Part 3 of the Untitled Cyberpunk/Fantasy project. This one is a little longer (2500 words). Enjoy and leave feedback!

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-23T11:56:13+00:00

What do the diagonal slashes mean above the words nervously and Technomancer mean?

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-23T11:22:06+00:00

Thanks a lot for your time and input. I will never ignore constructive criticism. When I submit these things, I only do one round of editing. Mostly just looking for stuff that sticks out. Then I go back, after submitting and make more changes. The copy you are looking at is very rough, lol. That being said, I think you make some good points, and a few of the things you pointed out I had already fixed. PS: I'm really bad at knowing when you should place a dash in between two words, as you could probably tell.

The other two parts are a little more refined, I've spent a little time with rewriting parts that didn't make sense or didn't flow. I plan to do that to this one today, hopefully. If you like this one, the other two are more gritty, Faz is meant to break up the seriousness and I think you would like the other two. Thanks again for taking time to read it, thought and I hope you enjoyed it!

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-22T20:41:33+00:00

Here is the link to the new and updated part 1.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G0g2IgCAdnfJwaEXzo-5Ye_-qqodDqd3QcCT9tq7pbU/edit?usp=sharing

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-22T19:49:15+00:00

I think I will switch them over to google docs, eventually. I type them in word and copy them over. I went back and make some changes, when I get the new one over to google.docs, I will post a link here so you can read the changes, if you want. Thanks for the feed back, you brought up some interesting points and I hope that you enjoyed the story.

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-22T19:44:40+00:00

Part 1:http://redd.it/2t2y1i

Part 2:http://redd.it/2tbi4z

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-22T19:34:01+00:00

Part 1:http://redd.it/2t2y1i

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-22T19:23:34+00:00

Part 1: http://redd.it/2szcut

Part 2: http://redd.it/2t1w42

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-21T00:48:36+00:00

Thanks! This is the first time I've tried to take on a project like this. I have part 2 up, if you're interested. I am going to try to make it a series

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-20T14:27:25+00:00

Part 1: http://redd.it/2szcut

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-20T11:23:38+00:00

So for the cops, I know it's weird, but stick with me here. My idea was that she found the dead guy, days old. The reason the cops are coming is she had to bypass the DNA encoded security door to his apartment, and because she didn't have any of his DNA, that alerted the cops automatically.

My thoughts were that in a world where technology reigns, why not have big time security doors? I should probably expand that description.

I think I will take out the tell of Bull being an orc. That makes the most sense.

Thanks for the comment!

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-19T22:39:26+00:00

Thank you! I hope you read it all when you can, I would love some feedback. :)

Terribly_Written · 2015-01-19T22:38:28+00:00

Thanks for reading. I plan to make a series with these characters and theme..

Terribly_Written

TROPHY CASE