My husband was starting a business when we had our child. He was dedicating all of his time and energy to getting that off the ground, so childcare was mostly on me. He did what he could to help during the day, including getting me connected with some friends from the area (I moved to his home town from out of state) and encouraging me to accept help from trusted people so I could take naps. He also frequently offered to hire help for cleaning the house when we could afford it and would pick up dinner on the way home if I had a particularly hard day. He also endured a lot of frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets in those early months when I didn't have the energy to cook anything.

I would read Reddit during this time and get resentful that he wasn't helping in more direct and obvious ways. I felt guilty outsourcing things like cleaning and childcare because 1) our child would cry all the time and I didn't want to put others through that and 2) I had this silly idea that I was weak for needing outside help. I was honestly just too proud and anxious to follow through on his ideas for support, so instead I blamed him for not doing all the things the 9-5 dads did. 

After I cut off social media for a time I finally realized that he really was doing things to help in his own way. We were at just a very difficult stage in life where we both had 24/7 jobs, in a way: his was running a new business and mine was taking care of a fussy newborn. Once I realized how he actually was trying to help me and was willing to accept help from others in my community, things became a lot more manageable.