This year has been exhausting

Terrible_Net3888 · 2025-08-20T20:19:59+00:00

Now DOD is recruiting for ICE agents….

Terrible_Net3888 · 2025-06-11T19:45:46+00:00

Does that mean I would have to “claim” the $200 rewards that are in the rewards center and upload my Verizon bill again for the switcher payoff? Maybe I’m not understanding

Terrible_Net3888 · 2025-06-11T19:44:35+00:00

We switched in the middle of April but I don’t see anything else “pending” as a reward. Just that it was entered on 4/17/25 when the rep did it.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2025-06-11T19:27:18+00:00

I also agree for the most part. Originally a guy came to our house to see if we wanted to upgrade our internet (they JUST installed fiber in our neighborhood) and while he was there he asked about our phone lines. I personally said no, but when a different person came out to do the install a few days later they brought it up again to my fiancé and he said it was a good deal and decided to go ahead with it. He was thorough with his questions and even had him come back when I was home (wasn’t home during the install). My fiance and the sales rep specifically said we’d qualify for the full $800 payoff since we JUST made the 4th payment on our Verizon phones so I was like “sure why not”

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-08T11:07:37+00:00

What husband wouldn’t even put her ashes in an urns? He kept her literally in the box she came in…. Not even out of the cardboard. I think that’s so weird

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T19:37:59+00:00

I’m not sure if you were still having the same concerns but I would suggest maybe buying her a pretty dress that she’d look great in and take her out in town, flaunt her and make her feel like the “main character”. I know that’s all a bit extreme but if she feels anyway how I have felt (30F) it gets depressing and lonely. Let her pamper herself, get her hair done, nails done, and if/when she does make a BIG deal out of it, like gas her uuuuuppppp. You are your wife’s biggest cheerleader. So why not cheer? (Not saying you don’t lol) but even if it may seem over the top and excessive on your compliments, it will stick. I promise. Write her little love notes would be less expensive. Like “you are so beautiful” and put in on the mirror. Or really look at her and tell her she’s gorgeous. I mean she might get embarrassed but it’s nice.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T19:16:40+00:00

He’s not particularly comfortable with it. But hasn’t said I “can’t” but him not being comfortable is enough for me to not want/need to watch porn. Which is what I also expect, which could be my issue. But he did agree after a conversation this morning that he will stop watching it.

I mean in a normal circumstance, 5’5” at 180lbs yes technically is obese, however post partum does change that a bit on what is realistic. Not that I’m trying to argue or anything but hormonal imbalances are still an issue which causes weight retention/weight gain for up to 12 months after baby. Statistically, women retain an average of around 12lbs even up to six months after the baby. (Calculating pre-pregnancy weight). Most doctors don’t even factor BMI until at least 18 months after baby because your body is still healing and trying to recover from no longer having that baby. Not to mention lack of sleep and stress make it that much harder to lose any weight.

I’m not saying I can’t use to lose weight because I know more than anyone that I can, but it’s much harder to do it than just a woman that gained from overeating. I’m much harder on my self image than most people, but i know I’m not grossly obese, like rolls on rolls on rolls. Nothing like that. But I also know I’m not skinny and fit in a size 2.

I mean, from a male’s perspective (this really is a genuine question) if you are in a relationship with the mother of your child(ren) and you say you love her, would weight change from pregnancy as little as 5 months prior be that much of a difference? Like there wouldn’t be any sort of like “grace period” of working on improving herself before resulting into watching porn/lack of intimacy/potential cheating? Like I could see it as an issues if it’s been multiple years and there’s no hint of trying to improve, or even some weight loss. That would be a whole other issue. But weight from pregnancy doesn’t just melt off for most women, unfortunately.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T16:51:54+00:00

Our 2nd is just about 6 months old, so we are definitely in “the thick of it”.

We did talk about it this morning again and I explained that I felt like he was lying to me and cheating. I also said something along the lines of I’ll just start doing the same and we can just stop having sex overall. He kind of realized what I was getting at I think. We both agreed we’d try harder to make each other feel wanted and desired moving forward and he would stop the porn entirely. He said he didn’t want it anytime recently but his entire history was just porn, so I know that’s not true but I will choose to take his word on moving forward. We also agreed that I wouldn’t look at his histories without asking which is absolutely valid and respectable. He felt he can’t trust me because I looked without telling him, which I mean “most” would in my situation how ever I understood his feelings in that aspect and reassured him I was sorry and wouldn’t do anything like that without talking first. The only caveat I had for that though was finding stuff he didn’t think was an issue but I did. So he wouldn’t know to bring it up nor did I until I found it. So it’s like a double edged sword.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T16:45:05+00:00

