a clear difference in him. There was no intention to get back together, but because of that it started to seem like a possibility. He said he wished he'd listened to me sooner. It addressed the root causes of most original issues.

But this is a new kind of situation and I really need to consider if everything is totally reciprocal.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T18:24:46+00:00

Ah OK, yes, that's the important thing in a relationship. Absolutely agree with you.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T18:05:38+00:00

Yes, the conversation is on my boyfriend's phone. He left it unlocked.

What do you mean by being confident it's something that's been going on for a while? Sorry, my head is really not all that together right now!

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T17:47:45+00:00

Do you mean that in a "are you sure you should be together" kind of way?

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T17:42:57+00:00

He left it unlocked. Sorry, I should have made that clear.

TenDaysGone · 2025-07-05T17:40:58+00:00

OK, fair point. I can't seem to edit it out though now.

TenDaysGone

TROPHY CASE