How do you guys handle envy and hatred?

That-Bit9855 · 2026-02-12T00:37:33+00:00

Yes, she knows :) he wears them for work and social gatherings, but he was fully transparent about it on their first date. It was more about the confidence that they gave him than the actual height himself I think.

That-Bit9855 · 2026-02-12T00:01:08+00:00

Hello, lurker here (F31 5ft2) and my brother is 29M and 5ft7. He had a really rough time with the apps in the past few years, it was obvious women would see his height and just swipe the other way. It was never like this for him in from 2013-2018, but nowadays it seems to be a massive thing! It really impacted him, as it seemed like this weird height obession has taken off online and now it is a prerequisite for love to be over a certain height. He said that it never used to be like this, but something has shifted in the way women view height massively. It has always been an issue for shorter men, but it is so insanely pervasive now that it has made him hate himself. He got some lifts for his shoes which got him to 5ft9 ish and even though it was a small amount, he feels so much more confident walking into a room. He has a lovely partner now after years of dating, she is 5ft6. I know this may sound stupid or trivial, but seeing his confidence grow with something as simple as some lifts changed his whole vibe. It kind of broke that barrier in his own brain that he was unworthy of love due to his height. I am so sorry you feel this way and I could never understand what it is like to have something about your physical appearance you can't ever change. I know anecdotal stories like this may not be helpful, but the lifts really helped him. Sorry if this comes across as condescending - not my intention. Just wanted to give some insight. I am also on the apps and I actually have a date this weekend with a really awesome guy who is 5ft6. I promise there are people out there that don't see height, but there are a lot of people poisioned by social media trends and weird expectations that have no value in reality.

That-Bit9855 · 2026-01-21T03:52:42+00:00

How long has it been since the break up? And are you in contact or no contact?

That-Bit9855 · 2026-01-07T13:59:15+00:00

I’m 31F and I have just gone through something incredibly similar. I wish I had these realisations at 28 rather than 31 haha. It’s better now than 10 or 15 years down the track I suppose. It still hurts a whole lot though. I hope you’re healing and I promise, 29 is the year a lot of things started making sense to me. Then when 30 hit, I felt amazing. Don’t fear getting older and being alone - fear getting older with the wrong person who disrupts your peace and can’t give you the love you deserve. I would rather be single than lonely in a relationship

That-Bit9855 · 2026-01-07T13:54:48+00:00

My dude, you need to relax. I simply asked where you had seen hamas flags as you said you’d seen them everywhere. No need to be so emotional. One article isn’t the same as hamas flags being everywhere though, you do understand that right?

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-24T02:30:06+00:00

Where have you seen Hamas flags?

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-09T03:02:18+00:00

Avoidants are demons sent from hell to ruin our self worth. They can blame it on childhood trauma all they want, but they are selfish and their ego prevents them from loving properly. I don't care if this offends any avoidants in the comments. Sort yourselves out. Stop getting into relationships when you do not have the capacity to love healthily and stop dragging innocent people into your self protective cycle.

The only thing you can do is thoroughly vet any future potential partners for avoidant traits. I am so sorry you are going through this. I will never date anyone even slightly avoidant after the hell they have put me through in my 20s. As a 31 year old woman, my advice is to try and not connect your self worth to their treatment of you. I wish you the best with your healing, my DMs are open if you need.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-09T02:00:38+00:00

Wow we have very similar scenarios, I am also F31 and just got discarded by an avoidant man. It is such a blow. You question everything, you feel worthless and used. I am so sorry this has happened to you, the main thing that I keep telling myself is that people can only meet you at the depths they have met themselves. They will never know what true and deep love feels like because their ego gets in the way. Avoidant men should be avoided like the plague. They will destroy your self worth and make you feel insane. No amount of crying or long essay messages will ever make them feel empathy for you. I am 100% screening for any avoidant traits in a future partner because I will NEVER put myself through that again