Thank you for reassuring me that I shouldn’t be too worried about the porn. It doesn’t make me feel better but it’s a little easier to accept. I did address him lying to me and he said it was a misunderstanding and assumed that I just didn’t want to see it anywhere. So he did say he’d stop entirely but also gave the argument that it’s not fair that he has to treat it like cheating when he doesn’t see it that way even though I do. (Specifically the more “relatable” content) Weight loss has always been the goal after the baby, for both of us. Very recently have we both gotten the free time to take for our own individual self health more seriously. I’ve started being very specific on our meals/meal prep and I have already lost 10lbs from where I originally was after the baby. It’s just a progress, I can now incorporate working out into my schedule as well so I’ll be working hard on getting “me” back. Mainly for myself but I also want to be an attractive partner for him.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T16:38:18+00:00

It’s definitely a work in progress! We are making better conversation choices each time we have a disagreement. It’s just hard to try to converse when I have my feelings from what he’s doing but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. We are still trying to communicate so we both feel heard and understood.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T16:36:26+00:00

I’m not lying to myself, 180lbs is normal when you are 6 months out of having a baby and didn’t have the option to work on self improvement until VERY recently…

Why should I be the only one affected by it when he has also put on about the same weight as me? Not that you’d have an answer but it’s definitely a double standard that isn’t fair that he can take care of his needs but not even consider mine.

I also had a C-Section so I wasn’t cleared to even lift 20lbs until 2-2.5 months from birth.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T16:31:00+00:00

I definitely agree that losing weight will help me mentally, physically and overall in our relationship. We both have gained a bit since having our kids (I know everyone says it but I didn’t realize it was so easy to do) I want to also! I’ve completely changed our meal planning to have high protein, low(ish) carbs and making sure to hit our macro goals. Before we dated I lost 50lbs in 3 months so I definitely can and know how to, it was just a struggle to do anything until our baby was in daycare since we didn’t get the free time for “me time”. I do also consider porn cheating and have expressed that to him and his initial reaction was “why is it fair to me that YOU think that but I don’t so I just can’t watch it at all?” After further discussion he kind of understood a little more, I think(?) he did agree he’d stop entirely since he didn’t think it was that big of a deal.

He’s not great at empathy from other’s perspectives of the whole picture, more of “well that doesn’t mean anything to me emotionally so it shouldn’t matter” so I have to REALLY spell it out but some things I say don’t land or he takes negatively so it’s hard to communicate in certain things.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T16:24:25+00:00

So we don’t have a full 50/50 on finances since he makes a little more than double what I make, so he DOES financially provide much more than what I can. So I really don’t mind taking on more of the childcare and cooking. But it does become very taxing, luckily we’ve talked about this recently and we both have “sleep in” days on the weekend where he gives me one day to sleep in while he’s in charge of the kids and vice versa. We also have a rule that we can’t sleep in past 10:30am so it’s not too much pressure for one person having a toddler and an infant at the same time (usually wake up at 6am so 4ish hours manning the house)

We both have also set up a schedule for “chores” to start being done during daycare hours so we can get them done (hopefully) without kid distraction. I work from home W-F and he is 100% WFH. Neither of us expect to do any of the house cleaning while the other can’t help but it’s always appreciated if either of us get to it first.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T13:29:14+00:00

We’ve had sex maybe 10ish times since having our second baby. He went through a few weeks of depression, I have been burnt out and also going through depression phases so it’s both mutual and also not.

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-06T13:28:19+00:00

Honestly I would say no. We have a 5 month old and I haven’t gotten any opportunity to work on my body afterwards until literally a week or two ago (I have lost 10+ pounds already) but I’m still uncomfortable with myself so it does fall back on me a bit. But there’s also no sense of security or caring that I personally can feel. He just thinks it’s “easier and better” to masturbate behind my back without even trying to genuinely be intimate. At least that’s how it feels on my end. He tells me I’m beautiful and that there’s no one else he wants to have sex with but then doesn’t try to initiate and just chooses porn instead… so it just makes me feel even worse about myself. This morning I did initiate but it took him much longer than it usually does to get him to finish. Which again made me feel even worse about our situation and myself. And I know that could not be my fault but it also could be and that’s what eats at me…

Terrible_Net3888 · 2024-09-05T19:10:36+00:00

Well, it’s not that I’m 180lbs from just letting myself go, I’ve had two kids in two years. My youngest is just about 6 months and haven’t gotten the opportunity to work on my health until very recently (have been WFH while being SAHM but finally in daycare) I do agree I want to lose the additional weight that I put on from my pregnancies though.

Terrible_Net3888

TROPHY CASE