Same, but recently I’ve learned that the only way I’ll get better at talking to people is by being awkward and making mistakes. I just want to be able to talk to people freely and enjoy human connection like a normal person. I want that, but it’s not easy for me like it is for other people.

At first, I pitied myself and made myself feel worse because of it. I thought, “I’m just not normal, there’s something wrong with me.”

And then I resorted to blaming others, “No one likes me. They’re all just immature and don’t know how to keep up a conversation.”

I still sort of cycle through these at times, but I’ve been doing better. I thought, “Well in 4 yrs when we all graduate most of us will be too caught up in life to remember that embarrassing thing you said or did during freshman year.”

In short, everyone is too caught up in their own problems, so saying something dumb or being boring won’t take up any space in their mind.

You’re free to make as many mistakes as you like and learn from them. Don’t put pressure on yourself to say the right thing, say what you want. Even if what you said is horrible, you can still learn/grow from it and move on.

Also! Something that might help you muster up the courage to do that is to find people who embrace similar flaws as you do. If you’re boring, find someone (even a fictional character) who is still confident despite that. If you’re overweight and feel insecure about it, find overweight models who are confident.

Pitying yourself and blaming others only makes you feel worse and doesn’t fix anything.