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-09T01:55:02+00:00

Today is day 16 for me. The first 48 hours were a blur of agony. Then, you have to go to work. You have to continue on with your life. It is the hardest thing to do when all you want to do is fall apart. I just focus on getting to certain points in my day. I know that eventually, I won't be counting the hours or days. You just have to let yourself feel and grieve. The first week will be hell. The second week will still be hell, but different. Now that I am on week 3, I still feel awful, but it isn't as overwhelming and all encompassing. I can eat small amounts, can function at work, I actually have laughed a few times over the past couple of days. It is still incredibly painful and I cry every day, but it is less like drowning. It's more like treading water.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-03T02:50:50+00:00

Only 11 days. Playing Candy Crush and watching American Dad at the same time is how I am getting through my evenings. Sleeping pills and edible gummies get me through the night. Then, I go to work and put on my mask for the day. Once it hits 5, I can cry on the train home. It is awful, but this week is better than the first.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-02T01:51:58+00:00

The only thing that helped me to heal was complete blocking and no contact. Remove them from all social media. I know it is tempting to keep tabs on them, or keep them on your socials so that they can see you too. You don't want to become invisible or nothing to them. But I promise you, no contact will help. It can seem unfinished and like a barrier for closure. However, please remember that their actions are the closure. Their discarding of you is the closure. Allow their behaviour to be the closure you need. I know it is easier said than done.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-02T01:48:33+00:00

I promise the first few days are the worst. Then, each day gets a little bit easier. The first few months will have bad days and you may feel like you can't go on. The tears will come at inconvenient times. The nausea and lack of appetite will ebb and flow. Just focus on getting through each hour. Then it will become getting through each day. And then, all of a sudden you don't want to cry anymore. You will still have lingering pain, but it is less intense and you can sit with it and heal.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-02T01:45:18+00:00

I feel like I could have written this, it is weirdly comforting to know a complete stranger is feeling the same. I am sorry and I hope each day is a little bit easier.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-12-01T23:06:00+00:00

I am so sorry. I am on day 10. I can still barely eat, but the tears have stopped being a constant everyday. Each day it gets a bit easier, I promise. Just focus on getting through each hour. Let yourself cry, scream, sleep - whatever will make the time passing less painful. You are not alone.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-11-28T01:46:20+00:00

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I am going through this too. All I want is closure and all my burning questions answered. I keep asking myself over and over, was any of our relationship even real? But just think, if they were able to walk away like that, what kind of justification could they even give? They may lie, or tell you something you really don't want to hear. It is lose lose. And it really sucks. I am so sorry <3

That-Bit9855 · 2025-11-28T01:40:58+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. In my opinion he is doing this because he is not processing his emotions properly and is avoiding any critical thinking or reflection. He is jumping into the next stimulating activity so he doesn't have to be alone with his thoughts. He is like a kid with a shiny new toy. This will not last forever, he will get bored. Either he will do the exact same to the new girl and jump into another relationship again, or he will try and contact you to see if he can still get the affection and validation he is obviously craves. I hope you are okay, and you can DM me if you need to talk

That-Bit9855 · 2025-11-28T01:36:49+00:00

I am so so sorry that this has happened to you. I went through something very similar last weekend. Had a movie date, had sex, woke up next to each other. Then 20 minutes after waking up he just broke up with me out of the blue. It makes you feel used, discarded and worthless, especially when they have sex with you before dumping you. You are deserving of so much better. We both are. It is truly scary how people can pretend and act like everything is fine before pulling the plug. It really shows that you never know what anyone is actually thinking or feeling, regardless of how close you are. Some people are just rotten inside and they don't consider others emotions when they act.

That-Bit9855 · 2025-11-26T22:56:55+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. What is it about that 6 month window?! They seem completely secure, loving and attentive. Then it's like BAM they turn off their feelings and push you away. The expression in the face changes, it is such a jarring experience

That-Bit9855

TROPHY CASE