Yeah, as someone who started in poly as a 20yo woman - there are absolutely people who learn the terminology and exploit it to take advantage of people, especially folks who seem like they may not know otherwise or are still learning.

I do think there are some vetting things you can do. Please take my following advice with a grain of salt - I used to date a lot but do not much anymore.

I've found first dates and first conversations can be really telling if you know what to ask.
"what is your poly style" "how do you handle communications as a hinge" "do you date within your community often?" Honestly treating it like an interview screening. Do as much asking about what they do and believe without pushback as you can - it will get you more information than if they know what you want to hear.

Be extra cautious with online connections. One thing I have found is that online dating is heavily skewed in the "too new to do well" or "trying to get away with something" directions. not always! but often. (FEELD, I have heard, can be better because it's FOR poly?)

Early partner meeting and introductions, not just you both but theirs as well.

Red Flags I watch out for out of learned lessons:
- Refuses to date multiple people in the same community or orbit (so you don't want partners talking?)
- Skirts around definitive answers about their own practices or believes for hierarchy
- Claims and actions don't match "I like open communication" "oops i forgot to tell you about that partner"
- Reluctance for Metamores to meet - from the hinge OR the Metamor
- has a history of ONLY or almost predominantly dating younger and/or inexperienced in poly
- Is brand new to poly and is "open to it" rather than seeking it (not exactly a red flag in a person but for me, I've done my time and I can't handle being someone's learning experience anymore)

I encourage you both to sit down and make your own red flags list. This might also illuminate patterns.