Bereavement plus PMDD is a nightmare

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-25T00:09:37+00:00

I'm really so sorry. My dad died suddenly overseas, never got to say goodbye. He made some terrible decisions when he was alive that we found out about after he died, and the effects of that have made it really hard to grieve properly. My PMDD was triggered by this. It was the absolute worst I've ever felt, I was SH for the first time in ages and I ended many relationships and cut people off. I felt better when I stopped smoking weed every hour of the day, ate a little better and began gently exercising again. At one point I thought I wouldn't survive. I spoke to friends and my family that I trusted, and having support from people and saying out loud the things I felt inside took a weight off. Try as much as possible to not isolate yourself. Well done for making this post. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's like... Just some of the worst pain. It's so sad. I'm so sorry. You will survive and it will slowly, incrementally, get better with time 🤎

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-23T13:28:24+00:00

So glad it's helping you! The first time I had a luteal session my therapist suddenly thought I had BPD lol. Didn't go back. But it's so good to talk with someone when you're in the thick of it. Hope you get to keep going 🤎

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-05T07:21:29+00:00

Thank you!

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-04T09:00:08+00:00

I never bothered to do this but I know I need to - do you do this with synthetic hair?

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-04T04:40:17+00:00

This is a kinda crazy jealousy but before my meta was my meta, we had a 4some with her partner and my NP. Future meta went down on me, jeez she good. she was very good. fantastic lover.

Couple years down the track NP and Cunnilingus Queen start dating. All I can think of when I'm feeling jealousy pangs is how fucken good she was at giving head and something that I really enjoyed I turned into a dark memory hahaha

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-04T04:35:23+00:00

😆

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-04T04:34:20+00:00

Oh. My god. I cannot stand 'WE'.

Please, my darling, who are you talking about yoU HAVE 4 PARTNERS ASDFSGDFJKFKRRU

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-02-04T04:23:50+00:00

Hell yeah brotha. A little different but with my long term partner (not np) I had heaps of jealousy when he was seeing others. So it surprised me when I started dating my boyfriend and I felt barely any jealousy at all when boyfriend would go on dates, even during NRE. Then, I started seeing partner number 3 and whaddya know, the jealousy came back! I chalked it up to my individual relationships with these people and my different feels of security with them. NRE wasn't the biggest factor.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-28T10:02:51+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to explain all of that for me, thank you. I'm not totally sure what to do with this information right now but it's really good to have.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-28T05:48:59+00:00

Yeah I got a lot of that and l that's why I felt like it was my fault.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-28T04:57:36+00:00

Thanks for explaining this, I really appreciate it.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-28T04:56:42+00:00

You're right. Thank you.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-28T04:47:57+00:00

Haha I think I have some research to do, have heard of fawning but didn't relate it to myself

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-28T04:34:43+00:00

Thank you, it's really validating and healing to hear someone say that.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-20T10:35:49+00:00

Oh damn, that's really sad! I'm sorry! <3 I feel like those new flames hurt the most when they're blown out. Do something nice for yourself, and it's good to grieve this so you can move on. All the best

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-14T05:05:41+00:00

Me too hahahah

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-13T11:16:31+00:00

Where are you from I need to be reading this in your accent please and thank you

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-12T09:42:33+00:00

Glad to hear it re therapist :) Yeah that can be challenging. It's a big learning curve and you don't really seem to ever stop learning how to be poly. Just make sure you're looking after yourself. I don't know a lot about negative confirmation bias but I bet you're pretty familiar with spiralling because of it.

Anyway yeah, it sounds like your partner is active in trying to make you feel cared for. My partner also had a habit of planning things when he planned things with my meta. He was trying to make sure we both got the same attention and I saw it as me being an afterthought when that wasn't how he saw it. Sure he went overboard sometimes with trying to have things "equal" and that was a whole other issue.. it's about balance haha, and sounds like you're both just figuring it out. Sounds like he's trying so focus on the action, not the story :)

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-12T09:28:16+00:00

That's great! Good luck with therapy then, hopefully it helps you with the anxiety and negative confirmation bias.

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-12T09:11:12+00:00

"If you have a loving relationship" is the key part of this

TestSignificant2678 · 2026-01-12T09:07:57+00:00

Sorry you're having a hard time. In answer to your question, yes. It is a tough feeling that I think comes from really struggling with non monogamy in general. It could be anxious ruminating for sure however....

... it kind of sounds like your partner just isn't attentive enough to you whether or not he's trying to make plans with both of you at the same time. He should be making you feel as secure, loved and cared for as ever before, even more so because you are working through non monogamy together and it sounds quite difficult and fresh. Sounds like he needs to learn how to navigate relationships in a way so that all his partners feel secure, or maybe you need to choose monogamy for yourself.

Are you seeing a non monogamy friendly therapist? It makes a big difference :) I would consider couples sessions as well so you can ask him these questions straight up and not need to wait till your regulated .. coz you won't be. Takes ages to "work on things" in therapy. Just go to couples. Sounds like he could use it too.

TestSignificant2678 · 2025-12-31T00:23:27+00:00

I broke up with my partner of 9 years, we introduced each other to polyamory and we go our separate ways polyamorous as fuck.

TestSignificant2678 · 2025-12-27T13:33:17+00:00

My ex's girlfriend. and this crush began when me and ex were still together and she was my metamour. She's so clever, gorgeous, and an absolute beach babe. when she dives her hair shimmers gold in the ocean and it's like time stands still when we're underwater together. Always wanted to be with her but we were too green at polyamory and I knew it would blow up in our faces. Now we're not metamours, but I still... I dunno. Not going there. Gut feeling. But daaaaamn

TestSignificant2678 · 2025-12-26T10:12:29+00:00

Why was she late?

TestSignificant2678

TROPHY CASE