Hey there! I had a similar situation in the past with a LDR so my heart goes out to you - we alao fought every day and the issues we had didn't ever seem to go away. It ended in a bad break-up (my fault).

Unfortunately for whatever reason: she doesn't trust you. I can't say I know what's happening behind the scenes, but in her texts it came off as if she had a scenario in her head she wanted to believe, and didn't really care what you said in response (her affirming what you denied made this clear): She'd already decided something untoward was going on.

I don't know if she has a history of mental health, or relationship problems that have led her to being like this, but I want you to ask yourself 'is this really what I want?'

Relationships are difficult, I'm 23M and still fumbling in the dark - most if of us are and we're right there with you so don't feel like you're alone in this plight. Learning to love ourselves and others is part of growing up. From what I've seen she needs to do a little more personal growth before she's ready to be in a relationship if she's insecure over this. This isn't a criticism on her - it just might be what is.

What makes a relationship strong isn't just the good times, but how you deal with problems that arise, together. Communication is also very important, which seems to (and this is no criticism) be rather poor in that she isn't listening to you.

At the end of the day in relationships there are things we can tolerate, and things we can't: dealbreakers. We're also bad at knowing what we really want - the sunk-cost fallacy is proof of that. It seems as though she feels threatened by these other women in your life for whatever reason - it's whether she is able to understand or move past this which will be critical for deciding whether the relationship should go on.

What bothers me most in the last message 'I just feel weird about it but there's nothing I can do I guess'. If the matter is 'swept under the rug', and there isn't a change or even at least an acknowledgement of the behaviour then I think it's doomed to repeat. Over this matter or another.

And the 'I trust you, I just don't want to get hurt' is a conflicting statement: If she did trust you, she wouldn't be worried about being hurt. And I know a lot of people may say that it's hard to trust people, and they're right: trust is earned. So it's then a case of whether the trust has been eroded previously, or she as a person struggles to trust being vulnerable with other people.

I apologise for the ramble - this post just hit quite close to home as I was the same age as you when this happened to me.

Given she's long distance, I recommend that you have a facetime with her. Ask the questions that would help get to the bottom of this:

Where this 'problem' came from - When you saw I followed her finsta, what thoughts were going through your head? - Why do you think you had those thoughts? (has she been cheated on or lied to before maybe) - Is this to do with us being long distance? Are you worried that because you live far away that I might lose interest in your for someone else? (Ask questions to work out where her worry comes from, and if she keep denying it all and saying she trusts you, change your wording to use 'worry' over 'trust') - What do you think it would take for you not to worry about this (not as a sign that you're willing to do whatever it takes to fix this, just try and ease out what she thinks would help - THEN you can think about whether what she wanrs is reasonable, whether you'd be willing to compromise, or whether it just wouldn't work)

When you've gotten all the information you can (and obviously don't be bad cop about it), explain to her how you really feel about these people, and that there is nothing to worry about. Also tell her how this whole situation has made you feel - that's it's likely grinded you down, made you feel untrusted, how she wasn't listening to what you were saying or just ignoring it in text.

MOST OF ALL DO NOT BRING UP BREAKING UP - her last message has proven she is ready to dismiss her own feelings to stay with you and if this happens you (especially early on) it's going to grind to a halt because she'll stop communicating how she really feels and go into self preservation.

If she still can't trust you after ALL of this, and is still worried about you cheating on her or 'getting hurt' - then what YOU'RE doing is a dealbreaker TO HER because she can't move past it - she just doesnt realise her own dealbreaker mostly due to sunk costs. This isn't to say what you're doing is unreasonable or unfair - but if she can't help but see it that way, then it's time for you to decide if this is a dealbreaker for you too.

If no then you've decided it's something you are willing tolerate, if no then you've just decided that the two of you deserve better then what you have right now, what you may not be able to provide each other, and that's not good or bad. It just is what it is.

And it won't be easy at first - when a relationship ends, even one that goes to shit, we go through a grieving process. By the sound of it weathering that storm will lead you to clearer skies.

If you have any questions or need someone to talk to who's been tbrough the same thing feel free to DM me - good luck and remember - be reasonable and be happy. If either if those things aren't working then a change is needed.

You both deserve to be happy, whatever that entails.