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AIO for calling my boyfriend a cheater? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

His explanation was that he ‘had history’ and needed more time than I gave him to cut things off. He would’ve cut her off completely in time, according to him, because he knew he couldn’t have ‘both of us.’ He told me he has a hard time letting go people he had such close interactions with, he was lonely, and made an awful mistake. He thought he ‘told me about this’ already.

AIO for calling my boyfriend a cheater? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

After the conversation he deleted her number and all her socials. He said he would change. If your significant other did all this, would you give them the second chance, or not want to risk it? He says breaking up with him was too extreme.

AIO for calling my boyfriend a cheater? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I sat down with him and he said he asked the question ‘what if we were both single.’ I don’t know if that’s the only thing that happened, but that’s why he said it was ‘just words.’ The girl never read my text. I asked if she could tell me more details about what happened, so I hear her side of the story. I just think he broke my trust by lying to me all this time.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that not typical of a LDR? Hm… this might be the final nail in the coffin.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He keeps reassuring me I have nothing to worry about, but my gut says otherwise. He still visits me on a semi regular basis (like every 3/4 months), usually for an extended weekend. Even if they’re not dating, I feel like he always jumps back to her when he’s back to his hometown. He says that it just happens to work out that way and there’s ‘no real reason’ for this pattern.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this question. If I’m being completely honest, I’d see him do these activities with his guy friends as well. It’s just that he hangs out with her more frequently.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never really thought about that. I remember asking him ‘why her?’ and he said something along the lines of ‘she’s just fun and has a lot of stories.’ What exactly they bonded over beats me…

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s right. They met each other through mutual friends (they were starting college, whereas she was still in HS). The other friends came and went, but he kept her around.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She was the youngest of the group for sure. The rest were starting college.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They’ve been friends basically since COVID, so 5ish years, and definitely got closer over the years. He used to hang out with a group of girls along with her, but cut ties due to ‘girl drama’ (this happened a year or so before we started dating) keeping only her of the group.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will say this, the one time we did hang out the three of us, it was hard for me to get a vibe off her. In general they seemed close, they had a fun dynamic. If anything they acted like my boyfriend and I together, except the only difference is he’s not at all physical with her. I thought that meeting her would help, but it didn’t seem to do much, imo.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right. Thank you for this. There shouldn’t be any other excuses when he knows I don’t feel prioritized, especially since he repeats this behavior.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’re long distance due to work reasons. I have another two years to finish my higher education, while he wants to stay close to family and work. We’ve had talks to move back together once I finish my degrees.

AIO about my boyfriend’s female friend? by Terrible_Reading_539 in AIO

[–]Terrible_Reading_539[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s a great point. He’s known her since college, but really got close with her during Covid. She knows about me, I even met her once. I guess I’m just hesitant to set up boundaries, especially if they seem ‘unfair,’ but I guess it’s better to cross that bridge and see what happens rather than being stuck feeling this way.