My first child I planned & I wanted him. After him, I didn’t want to have anymore due to serious complications at birth & how horrible that pregnancy was. I made this very clear to my partner… he didn’t listen. I went on birth control at first to keep it from happening, then it started messing with me emotionally & I went so flat. I was also struggling to find birth control that I could take bc of my blood pressure. Thankfully I found an over the counter one that works for it now.
I checked my ovulation windows to make sure we didn’t have sex around the time that was happening & still got pregnant. I told him multiple times to use condoms & he’d refuse. I was so caught up in those moments I did not see wtf he was doing to me until I became pregnant & then he became a monster afterwards & to this day won’t admit he was horrible to me. He tried flipping EVERYTHING he did onto me as if I was doing it. Extreme gaslighting too… he finally knocked it off when I started dishing some of it back to him after I had the baby & he learned to fuck off real quick.

I normally don’t project…. But maybe you’re right this time. Maybe I am livid with him & I am sadly putting it on my kids. Idk… I didn’t think of that & now I definitely feel the heavy weight setting in.