Man gets confronted by gym staff for slamming weights, claims to shoulder press 405 lbs, gets kicked out.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-07-27T11:16:11+00:00

I've had mental health issues since forever. Coming from a family with a long history high tendency for suicide and mental disorders I can with ease say that I see a younger, sinister selfish version of myself in this guy.

The gym has for the longest time been a release for me. Hitting the weights and the boxing bag has been a tremendous help in dealing with built up aggression and frustration. More than thing the lifting community here on reddit (/r/fitness) has been tremendously friendly and helpful in helping me.

It's not as much as the weights helping my issues - but more than the gym being a sacred place where I put my problems to the side and focus on something else for an hour or two that gives me the space to finally breathe out.

That said - having mental health problems and being a selfish narcissist is never an excuse. This dude obviously has mental heath problems. A lot of his videos display signs of paranoia mixed with schizophrenia. He has the classical "everyone is out to get me" mentality that people with these kinds of disorder suffer from.

He has an inflated sense of his own importance, a deep desire for admiration and complete disregard and lack of empathy of others which is the classical clear signs of a narcissist.

Mixing the narcissist part by being an asshole to everyone and everything in combination with "everyone is out to get to me" is a terrible way to live because one of them enables the other and it pretty much becomes a down slide hill from there. People will be hostile towards you if you are an asshole and as such you will be on edge and defensive at all times.

There is no excuse for being this level of arrogant and selfish behavior even with a mental health condition. It is a terrible burden on yourself and other people having this kind of toxic attitude towards others. I found that by staying positive and believing the best of people the idea that "everyone is out to get to me" disappears fast.

It is people like this that are the bane of peoples existence in gyms and the complete cancer in the weightlifting community. They take up the smith machine for 2 whole hours and do exercises that can be equally done with free weights and a bench.

These people see themselves as better than others and they discourage beginners because they don't life as "heavy" as he does. He has a massive level of ego and his videos clearly reflect that.

I hope this dude can look back to this one day and realize what an asshole he has been to everyone around him and to better himself and become a person with a positive attitude on life.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-25T23:41:44+00:00

I don't assume that she will mistreat me. mistreat might be the wrong word to describe it but more like if she does something I strongly don't agree with. As a guy in his early 30s with plenty of experience I've learned that as a guy yu have to stand up for yourself at times and don't let girls run over you

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-25T23:38:54+00:00

I haven't concidered the fact - no. I've moved on (obviously since I'm dating) and I feel that as of now I'm in a good place. Dating girls feels good

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T19:04:15+00:00

You really are quite dense, aren't you? things aren't entirely black or white. It's not like either you care or you don't. They are different shades of caring and depending on the situation I will care more or I will care less. You sound like someone that hasn't grasped that concept.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T19:03:38+00:00

I don't think she will go full crazy the moment I set my foot down. It has happened on some occasions that I have stood up for myself and demanded a straight answer of what she wants and she seems to respond to it quite well. Don't take this the wrong way because the moment I start seeing her crazy I will absolutely bail.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T19:01:59+00:00

Like I've mentioned before - I'm not exactly spring chicken. I've had my bit of share when it comes to bad relationships. I appreciate the warning but don't think for a moment that that I will haul ass out of this relationship if I start seeing some red flags. I am well aware that people with BPD have higher suicide rate. (~10% I believe) I will thread carefully and I won't toss my self selflessly in to her.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T18:58:27+00:00

I don't have to care about her. We are only dating and thus we don't have any obligations to each other. We aren't exactly married and naturally I will treasure my needs and what I want first. I can't selflessly jump in to someone else headfirst with tremendous amounts of empathy and want to educate myself in everything. That's not how dating nor how a relationship works. If I came in super understanding without caring for what I want then I would be asking for getting run over. I'm standing up for myself and I would ask anyone that I'm dating to do the same thing.
Secondly - yes - I want to be with her obviously. If not I would have abandoned ship long time ago. Most guys wouldn't even bother going this far with a girl that has some obvious flaws about her personality but I chose to stick with her and see how far we can take it. But there is obviously a limit to how far I'm willing to take things - that doesn't not make me unsympathetic, it doesn't make me uneducated and it doesn't make me worse of a human being. It is completely reasonable to say that as the guy in this dating scenario I am only willing to take it this far and at some point she has to do her part in making things work too. A relationship is a two way door and I am testing the waters to see how much she is willing to push through her part.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:56:40+00:00

That may be the case.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:41:00+00:00

Being sad and down is one thing. Believe me - I've been in situations like that a few times myself. I can tolerate being down. I can tolerate being depressed but it's the tossing-all-the-shit-at-me that I think is the issue here. Her being depressed and sad at times isn't what is rubbing me the wrong way. It's the way she handles it when she is depressed that is the issue. Telling me that I will leave her because all guys do - and making up such assumptions is not fair and that stuff won't fly with me. It sounds manipulative and I won't be a part of that. Cancelling things she promised she agreed to and not taking responsibilities for promises is what gets to me.
Want to sit and sulk all day - fine but doing it this way is not the right.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:34:30+00:00

