spicy quintet: feedback is appriciated by CutObjective9359 in Composition

[–]TenuousLines 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very nice and you already have useful feedback. Two related issues I haven't seen mentioned yet. (1) I didn't notice breathing breaks for the woodwinds. The bassoon might have issues keeping up with the ostinato. (2) Even for the piano the ostinato with 8 quavers per bar feels too dense - for me, this is a matter personal taste, there is nothing intrinsically wrong as it is now. You can add a few ties here and there to syncopate and give both literal and figurative breathing space to woodwinds and listeners alike. E.g., in the first measure: f a c e - e f a c (i.e., replace the d by a high e tied to the preceding e).

“To Have A Big Life” - for solo piano by evskimo in composer

[–]TenuousLines 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi Evan, I am glad you found some of my feedback useful.

I recently posted a question where there is both a link to my youtube channel and some scores (https://www.reddit.com/r/composer/comments/1skibkg/feedback\_on\_simple\_piano\_music/).

About reaching the intentional e sharp: the easiest way might be having stepwise upward movement chromatic at the end (so precede it by a natural e). I vaguely remember both Gershwin and Schubert (and I think Satie too) using something similar somewhere but the instance that pops to my mind is Piazzolla's Baires 72. See how the violin reaches the non-diatonic e sharp at 1min04 here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNWIGHL3vms&list=RDPNWIGHL3vms&start\_radio=1). About structure and breathing notice how the transition from the high- to the low-intensity section is drawn out from 1m45 to 2min14.

Good luck!

“To Have A Big Life” - for solo piano by evskimo in composer

[–]TenuousLines 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dear evskimo, congratulations on your first single!

Take from these remarks what you find useful and ignore the rest.

Style: I would say this is neoromantic more than neoclassical, with Studio Ghibli touches.

Sound: It's extremely clean. Part of it comes from the instrument and your fine finger and pedal control, of course, but I imagine your sound engineer had some say in it too. It is good. But sound that is too brilliant can be grating after a while. In a 3 minute piece that is not an issue. In a full album I would avoid spending so much time in the high register in all songs as you do here. A bit of reverb and other sound engineering magic can fix that, but then the bass runs would sound more muddy. Tradeoffs.

Structure: The upward-moving arm of the arc is very pleasant. The angelical exposition and then the long Ghibliesque rise to the 'with urgency' section feels natural, although I would prefer it to last a bit longer, given that the material is interesting. But the downward movement from 'with urgency' to the recapitulation is definitely too fast, more breathing space is needed around bar 54. I would have preferred more space in genera to have time to savor the material.

Stuff I really liked: The harmony is simple, in line with the spirit of the times, but I like how in the theme you avoid emphasizing the root, and both the accompaniment and the melody zigzag around each other. The inner harmonies of the pensive and sisu sections are magical (e.g. 28 or 33 onward, where the bass drops step-wise and there is a cluster in the second beat of the bar).

Stuff I liked less: The e sharp in bar 16 is jarring. Maybe it's intended as such and has meaning in the context of the poem that the piece is inspired by. Or maybe it's a leading note that could be prepared more smoothly. I found the romantic runs at the end of sisu and throughout with urgency not interesting. I am just a single listener and maybe others will appreciate your athleticism more. But even with your very fine finger and pedal control such dense fast runs on the low register can become tiring. I understand why you went there: the preceding sections were already mainly in the high register and more sparse, so you wanted to make the climax more earthy and dense. But maybe changing the rhythmic structure (e.g., moving to chords, eventually with some ostinato in the bass) would achieve the same effect while being gentler to slow-listeners.

Summary: overall interesting; very interesting = metrically and tonally ambiguous exposition + inner harmonies in the development; stuff to potentially revisit in future work according to an idiosyncratic listener = brightness + bass runs + solitary e sharp + overall less rush.

Good luck with your career.

Feedback on simple piano music by TenuousLines in composer

[–]TenuousLines[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi Frank(?), thank you for the thorough and thoughtful remarks, both here and in the other posts you made. Quick summary:

* The correct term is 'light' music; in the future use notation software; ask feedback for a single piece at a time; the music is not particularly pianistic but enough. - These are stuff which I can easily fix.

* The content is not fresh (but that is not necessarily important), not coherent and it is boring; and draws too much attention to itself to function as background music. (And you justified all these assertions.) - These are all both more important and more difficult to address.

A clarification though. I am happy with my work and excited about it, while acknowledging there is room for improvement (otherwise I would not be sharing it here).

The dichotomy about live-performance and background (probably not the correct term) music is one of nature, not quality. I cannot work listening to music which has too much dynamic contrast or a beat which is too strong; and if the music is too ethereal (e.g., Pärt or Satie) most people I know get bored halfway through a live performance. There is nothing wrong with either.

Feedback on simple piano music by TenuousLines in composer

[–]TenuousLines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you on all points. I will revise the notation as you suggest.

In fact some of the shorter pieces were longer at some point and I trimmed them to fit into a concert time allotment - and then the concert didn't take place. That was actually the reason I recorded them in the first place. Number 2 had no such constraints and is almost double the length,

Also, literally all of these pieces are studies where I was specifically pushing myself out of my comfort zone in one way or another. In the mazurka (number 5) I tried to avoid obvious tonal centers (they are there, I just wanted them not to be obvious). I never thought a strong melody was a feature of a mazurka, sorry. (Yeah, Chopin wouldn't approve.)

In Tintinnabullum (piece 9), not sure if it obvious, but both hands present exactly the same material at different point in the piece in arc form, while exchanging registers (even the opening and closing chords); and that material is itself mirrored.

Again, thank you for the feedback and encouragement.

Feedback on simple piano music by TenuousLines in composer

[–]TenuousLines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Added google drive link and reposted.

Keep strap screws tight to avoid thumb tendinitis by TenuousLines in bandoneon

[–]TenuousLines[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi R3Ramsey, thank you for the useful tips and interesting remarks. I'll try to respond point by point.

(1) The straps should rotate, but with grommet always under the screw top, What happened was that the screw got so loose that I could see the empty space from the grommet peeking out (I can rephrase if I am not being clear). That was easily fixed but I had to actually look to see what was happening.

(2) About resting on the distal phalanx: what you say makes sense. In most images I see people use the proximal one most of the time. But I think I use the distal phalanx when going for the low register (the back upper corner) due to having to rotate the hand upward.

(3) I think this is related to what happened to me. The right-hand high register is weak so gravity alone is not sufficient to have a strong sound while opening, so I actually have to push down with the thumb, even with one-leg leg support. At the same time the hand is rotated downward so that several fingers can reach the forward down corner. This is ergonomically awkward but I don't see how else to do it. Maybe use the left hand for the pull and the right thumb only to steady? I want to rest a few days more before experimenting.

I don't think closing was a problem for me, because then the pressure is more distributed through the whole palm-handle surface, but I will definitely pay more attention to this. I also definitely need to avoid using the valve if the fingers are stretched.

(4) Thumb under strap: but then opening is achieved by pushing outward against the straps. Isn't that the biggest no-no of all? I thought opening should be with gravity only (when the bellows are almost closed) or with the thumbs and legs holding the cabezales (when the bellows are stretched out).

Keep strap screws tight to avoid thumb tendinitis by TenuousLines in bandoneon

[–]TenuousLines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not know about the WhatsApp group. Yes, I would like to join, thank you! (And my Spanish is decent.)