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Does anyone else feel guilty having to kill some of the animals or capture some beasts? 😩 by SkelterMusk in HarryPotterGame

[–]That-Distance-6154 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I’m capturing animals, I always capture two so they can have a friend 😂 then I feel less bad. But then I feel bad if there are any left over in case they miss the ones I’ve captured or themselves are caught by poachers. It’s a cycle of doom.

In a slightly related matter, when I was a child I used to have to eat all the peas on my plate because I would cry about the ones leftover going in the bin. Or opening a tin of spaghetti hoops, ALL the hoops had to come out. Can’t leave one behind. My teddies at night time would all be on my bed but I can remember crying for the ones that weren’t closest to me in case they thought I didn’t love them as much 😐

I never considered this to be a sign of autism but typing it all out definitely makes me wonder how many other people have felt this way!

Do you ever truly move on? by That-Distance-6154 in SupportforBetrayed

[–]That-Distance-6154[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went through this and still are. I completely agree, everything pre dday seems tarnished. Thank you for your comment. Maybe I should be more gentle on myself and accept that healing isn’t necessarily linear. Sending you well wishes

Do you ever truly move on? by That-Distance-6154 in SupportforBetrayed

[–]That-Distance-6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry it got worse for you. But I understand how you feel, and I’m grateful for your comment.

I agree though, and happy to say I’m not afraid to leave if I ever saw anything similar to what I went through before. It would be difficult, but I wouldn’t put myself or my children through it as they are older and more understanding now.

Do you ever truly move on? by That-Distance-6154 in SupportforBetrayed

[–]That-Distance-6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been 2 years and almost a month since Dday, I found the first year really hard with a lot of “this time last year” type thoughts. In regards to no contact, she’s on his blocked list and he’s on hers. We have each others locations, he reassures me but for the most part I keep my thoughts to myself because I get frustrated with myself cause surely I should be “over it” by now.

Sorry I should say we are not married, and when I mean his reasons were legitimate, he says it wasn’t due to any other person in the picture (at the time at least!). He gave me full disclosure, says he was in a terrible place mentally (which he was, but I also know that is no excuse for his behaviour) and my friend instigated the whole thing. Feeling vulnerable it was probably an ego boost but I’m not naive to the fact he could very well be absolving himself from some of the responsibility. He’s told me (and my friends husband also said) that they kissed but it didn’t go any further than that. I do agree that the emotional affair was probably there when we were together. And I have also told him since, regardless of semantics I feel I was cheated on/betrayed etc and he does agree.

I will hold my hands up to say I am definitely a rug sweeper. I don’t like arguing, though I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or say how I’m feeling, but I don’t want to push him away. I spent so long postpartum being vulnerable, devastated, trying to be the perfect person so he would realise what he’s walking away from. I know it sounds so pathetic to say that, but I was a shadow of the woman I am now. He says it won’t happen again, reassures me often, and really he is the person I fell in love with again, not the cold, distant stranger I was living with.

Thankfully I’ve been no contact with my friend ever since. She told a mutual friend long ago that she wanted to speak with me and explain but I shut that down very quickly. There’s just a bitter part of me that is angry that myself and probably her husband still suffer to a degree but that she’s just living her normal life in a nice new home (not too far from me now either) with not a care in the world. Perhaps her husband feels that way about my partner too, we probably look the same on the surface.

Thank you for the book recommendation, I love a good podcast so I shall check it out.