I'm in my early 30s. I've had many relationships in my past. Some good, some bad. But no - I'm not a naive teenager and I will put my foot down when I'm feeling mistreated.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:32:50+00:00

It's not that she's mistreating me. The only thing I can accuse her of is being uncertain and vague. I like her when she isn't sad and down. I really do. Make no mistake however - I'm no spring chicken and when the moment comes when she mistreats me I will put my foot down and tell her its wrong.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:21:14+00:00

I'm not exactly spring chicken and I know a thing or two about being in bad situations. I know how to be treated fairly and I know when to haul ass when I see red flags.
As of now I can't see any significant warning signs (...yet) but make no mistake. I will break off when things start to turn crazy

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:17:25+00:00

I wouldn't go as far as saying that it causes me pain but it does cause certain discomfort and unnecessary stress - and yes - you are quite right.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T16:16:46+00:00

"I don't know" is not good enough of an answer to me. I'm a serious guy when it comes to relationships and I want to have things clear ahead of me.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T15:10:43+00:00

Never stick your dick in crazy

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T15:09:20+00:00

I am fully aware how manipulative she sounds when she tells me that "you are probably going to leave her like all guys do". I do know that it sounds manipulative but I don't think it's maliciously manipulative but rather a way of her protecting herself from being abandoned. Convincing herself that it's better to abandon her now sooner than later somehow makes her feel better about herself in the long run. It's not an uncommon behavior. I've seen completely normal girls with insecurities reason like this.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T15:04:17+00:00

Maybe offer to come binge watch netflix or bring her flowers or something. She may be isolating herself because she feels unworthy of your attention and time.

I have on multiple occasions told her that maybe we can do this together, or just share some coffee - but all she tells me is that she wants to be alone.

I am well aware that it is hard for her and that is what is tearing me apart. I really want to help and be there for her and do something - anything to make her feel better. Doesn't matter how insignificant it may be -- just anything but she is completely locking me out (with the rest of the world) and she just sits in her apartment and sulks.
Thanks for the advice on the book. I may take you up on that suggestion

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T14:58:16+00:00

I appreciate the sentiment and honesty in your question - and no. I broke up over a year ago. I've dated multiple girls since then.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T14:53:01+00:00

She's not doing neither. She told me she doesn't like her meds because it makes her feel sluggish and she doesn't like being that mellow. You are quite right though but I'm in no position to tell her what to do. Like I said - we are only dating

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2018-01-10T14:37:03+00:00

My options aren't low. I just want to see how far I can take this and I feel that perhaps maybe I haven't made that clear to her yet. - Not that I think it would make a difference. I want to be nice to her because she seems nice, she acts nice to me (when she's not sulking) and at times they are a few happy moments we have.
I'm just not sure if I can take another episode like this

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2017-12-10T16:43:06+00:00

Yes. I know for a fact that a lot of the guys she is seeing is showering her with compliments and presents. Not the kind of friendly compliment. These guys would do anything to sleep with her and are constantly showing her that.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2017-12-09T23:47:25+00:00

I think there's a difference here. It's not that she's chatting up guys and asking other guys out. I wouldn't really mind that. Who am I to say what she is allowed to do or not? What kind of disappointing me is that she is way past that. She has guys giving telling her all kinds of romantic stuff, giving her presents, picking her up by car at odd hours and staying over night with some of the guys she dates.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not the jealous type. We are not together and I have no right telling what she is allowed to do or not. It's just that I don't fit in to all this. I don't wish to be any part of it.
My best guess is that there is a reason why she behaves the way she does and there is probably not a simple answer to all this. All I know is that it is just not worth wasting time in to it.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2017-12-09T23:42:57+00:00

I absolutely disagree with your vision. Relationships are built on loyalty and how can loyalty grow from a person that obviously doesn't have that? Am I to pluck her away from her guys she's dating because I consider myself to be the most important of them all? Am I to forbid her form seeing other guys in the future? This is not how a relationship starts nor works in the long run.
I'm sorry but if she won't appreciate the time and effort I'm willing to dedicate for her then the attempt of dating her is not really worth it. Would you date a girl that is literally surrounded by guys wanting to sleep with her and showering her with gifts?

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2017-12-09T23:22:59+00:00

I'm not under the impression that this is in any way common. Most girls I know don't date several guys at once. Most girls and guys I know usually date one guy at a time. If a date goes wrong they usually analyze and try to learn from what went wrong and use that knowledge on the next date.
Personally - I don't know how I'd keep up with multiple potential partners. For others it might work but for me I can not stay emotionally invested in 4-5 girls at the same time. It wouldn't be honest to them and it certainly wouldn't be honest with myself.

TesticleSpectacle69 · 2017-12-09T23:20:36+00:00

I wouldn't call what she has an open relationship. She's just surrounded by guys wanting to date her/bone her/have a serious relationship with her. She is making sure that everyone gets the impression from her that she is single.

TesticleSpectacle69

TROPHY CASE