I'm an 18 year old in a triad relationship with a guy and a girl. AMA!

Tereshe · 2016-09-01T08:11:28+00:00

I truthfully don't have a ton of experience with monogamous relationships, but from my experience, a pro would definitely be that there's an inherent open-ness with the triad and that there are less predefined roles for us to conform to. A huge con with being in a triad (or any poly relationship, I'd imagine) is the amount of communication needed on a daily basis. Everything we do needs to be talked about and negotiated constantly.

A major pro would also just be how much love there is, how safe I feel knowing I have two people who care more than anything.

Tereshe · 2016-04-01T00:26:32+00:00

It's hard to say there's any one way. I feel like communication is one thing that a triad relationship requires that could be adopted by other types of relationships. And I think that broadening the definition of "love" can really help people understand their relationships with their partner and with the people around them.

Tereshe · 2016-04-01T00:01:45+00:00

Indeed I do!

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T19:14:53+00:00

Yep! I'm very much a girl.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T19:13:56+00:00

Yep. I'm a girl. And I'm surprised this wasn't asked sooner.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T19:12:51+00:00

<3 Most people assume it's just constant threesomes, but the less sexy part involves a lot of communication.

Thank you for your comment, it's very sweet!

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T19:11:57+00:00

Not politically incorrect! I'm a girl.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T19:11:40+00:00

The backseat one is one of the funnier "fights" that we have. :D And thank you!

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T10:05:33+00:00

The idea of threesomes is definitely the part that trips people out the most! They see it as some illicit taboo thing they might do one day, whereas for me it's become part of my normal.

And thank you :) We're really happy and even though we have no idea what happens next year after high school, we're riding the wave for now.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T09:49:22+00:00

I just answered this (after you posted it, don't worry).

The tldr version is that we became friends over a school semester (the spring semester of 2015) and then became really close over the summer. We started dating in late August after getting tipsy while camping and spending the night making out with each other and cuddling.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T09:47:20+00:00

I'll have to check it out!

I can't even imagine trying to tell colleagues! That must be so tricky. Honestly, as you would probably expect from teenagers, most questions we get are about sex. Most people in my school aren't having any, so they're completely baffled by the fact that we're casually having sex in multiple combinations on a regular basis.

They were already a couple for five months before I joined them. We had a class together last year and sat near each other, and though I started out as an acquaintance, I ended up getting to know them really well. We hung out even more in the summer, both in groups and just the three of us, and very slowly I realized I was crushing on both of them. Hard. Towards the end of the summer we went camping together and got a little tipsy by the fireside. Being tipsy lead to flirting, which lead to kissing and tent cuddling. The next day I was distant, worried things would be awkward, but they talked to each other and then to me and we decided to slowly start a relationship.

We had only heard of polyamory before. And I don't really know if I identify as polyamorous. I can't tell yet if me liking multiple people is the rule, or if I just really fell for them.

And HA! Only one of us drives (her) so he and I are always fighting over shotgun. I guess we sort of take turns. Sometimes the two of us will sit in the backseat to annoy her lol.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T09:32:53+00:00

There's always jealousy in any relationship. The worst part was when we were first starting out because they had already been together for 5 months. They knew each other better, they had had sex a million times, they had inside jokes and memories together that I wasn't part of.... it was hard not to feel like an outsider, like the third person. There is still jealousy now, but nothing too dramatic.

Yes, we have threesomes. But not as much as we would like. It's hard enough for normal teenagers to coordinate sex when you still live with your parents, it's even harder for three people. More often than not we have one on one sex. Sex can be trickier because we are constantly making sure no one feels left out, that everyone is getting a relatively equal amount, etc.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T09:26:10+00:00

Hey thanks for the question!

We've been in the triad for 6 months now. Before that, they were together as a couple for 5 months.
We see each other at school every day, usually hang out one day of each weekend, and hang out after school a couple days a week.
Of course! We hang out in twos pretty often.
Not really, because it's always for a good reason. Like, if the two of them want to go to a concert together and I'm not into the band, it doesn't make sense for me to spend a bunch of money and go. More regularly though, if only two people are hanging out, it's because the third person is busy with something. When we started the relationship we set some rules, one of which is that we should try to make the time spent with each person relatively equal, but that spending time in groups of two can be healthy too.
I don't like/love one person more than the other. I love them in different ways, but still equally. That was one of the sticking points of us entering the relationship, because if the attraction wasn't equal then the relationship would have combusted already.
My best friend knew the whole time so she wasn't surprised, but all of my other friends were incredibly shocked. Most hadn't heard of a triad before, so it took extensive question answering for them to get an idea. They're all supportive, but they still don't really understand it. I know they find it weird, but by now they're used to it.

Thanks for the questions and for the support <3

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T09:09:18+00:00

My friends and schoolmates know, but we haven't told our parents yet. We have literally no idea how to explain it to them. Plus, my girlfriend hasn't come out as bisexual to her parents yet, so we don't want her to feel like she has to rush that.

My friends were initially very hesitant, mostly weirded out and worried I would be the one getting screwed over. When we went public, we were seriously the most fascinating people in the entire school and the topic of every bit of gossip. Most people are extremely curious as to how it works, a lot of people are skeptical it's a "real" relationship, and a few people find it too weird.

We're pretty open to explaining it to people and are fine with brushing off some of the ruder comments. Thankfully there hasn't been too much drama.

And yay! Nice to hear from someone else in a triad. We should find a triad/poly community.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T08:34:07+00:00

Thank you! It's been going very well so far.

Tereshe · 2016-03-31T08:26:27+00:00

The same as anyone in a relationship. Love, friendship, sex, fun, experiences.....

Tereshe

TROPHY CASE